Sunday, November 27, 2011

Are we afraid to open up the closets?

As I was thinking about the messy closet in my basement, or the abyss as we call it, it reminded me of the sin we try to hide in our life. Even though I acted shocked when I opened up the door to find a pile of mess, I've known it's been there. I've just been avoiding it as long as possible.  Our sin is no different. We know it's there but we keep hiding from it, shutting the door hoping never to have face some of the pain or mess we once had in our life.  However, it never goes away and if not dealt with it will eventually show up when we least want it to.

See, if we have dedicated our life to Christ. It is so important to understand and believe that it's because of the shedding of Christ blood that we are forgiven. Nothing more and nothing less. We don't have to clean out our closets alone nor do we have to keep it hidden or the door shut any longer  We must believe what God says. We might not understand it completely but to have faith in him alone. "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

God wants to give us a new heart.  He will deal with our sin on his term and his time, if we allow him too. He will do it with love and not condemnation. It may hurt, be painful and won't be cleaned out over night. Just like our messy closets it takes time to clean out something that has been sitting there for days, months and even years.  You are forgiven! You don't have to do anything but allow him to into your heart. He won't leave  you alone to face your junk  by yourself. He will never leave you nor forsake you.  He didn't save you  to keep you in the mess either. Scripture says, "He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me" psalm 18:11.

He delights in you!  It doens't matter what you did or didn't do or what others say.  As God begins cleaning out your closets, Satan will try to creap in and throw another pile of clothes at you or remind you of something that still looks filthy. Instead of buying into the lies or trying to prove yourself with good conduct or deeds stop there. It t has nothing to do with  you or me or what we can or can't do. Because without christ all of our rags are filthy.  But instead always  answer Satan with  the blood of Christ.  The blood cleanses us from every sin. God looks upon the blood whereby His son has met the charge, and Satan has no more ground of attack. Our faith is the prcecious Blood and our refusal to be moved from that position can alone silence his charges and put him to flight. ( Romans 8:33, 34)

God is so good and I'm so thankful how he has taken my mess to use it to glorify him!  Believe him, open the door and let the cleaning begin! 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Don't let Satan wreck your Thanksgiving!

Here It is Thanksgiving!  The kids were so excited to wake up and go down to the parade. Now, you think I would learn my lesson and get everything prepared the night before so I wouldn't have to  run around the house just before leaving!  Of course, I haven't. As I was walking downstairs to grab some extra blankets, I opened the door to a room in the basement where I store all the kids clothes that know longer fits them or toys that need to be given away or sold at a garage sale. 

A few months ago, this room was organized and clean. However, we get busy and I would just open the door and throw whatever needed to go in there and hurry up and shut the door.  It know longer looks like it did a few months ago, we now call it the abyss. If we can't find something, there is a good chance it is lost in this room!

(There is two lessons to learn from this, which I will post later.)   Satan loves to try to trip us up and get our mind off the things of God. Here I was getting ready to enjoy the morning with Mark and the kids but instead I found myself getting all stressed out and overwhelmed. I began focusing on what needs to be cleaned and organized. I started feeling my chest getting tight and the  anxiety began kicking in.

I had to take a few minutes pray and this scripture came to my mind. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."- 2 Corinthians 4:18

God is so good! He  had to remind me that the mess will be cleaned sooner or later and probably more later than sooner. It's only temporary but the memories with my kids are eternal. I would rather spend my day celebrating and being thankful than crabby about something that is really no big deal.

This Thanksgiving, as you are preparing for your family to come over or trying to get your husband, the kids and the dish to take over to friends or families house  ready, remember don't stress over what is not temporary don't let the enemy take you away from what is eternal. Being grateful and thankful this Thanksgiving Day! ( If your family drives you crazy as they show up at your door step or as you get ready to leave for their house  just keep reminding yourself of the scripture over, over and over again today!)

Happy Thanksgiving! Many blessing to you and your family!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Why I've decided on passing on the Movie Breaking Dawn.

Since disconnecting from FB, it's amazing how much more productive I've been. I stopped watching TV a few years ago with a few exceptions and only listen to either positive music ( mostly Christian) and Christian speakers. By getting rid of all the extra noise it's incredible to have my creative mind back!(I can't wait to God birth's some of these ideas he is placing on my heart! I just have to stay focus, obedient  and not get ahead of God!)  By limiting to what enters my mind and spirit gives more room for God to speak to me. There is nothing more than I long for is to be in the will and presence of God.

But there have been times I've found myself drifting away.   Sometimes we know what God says and know what we need to do but lack in this area.   I know this past weekend was the craze of the next Twilight movie. ( Serioulsy, since being off FB I forgot all about it until someone at church was talking about seeing the movie! I had know idea it was out! but his leads me to when I made a small decision and how it took me away sliently from the heart of God.)  I will admit I was on this band wagon just a few years ago too even though I knew how important it was to fill my mind up with only things that can move me closer to God's will for my life.

I used the excuse I wanted to read the books and watch the movies  so I could use it to relate to younger girls and older women. I wanted to be able to use the story line to help them learn more about themselves, relationships with others and God.  To help them see it isn't a man who will fill us up only the love of God.  I know there are women of all ages and young girls  who are still longing for this type of intimacy in their relationships. Some are  trying to recreate the emotions they once felt when they were younger and first fell in love becasue maybe their marriage is pretty much dead now. It has lost it's spark. I understand there are women who merely go and wathc these movies for pure entertainment. I will admit I love romance movies! ( The romance movies that move my heart are not the ones anymore made by hollywood. There the love storie made by God. It might sound weird but when you learn how romantic God is it  will blow your mind away. Ladies, if more men and women would listen to God their marriage would be at a whole new level.)  But if we are really honest with ourselves the reason these movies are so successful is becasue we would love nothing more than our fathers ( if we are younger) or husbands to love, admire and protect us the way the characters in the movie do toward Bella. We want the men in our life to fight for us! Because majority of men lack in this area not becasue they don't want to be the men God called them to be but becasue they don't know how, haven't been taught themselves or not allowing God to show up in their life to teach them. They have walls blocking them in every area. ( another talk at another time!)

As I began reading the books a few years ago, couldn't put them down!  I think I went through the entire series in four days.  I felt like about 20 years younger!  I couldn't wait until the movies came out and even dragged Mark to watch Eclipse. 

But the honest truth why I went to see the movies and read the books was because I was feeling so different. I began living a different life style. I didn't want to have the normal conversations I use to have.  God began changing me and the more he did the more alone at times I would feel. The closer I was moving toward Christ the more friends it seemed I was losing. I didn't want them to look at me weird. I knew what God said but at the same time I wanted to be accepted by the world too or at least the few friends I had. I gave in just so I could feel accepted.

 Here God was healing my mind  spirit and but becasue I was looking for validation from others,  I gave in to what I new better in my heart.   Now, I don't think there is anything horrible with the movie or books. I don't think you are going to hell for watching them!  See, God set me free from many areas in my life including sexual bondage.  I know how important it is to God to keep your mind pure.  I didn't need to go and fantazie about other men and wish my husband was like them or recreate some romantic feeling I had when I was younger. God had already recreated our marriage and I didn't need to hide at a movie to go and bring it back to life.

I'm not judging people who love Twighlight!  I know Christians and non christians who are Edward and Jacob fans!!! This is about me, my journey and relationshiop with God.  God reminds me that anyone who makes the choice to follow Christ and not the world will be different. It's not a bad thing either! I know how important it is to live the life God has promised. It's not about me and pleasing myself. In order to live the life God promised we have to be intentional about walk our walk with him. I want to be intentional about everything that comes in my mind and spirit. I want all of God not just part of him. Also, I want to teach my kids how to use wisdom and discrenment about what enters their mind and spirt too. I don't want them following the crowd just so they can fit in.  I want them to be leaders but how can I expect it from them If there mother doesn't have the same standards for herself. The last time we were at the theater, Markus saw a poster of Twighlight. He looked at me and said Mom, this is not a good movie. You need to keep your eyes and heart pure. He was so right. Talk about conviction.

Yes, I could of seen Breaking Dawn.  I don't think its a horrible movie. I didn't go see it becasue of the vampires either!  I decided to not see the movie becasue I don't want to give my daughters a mix messages. The message in these movies is not what I want to teach my daughters. ( this is another discussion at another time too!) I don't want to fill my eyes with sex or find myself lusting over some fictional characters. I want to die to myself and all my selfish desires. I want a heart pure for my husband and my God.

 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Phil 4:8

 I have experienced first hand the goodness of God.  I don't want to pollute my mind with anything that will keep me away from this life God has blessed me with!  I just don't want to know what God says, I want to live the way God says. Keeping your mind pure will only help you experience the fullness of God!

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:22-25

Sunday, November 20, 2011

How can you get your husband to talk and spend more time with you? You might have to speak it in words he can understand! SEX

Talking and spending time is one of my love languages. I believe talking about our day, sharing our feelings and being open and vulnerable with our husband is something wives long for from their husbands.  I know when mark gives me his full attention and is really listening to me, I feel such a deeper connection with him.

We can probably guess what Mark and what most husbands first love language is, yes SEX!  To be honest it's not something that is top on my list as much as I love him. Especially after teaching the kids, driving them everywhere, making dinner and standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes all day! ( our dishwasher has been broken. It should be fixed any day and I can't wait!) It's something I have to be intentional about. We are one and his needs are just important as my needs.

Ladies, if you need your husband to talk, listen and spend time with you. You might have to speak his language(If reading something about sex offends you, then you might not want to read this blog! Meeting each others needs successfully is what makes a marriage thrive. We need more Christians to get this so their marriage can do what it was intended to do. Glorify God!)  If he is anything like my husband when you say the word sex you have his complete attention. I don't care, he could be in the middle of a deep sleep or to tired to put the dishes way, but say the magical three letter word and he will do whatever I ask!

One day we were feeling irritable with each other. We had a busy week. I didn't feel we were communicating like I needed, he wasn't getting sex like he needed and we were not praying together. We pray as a family every night but we really try to pray every night just the two of us. (It's amazing what happens when we open up and honestly talk with God what is on our heart. I feel so close to mark and it makes our day and marriage better.) Thankfully prior to this happening,  God helped me explain what I needed to say in words to mark so he  could relate to!   He helped both of us understand their is an enemy out there that wants nothing more than to brake our marriage up. Marriages don't end in a day. It something that happens gradually and I'm so thankful we can recognize when we are getting off track!

One day I said to him, Sex is important to you and to be honest it's not on the top of my list. But I love you and so it's important to me.  So, spending quality time together is extremely important to me but it doesn't mean sitting on the coach watching football with you. It doesn't mean you read a book and I read a book and go to bed. I need your undivided attention not part of it, not you watching football or Espn and I have a small window to talk during  commericals. I need to feel wanted.  I do not just want to go through the motions of marriage.  I want you to still pursue me.  Send me a quick text during the day or just for know reason touch me, kiss me and let me know that you are still crazy in love with me! Do something just to let me know I was on your mind.   I wasn't sure if he still was getting it. I said, " what if during sex i fell asleep, started yawing or picked up a book and started reading!!!

He looked at me and smiled!  He finally got it!!!

The other day as  we began  feeling irritable with each other, we both realized what was going on. (Years ago, it would of turned into a full blown fight). We prayed together , talked and then I rocked my husbands world!!! Ladies, if your husband is lacking in the communicating part you just might need to speak it in his language. Once he gets it he will give you the attention, time and affection your heat is longing to have.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and like wise to her husband. the wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands' body does not belong to him alone but also his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutal consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-contorl. -1 Corinthians 7:4-5.

Is it time to get out of the nest?

God has placed this love for helping women on my heart for sometime now!  I wasn't exactly what he wanted me to do.  He spoke clearly to me a few years ago about getting my relationship with mark on the right track. My first responsibility is to my husband and kids.  ( of course God is first!)

God has taught me and continues to teach me. He has helped me to depend on him and nothing else. He reminds me I don't need the approval of anyone else. I'm grateful I have a husband who See's me the way God sees me. He encourage me everyday to conquer those negative thoughts and not let the devil win.( I know we only need the approval from God but I will tell you it really helps when you have people in your life that really know and care for you. They see your gifts and talents and never let you give up!  Life can be hard and we need people to speak life.)

I've began feeling God pushing me out of the nest! Telling me its time to start moving. To focus and believe Him.  I tried to make excuses or even hide behind my kids but he knows where to find us! 

As I began walking out again, speaking and writing. I haven't made all the right moves. What I thought what God was having me do has been changing. Yes, I love helping woman grow and look deeper into their lives but it has increased to standing up for family, marriage and helping parents train their kids not according to the world but to the WORD and to help home school  families.  As I'm learning and realizing as my kids are getting older it's so important to surround ourselves with families who want the same thing. To be honest, it's really hard to find people who want to grow deeper with God, put their families first and do life differently. We need to be intentional with everything we do. The world is giving out a completely different message. God has really showed me how I can be different, bring him Glory, stand up for marriage, family and homeschoolers!  He is shifting my ideas, bringing out what has been in my heart, giving me courage to begin to speak on issues that nobody wants to talk about. This could only of happened as I began moving.

If you are feeling God pushing you out of the nest like me and giving you wings to fly but afraid we will fall, don't worry. You might but on the way down and on the way up God will give you his word, his strength and everything in between to get you back flying in the direction he wants you to go!  Begin flying my friend the world is desperately waiting and needing you!

Get quite and Get moving!

The beginning of June God was trying to speak to me, but I couldn't hear him with all the clutter I was bringing into my life. I wanted to desperately hear from him. However, I was engaging in extra activities in my life that I knew were not necessarily helping me grow spiritually. ( It wasn't anything horrible either. I just was busy with the kids and piling up my schedule with activities that I didn't have to do. I knew I didn't want to get back into the people pleasing business! I've been there and if you are trying to please people you will only be disappointed! I only want to please God! I knew It was time for me to make changes.)

Many of us know or have heard from God and know the call on our life.  We might not know it exactly but we have somewhat of an idea and we want to fulfill it just can't get over the mountain. We are not willing to let go and do what is necessary to hear from God. We don't want to inconvenience ourselves or have to make the changes that we know God wants from us.  I would never change living my life for God. It outweighs living a life for myself any day. But I will fully admit, It doesn't mean it will always be easy!

What do we do when we want to hear from God?  What do we do if we want to know what to do next? How can we deepen our relationship with our Creator?

First, We need  to get the distractions out of our life! This may look like watching less TV or no tv, turning off your radio or change the type of music you are listening to, disconnecting your FB page, maybe you might even have to spend less time volunteering right now in order to get your life straight?  Ask God to help show you how to prioritize your life and remove the clutter.

Second, of course is pray. Spend time with God alone and through out the day talking to him but also listening to him. By removing the distractions in your life helps you focus on what God is saying.

Third, we wait!  Be prepared we might not always get the answer we are looking for. Remember it's not about you and me it's about God. He might not say anything for awhile either. Sometimes that is really hard for me. But I've learned waiting on God and getting quiet doesn't mean do nothing!  There has been seasons in my life that yes God said don't do anything yet but that didn't mean I sit in a room and twiddle my thumbs or moan and groan!   It meant continue doing what he has me doing.  Training my kids and growing my relationship with my husband and with my God. He had me learning more about him and myself  by reading his word, listening to pastors I admire and being open to learning from the people God put in my life. (Sometimes he might place someone that is really hard for us to love or get along with for that matter to teach us a lesson about ourselves!)  Waiting on God doesn't mean do nothing or sit around and complain either! 
Jesus says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  Matthew 7:7. Nowhere does it say ask, knock and sit around do nothing but complain! 

There is also a time he will tell you to MOVE! We might not be sure exactly what he wants us to do but just walking in faith will help us know what direction he wants us to go. It doesn't mean we might make mistakes and we will be surprised by what God will reveal to us. I don't believe God wants us to be idle with our tongues nor our time. Everything we do should be to his Glory. When we do this we will walk closer to him and to the call on our lives.

What are you waiting for?  Maybe you need to disconnect for awhile so God can help renew your mind and break free from strong holds  or maybe he just want you to believe him and just start moving. Remember, Ask, seek and knock! 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I want my kids heart to break for what breaks God's. How do we do that in a world that idols materialsim?

Teaching our kids about giving and serving are one of the many seeds we want to plant in our kids hearts. First, it starts at your home, the church and then the community.

What do you do when the world is teaching our kids a completely different message? It's a battle that we have to be willing to fight. The one way is showing by example.   A few years ago, a friend of mine inspired me when I found out  during the harsh winters Michigan experiences she was making lunches and taking them to the homeless all on her own. We don't have to wait for our church to organize an outreach or event to participate in. ( I love my church and outreach ministry is huge! We serve not only the surrounding communities but to the world as well) But I want my kids to know they are the church. They can do anything God places on their hearts and they can make a difference even in their own community!

 Most churches do amazing outreach but there really isn't anything for the kids to do. Yes, they can bring in can foods, help shop for clothes and toys for the people in need. You can talk about it with them and explain why it's so important but there is nothing compared to hands on experience. For them to see the hurt and suffering in the world. I don't believe they are to young for those seeds to be placed in their hearts.

We begin during Thanksgiving and hope this year we will continue this all year long. We started our lunchbox ministries!  There was nothing more that made my heart beam last night as when my kids were sitting at the table making peanut butter sandwiches for the homeless. They never complained. They were so excited and they were talking about how we could get more families to help and how we could reach out to more people, pray, give out bibles  and show them Jesus!  That is success to me!! ( Now, please know we are by no means leave it to Beaver family!  Just a few hours before Mark and I were playing football with the kids and all they did was yell, cry and complain. One wanted to be quarterback, one wanted to tackle the other one fell and cried! You get the picture!!! )

We will go out to the streets of Detroit today to hand out the lunches. I know many people think I'm wrong for taking my kids down there. I don't want them to live in fear.nor do I want them to think they are better than anyone else.  Look, anyone one of us could be on the streets. All it takes is making a few wrong choices.  I want their hearts to break for what breaks God's. Yes, mark and I use discernment and never put our kids in danger.  We want our kids to Love like Jesus and that means to be risky too!

This year think of something you and your family can do to help make a difference. Remember you are the Church!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Say to that stinken Mountain MOVE!

I refuse to go around, by, near or for that matter look at that mountain again.  It just wasn't a mountain I was stuck on it was the entire mountain range. Not only was on stuck and going around and around I think I found myself sleeping on the dang thing. So, how do you begin to not repeating or making the same mistakes over and over again?

I hear so many people saying, "I will never do that, I never want to be like my mom or dad or I'm different I will not make the same mistakes as them, and then they do exactly what they intended never to do.  Why is that?  There are a few reasons but one reason I believe is self awareness. We can teach our kids all day long, do our daily activities around the house and tip toe around our marriage  afraid to rock the boat and discuss real issues hoping our kids will be different, our marriage will bloom and the cycle from the generations before doesn't repeat.  Guess what it does. It ends up slipping in.

If we don't look at our past and understand why we made our choices we made, look at our relationship with God, our parents especially our relationship with our dad and even the friends we surrounded ourselves with it the cycle will repeat whether its consciously or unconscioulsy.  In order to break it you need God to help begin to reveal areas in your life that need healing.  I will testify it is not easy. For many people it's hard to admit anything about their childhood.  It's not saying you don't love your parents or you haven't forgiven them by looking at certain areas in your life. This is not about them its about you and living the promises God has for you.
I don't mean you have to look under a microscope and examine every area in your life. God will show you what you need to let go of and you don't have to share with the world or blog your life screw ups like I do!  I'm just a little different. The reason I do because I hope by me being transparent can set someone else free. It can be just between you and God. Once you do you set yourself free from the curse being handed down to the next generation. 
Self awareness is not easy but I've said it a million times that is why you need God.  It's so much better than being stuck on that mountain peak.  God is saying to you, "Say to this mountain Move from here to there." math 17:20.  Believe it and tell that mountain to move for the last stinken time!

When Feeling inadequate God always reminds me of his grace.

Mark and I have been praying for God to place amazing Godly families in our life.  To bring the right teachers and friends not only for us but for our kids as well.  We want to surround our self with people who just want so much more for their life.  I don't mean more as in bigger house, nicer cars or taking elaborate vacations. ( I'm not saying there is anything wrong with those things, if God wants to bless us with those!  I'm all for it if he decides to do so!  You won't hear me complaining!  Those THINGS are not our focus.)  God is sure bringing those people to us.  Its so refreshing to have people who are like minded, people who can love you enough to push you to grow.

Not only is God putting great families in our life, but he is surrounding me personally with Women who really get me!  ( they are Angels to Mark!  I love Friday's because  I  get together with some of these womean  and we talk, talk and more talk!  They are Angels to Mark because I think there is so much his ears can only take.)  There is just something incredible that happens when a group of women on fire for God get together.   It scares the crap out of the enemy!  Some days after I leave these women, the kids are in bed, mark is sleeping and I'm alone I  find myself feeling inadequate.  Doubt starts to creep in and  I wonder if I'm just screwing my kids up more! Its exactly what the devil wants us to believe. I fall to my knees asking God to help me and all my friends. To bring favor to those ones who are truly walking with you not to glorify us but so we can Glorify you. God I know you are looking for a peculiar person to answer your call. God, I don't know how much more peculiar we can be especially me!  It's not easy going against the world. So many people are just waiting for your people to fail so they can point their fingers and laugh. God help the ones who are stuck and questioning their faith.  God do amazing things so they can see you.

Today, As I  was pouring my heart out to God and praying for my family, friends and  giving him all by doubt, inadequacies and insecurities, He said loud and clear, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV. Get up, clear your tears and do what I've called you to do!  I said, thank you Jesus for always reminding me. You are all we need nothing more and nothing less.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

You Can Laugh all you want to! It's ok with me!

I can't help but laugh at myself and at God.  You may not agree with me but God is funny. He is also wild too!  I  know this because I'm wild at heart!  I use to use it for bad and my own selfish pleasure but now I have learned how to use all that I have to life a life for him!  I don't know about you but I'm having a blast!  Life isn't easy but it sure is not boring anymore!   Even sex with my husband is wild and fun!!!

Anyway, everything I write about is so the opposite of who I use to be. Sure, I had a good additude most of time if you didn't tick me off!  I thought positive expect about my husband and people who would get on my nerves!  I didn't see anything wrong with not being pure even with your thoughts. ( Until God gave me children and boy did I realize I needed to change!)  I never thought I would write about purity for my children, respecting your husband, living God's dream not yours!  The list can go on and on!  I believed in God but it took time for me to know him!  I know God was looking at me and saying its going to take this one a long time!  She is stubborn, hard headed and learns slowly!!! Thankfully, he didn't give up on me. 
Its amazing how he took my heart and changed it so drastically!  If there are sceptics or critiques that read my blog its ok!  I use to be one too!  I know I have friends that think I have lost my mind. It's ok.  Years ago I use to think the same thing about people like me!  I just didn't know any better.  I you think I'm stupid for living my life the way I am or you want to call me names, I can handle it!  Because thankfully, I know who I am in Christ and nothing else matter!

How can you begin to renew your realtionship with your children or spouse?

Before I write anymore blogs, there is something that is on my heart that I need to express.  I know I write all kinds of life lessons on here, but please know they are NEVER to CONDEMN anyone. I know many people who have come to know Christ later in their life and they regret so many choices they have made especially regarding their marriage, parenting and how they mislead their family.  Also, I know Christians who were so caught up with RELIGION and RULES they forgot about the relationship part one with God and the other with their family.  They only talked the talk but didn't walk it and they to hold on to past mistakes and now find their kids far from the heart of God.

If this is you remind yourself about  God's grace. He has forgiven you and given you a new begining.   He has given you a new life and with time I pray you can begin to forgive yourself. 

Renewing your relationship with your kids or spouse may be one of your biggest priorities.  However, they can't get out of their head the old you and all the memories. They have every wall up and refuse to let you get close.  There is Hope.  God can renew the relationship and make your family closer than it ever has before.  It will NOT be EASY and there is a chance they will never let you in.  You need to hold on to hope and God's promises.  Remember they have free will too.  They can either choose to forgive you or not, its really up to them. Here is some simple steps that may help heal the pain and begin to open the door
  • Pray, pray and pray!  You need the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
  • Humble yourself before your spouse or children.  Openly admit to them you screwed up and you are sorry. ( if you are in a physically  or mental abusive relationship, please seek help asap)
  • Let them see the light of Christ working in your life.  Let them know you are not perfect but are working on making things better. Don't just let your words be words but let them see by your actions.
  • Be patient!  Don't expect the first time you talk with them that everything will be like Roses! It will might get worse before it gets better.  There will be many discussion you will need to have. It takes time.
  • Let them express what ever they need to say. Don't be afraid of confrontation. It might hurt but that is why you need to be in prayer and need God and know this is part of the healing process.
  • focus on the good. Don't CONDEMN them. I know many Christians who mess this up. Now that they are a new creation in Christ they begin telling others what is wrong with them or how they are messing things up. This is called Christian Pride. Think about your journey and how long it took you.  You made some stupid mistakes too but Jesus still accepts, love and works on you every day. Love like Jesus
  • They may not be able it from you!  Your relationship with them might get better but they still can't grasp Church or having a realtionhsip with Christ. Pray that God will bring someone in their life they can here it from. Pray God can soften their heart and give them new eyes so they can see the new you!
  • Remember the word is relationship. It takes time, patience's, love and Hope. 
Don't give up as hard as it may be.  I don't have all the answers and don't pretend to have them but I do know it doesn't matter who you are and what age you are hearing your sorry and I love you from your parents never gets old.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Are you buying the Lies?

Stop buying into the lies! The more I read God's word the more I realize all the stuff the world tries to seduce us with. Having you believe there is something wrong with you becasue you aren't living according to the world standards.

One of the lies being fed to us is living YOUR dream. You might be saying wait a minute Kim. You talk about finding your purpose all time and running after it with all your heart. Yes, I do but there is something wrong with the statement above. It involves the words YOUR dream instead of God's dream or purpose.

I've heard people say and agree with to some degree that the biggest tragedy in life is dying with your gifts and talents inside of you. You never tapped into your true potential. See, people often screw that all up. Yes, it is a tragedy becasue God has given us so much and not to use our talents is a slap in his face. But people often forget about God's desire and dreams for their life. Instead we push him aside and want it to be all about me. What's in it for me, is what most people ask themselves. It becomes all about me. My dream, My life and My desires. When we focus on MY dream what ends up happening is we end up sacrificing relationships, family and our own dignity just to please the world.

Yes, we need dreams. Yes, we should be living a life worth living. We should be living a life of purpose. In order to do that we need to die to ourselves. We need to stop asking God what can you do for me. Instead we need to submit to him and ask him What can I do for you. God's design for you life is way bigger than your puny dream could ever be. You won't have to sell yourself short, give into to sin or find yourself empty or alone after acheiving what the world is trying to offer you.

I believe one of the biggest life's tragedy is getting to the end of your life and realize the one you were running from was the who was trying to save you. Accepting Christ in your life is the ultimate goal even if it is when you take your last breath. However, one of the tragedies that even Christians make is dying not living God's perfect design and dream for your life. Don't chase the world's dream find Christ and his perfect will for you. Live God's dream not yours!

Teaching my kids to be pure. Can it be done?

Well, Mark and I are getting ready to start a new season in our life. It's called the teenage years.  We still have at least two more years until those hormones start kicking in but we are getting ready NOW!

We are doing something very different to what the world is teaching young kids today about dating and sex. We are actually teaching our kids about purity and saving yourself for marriage.  Now, I'm sure there are people reading this and laughing at me thinking this will never happen.  I have news for you, we are not buying into that lie either.  I never bought into the terrible two's or horrible three's and I'm not about to buy into my daugher will be disrespectful, rebellious and boy crazy.  Could she yeah there is a chance but not if Mark and I train/teach our kids with LOVE and LIVE by the same standards and show them by example.

I will admit teaching my kids about purity is not something I have any idea about becasue let's face it. I did not live that way. Both Mark and I don't want our kids to make the same mistakes as we did.  We both hate the fact that we never saved ourselves for each other.  I've been reaching out to other families who share the same values and learning from them. I'm reading and doing what ever we can so we can be prepared to lead our kids a completly different way the world is teaching. Is it going to be easy.  HECK NO!  But I believe the only way we will be successful at this is if we have self awareness ourselves. We can't teach something if we don't truly understand why we made the choices we made.  ( let me tell you...God has revealed so much to me these past years and shed the guult, shame and broke me from many strong holds. There will be a book about it and I know God will have it on the best seller list!!!   I know there are more woman feeling the way I did  and marriages struggling. I know what God has taught me can help someone else have a major break through!!!) It goes deeper than just I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes.  If there is no self awareness, goals for your family and are not prepared to tackle some of life's challengs then the world will eat your kids alive!  The world takes no mercy.  We love our kids and our marriage to much to let anyone come and take it away.  We will fight this fight and people can laugh all they want.  How great will it be when my kids save there heart for the one God brings them and they have no regret, heart aches or shame attached to them.  There will never be the question did he or she really want me.

I'm calling on all my friends who want the same for their son's and daughters. We need to come together, support and learn from each other. It won't be easy but with God on our side it can be done!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Is there such thing as Guilt free parenting?

If you are a Christian and homeschooling parent, there tends to be more pressure on us and how we are raising our children. The world is anxiously waiting for either the parent or child to screw up, so they can point there fingers and tell you," I told you so."

For my husband and I, we are always discussing and re-evaluating our life and how we are training our kids and being the model for them. Just when we think we know something, God takes us to a new season in our life. Training your kids into today's world, is not easy. With everything coming at you from TV, video games, music, clothing to the friends your children are exposed to is a full time job alone. I pray all the time and ask God to not let me grow weary. To keep me strong in this race to train and raise kids with Godly character. At times, I can feel like I'm going over board and all alone. I begin to doubt and question myself as mother? Then I let my guard down. But because God is so faithful, just when those ideas begin to pop in my head, he sends me simple reminders. It can be a encouraging word from my husband, my parents or dear friends. It can be a conference or a sermon a church. He even sends me reminders when I turn on the TV briefly and see all the crap that is out there. He whispers to me, "I'm not expecting perfection my dear child. Nobody is perfect, keep learning and growing and being the example you are to my children."

Do I know everything about parenting? Absolutely not! Here are a few things I've learned along the way. Hopefully, it can be a reminder to you, to give yourself grace and remember training your children isn't something that happens overnight.

  • We serve God first. He is the leader of our family and we go to his word and prayer for direction. My kids understand with their heart it's not just mom and dad laying down the rules. It's God. We as parents have the same rules and guidelines to live by as they do.

  • I surround myself and look for guidance from other families that I admire. However, I don't want to be them. I can learn from others but ultimately God has the finally say. Some people might not agree with me and how we train and raise our kids. I'm OK with that because I'm not living to please man only God!

  • I look at my kids heart. They make mistakes all the time they are not perfect, but I know their heart. When they ask for forgiveness and truly mean it, find forgiveness and truly understand the lesson learned, there is peace in my heart.
  • We can't be afraid to discipline with love. As much as you may think they don't, They want discipline in their life. They may test you on it but its our job to follow through, give them structure and not cave in as tough as it may be. 
  • I try really hard to not be so hard on myself if they disobeyed in public when they know better. I would get upset not because of what they did but what others would think of me. I find women in general especially in the church can be very critical. I would get mad at the kids because of my own pride and ego and miss the teaching moment with my child.

  • Its a process and to celebrate the good qualities the kids do and not always the negative. Not saying we don't don't about the negative but to focus more on the positive and be honest with them.

  • God is not in a box. He is alive, wild and in love with them. He has such a bigger plan and purpose for each one of our lives. When we live in obedience to him, to trust him and really know him. It's not just about rules. It's about love and relationship.

Does this mean we don't have areas in our life we need to work on? Just the opposite. It's never ending and we as parents never stop learning. It's an adventure that I love being on. Doesn't mean it's easy and doesn't mean I don't cry or question myself at times. But there isn't anting more I want to see is my kids growing up to love and serve the Lord and not make the same mistakes and there dad and I have made.

Will the guilt go away?  I wish I could tell you yes. But as we grow closer to God, I think you may find the answer is yes.  But don't forget there is an enemy out there that wants to condemn you.   Remember, God doesn't condemn he convicts but with Love.  He  is so good. I'm thankful for his grace and mercy. Remember, God has grace on us. We need to stop beating ourselves up. Yes, we can always improve and get better, but also celebrate where we have came and were we are going. To always give Grace to our kids as well...

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Dealing with insecurity? You are not alone!

Here I am in Love with God more than I ever have been in my life, studying his word and living for him.  Yet, insecurity still haunts me.  God has helped me overcome many obstacles in my life, set me free from strongholds, made me take a deeper look at myself, healed my marriage, basically changed my life from the inside out.  So, why then do I still struggle with the thoughts of not good enough and afraid of failing God.

As God has been working on me, I felt the calling to women's ministry a few years ago. Though, God told me it wasn't time yet, to keep learning.  Recently, I have been feeling him tugging at my heart telling me its time to start.  I've been using different excuses but he keeps telling me its time to move forward!  I'm so fired up on the calling on my life.  I love learning about God, teaching and sharing Jesus with women.  Even though I may know these things in the deepest part of my heart, the minuet I walk outside my house or in a church,  I feel so unworthy.  I've had the discussion with God many times and maybe you have had the same talk.  Why me?  Why did you make me the way I am?  Why did you make me so different?  At times, I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.  Did you have to give me such a big mouth!  (Thankful he has helped me learn how to use it for Good because for years all it did was get me in trouble!) 

I think he has gotten tired of my baby fits and whining!  The enemy wants us to feed our insecurities because it takes us away from the promises God wants for our life.  God keeps telling me and he is telling you the same if you just listen, he loves us, he delights in us!  He have gifted each one of us for a reason and for his purposes.  I have to keep remembering that and to be thankful the way he made me even if others around me might not like it! He will keep working on me and changing me as he wants to.  Until then God has told me its time to get a move on! 

Here I am!  Despite all doubts and struggles I have I am learning to accept his gifts, the calling on my life and to know its not arrogant or prideful to know who you are in Christ.  God has opened a door to begin a women's group at a local library.  I don't know what his plans are, if it is to teach me humility because nobody showed up this week!  Is it to trust him and just start walking?  Is it to help me focus each week on different topics so I can dive deeper in his word? Is it so I keep giving all my insecurities over to him? I believe yes to all the questions.  I'm not doing this for myself.  I'm doing this to Glorify my God.  Everyone has a beginning and God says if we stay faithful, walk by faith and not by sight and do good with what he has given us then more will come.  My heart is to help other women just like me.


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Taking a Break This Summer!

This has been by far one of my best summer's ever!  The craziest thing is I didn't really do anything!  I took a break from just about everything!  Well, except for taking care of my family!  I didn't have the kids signed up in a million activities.  Markus and Marcia did their usual Karate with mark and Makenna continues to do gymnastics of course!  We did fun activities around the house.  The kids had . their friends over and had many sleep overs and we even made a trip to cedar point.  I was able to connect with a few friends, though not  as many as I would of liked to have seen.  There are still some people I tried to make plans with but becasue of everyone's schedule it just hasn't worked out yet! 

In one sense I was busy this summer with every day living with four kids, but this type of "busy" is what I love!  What I took a break from was all the other unnecessary things I didn't have to do or the time I was spending on FB!  My mind was begining to fill up with clutter.  I was getting irritable and not spending the time with God that I really wanted to be spending.  It was time to disconnect and get quite, which is not an easy task for me.  I really felt God wanting me to do this again.  I needed a clear mind to hear from Him.

If you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, trying to find out what decision to make, kids are driving you crazy or your marriage needs help, try taking sometime for yourself.  There has to be a few things in your schedule that you don't have to do.  I didn't have to ck FB every morning, evening and sometimes a few times during the day!  You want to talk about cluttering your mind!  Why do we really need to know what time someone is using the bathroom or going to the store?  Don't get me wrong, I like FB and connecting with friends but at this point in my life I wanted to hear what God was saying more than the 200 friends were thinking and most of them I don't really even know! 

God took these past few weeks and came through once again.  Every time there is a lesson learned don't get to comfortable because he isn't done with you yet!  There are more coming your way.  I learned what Love truly means. I learned on what it means to wait on God and he taught me in the funniest ways too!  He helped me to understand how much he loves me and how to give myself grace.  It's ok to mess up!  He is teaching me to let Him do the work and not me.  All I have to do is follow and do what he is asking me to do.  I can't wait to write about all the lessons he has taught me and hopefully through my mess, it will bless you!  If you feel like your head is going to pop at any given moment or you just would like to have five minutes to yourself or to be even to use the bathroom alone, take those as signs.  Its time to take a breather and break from all the unnecessary appointments in your life or even from FB and hear from God!  I am so excited on what he is doing in me and through me and that could only happen when we take time and listen.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Is it really hard being baby number 4?

Marie is turning 11 months on the 30th and her first birthday is just around the corner.  However, I haven't a clue on what we are going to do for her.  It's funny how things change from the first child to the fourth!  I remember having Makenna's first birthday and had it planned a few months ahead of time or at least I had an idea of what I wanted to do. I think we invited everyone we knew!!  Then as we had Markus and Marcia the parties became smaller and smaller! 

Sometimes I feel like Marie and sometimes Marcia gets the short end of the stick.  Especially Marie.  I've only taken her once to get her pictures taken since she was born.  Makenna and Markus had their pictures taken every 3 months and even marcia had her pictures taken a few times too!  Marie has gotten more hand me downs than any of the other kids, barely any new toys (who needs toys when there is remote controls, pots and pans and cupboard doors!) The video camera doesn't get turned on as much but who as time because we are on the go Marie spent her first year in her car seat!  ( not so much but it did seem like it at times) and the pictures we have taken are still sitting in the camera waiting to get printed.  Makenna and Markus have tons of scrapbooks and baby books and Marie only has her name printed on the front of the book.

But with saying all that, I also look at all the love she recieves.  She has two sisters and a brother that loves her more than life itself.  Mark and I are in such a better place mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  We are not so high strung like we were when Makenna was little and our marriage has been restored like I can't explain.  God is the center of our life and our vision for our family is even larger than it was 10 years ago when Makenna was born.  I've chilled out in so many ways and learned so many life lessons and because of that Marie benefits from it greatly ( so do the other kids)  .  We love Marie as much as we love all the other kids and couldn't imagine our life without here.

Actually, I don't really think she has missed out being number four.  She receives  so much love and at the end of the day  "stuff" really doesn't matter.  Yes, she doesn't have her own room and when she gets married one day and we want to put a collage of pictures together of her life, I might have to borrow pictures from my friends or find pictures of the kids and tell her it is her ( thank goodness they all look alike) and she can tease Mark and I and say how she never had as much as her big brother and sisters.  But if mark and I do our job as parents she will know that things aren't important and she will know without a doubt how much God,Mark and I love her with ever bit of our heart....It all depends on how you look at life.  Being number four isn't has bad as it looks even if she doesn't get the party of the year!!!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The experience with ear piercing!

Today, was a big day in the Watt family!  Makenna and Marcia decided to get their ear's pierced.  Mark and I made the decision when they were born to wait until they were old enough to take care of their ear's by themselves.  Also, we wanted them to remember the day and have it be a special memory.  We wanted it to  be their choice.  The age we decided on was 7.  Makenna wanted nothing to do it with it but Marcia has been waiting patiently.  She would of had them pierced at 3 years old!  Finally, Makenna said she wanted them pierced but only with Marcia.  So, we decided to let them both do this together! It was hilarious.

First, Markus hates the sight of blood and the thought of needles makes him go nuts! You would of though it was him that was getting his ear's pierced!  He thought there would be blood after they shoot his sisters  ear's with the piercing gun.  He was screaming in the back ground, "I can't look!  It's going to hurt!  I don't want to see blood!  You would have to be there, because we were laughing so hard. 

Makenna would not go first she started having second thoughts, so Marcia hopped up on the chair and said I'm ready lets do this!  As the lady was getting ready to pierce her ear she did an in to out block! ( I  think that is what you call it) Her karate instructors would of been so proud!  She said, "WAIT" I have to talk to my mom.  She whispers in my ear, "you did this when you were a kid, right?"  I said, "Yes." She said, Ok, I'm ready!"  After it  was all over with and she saw how cute she looks with the earrings, she said, "I'm ready to this again!"  (BTW, we were at the mall and marcia was wearing her bathing suit and her matching skirt and tennis shoes! so cute!)

Makenna was a different story.  She said her stomach was hurting and was so nervous.  She decided to do it and held my hand so tight!  After, she said it wasn't that bad!!

It was a big day for the girls but a bigger day for Mark and I.  As we looked at them and just admired how beautiful our daughters  ( markus is a handsome boy too!) are and  how grown up they look with their sparkle in their ears, we realized not only will they never forget this moment and neither will we.  I think I saw a little tear in Mark's eye's.  We both know and see our first baby girl getting ready to enter a new chapter of her life.  Our kids are growing up and mark and are growing with them.  It's a beautiful thing, but man it can just tug at your heart because it just goes by so fast....

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Taking some time and reflecting on the past 13 years of my marriage and father's day.  It amazes me how time really does go by so fast.  I look at my 4 kids and see them growing up right before my eyes. Yes, it is very exciting but at the sametime I want to scream and cry because it seems like it was yesterday that I was the little girl asking my dad on Saturday nights to go bike riding up to the coney island to see my mom at work!  It seems like yesterday my mom tucking my brother and I in at night and giving me those mom talks that have continued into my adult life!  It seems like yesterday, it was my dad teaching me how to bounce a basketball and now it's my husband teaching our kids.  Life hasn't been easy but I'm so thankful for everything in my life.  You would think after homeschooling the kids and being with them all day everyday that I would be so excited to have them grow up and get out of the house, but it's actually the oppostie. I know how fast life goes by and I never want to grow weary or loose focus on what life is truly about.  I have an amazing dad and husband that loves me so much, but who I reall need to thank is my heavly father because it is him who  has given me so much life especially when I didn't deserve it.  He has loved me and continues to love me and helps me grow to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.  Even when I didn't realize he was next to me, he still loved me.Thank you for changing me .Thank you for every minute of my life, for the family and friends you have blessed me with, for the good and hard times becasue in those desparte times is where I have always found you.  Thank you God for all amazing blessings you have given me. Sometimes, I may forget and get stressed out over something very trivial but you always remind me what life is all about. 

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Commencement Speech- Professional Speaker Kim Watt

Its amazing how God works! I haven't spoken in front of a large audience over  a year or two and last night I began to freak out! I prayed and asked God do I really have to do this? If so, he better be with me and give me the words to speak.

I know this is to much information but when I woke up this morning I had the signs of speaking!!! Every time I speak I have stomach aches and gas!!! As weird as this sounds I welcomed those feelings because I knew I was getting ready to do something that I love doing. There is something that happens to me as I walk on a stage and have an opportunity to speak and connect with an audience. It's as though my soul comes alive! Besides being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, niece and friend ( I think I have them all covered!) there is no where else I would rather be than on stage using my God given talents and glorifying God!

See, God whispered to me today and reminded me that I was created for more and yes the season I'm in right now is extremely important and I love being a stay at home mom. God reminded me if I stay focused in due time I will be able to get out there and speak again and I can't wait!

As you listen to this, there is a mistake when talking about the death of my best friend. I meant to say she died two months prior to graduation and instead I said she passed away three months ago.

Thank you Jesus for the simple reminder never to give up! Let me know what you think....

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Can you really feed a family on $100.00 per week?

Grocery shopping can be a pain and costly.  However, if you are serious about wanting to make extra money and willing to CHANGE, then one of the answers can be as simply looking in you refrigerator or kitchen cabinets!  If you want to save money or make money it is time to start trimming the fat from your life and it can start with grocery shopping!

One of my mentors put me to this challenge 1 1/2 ago. (she is a Christian, married, mother of 5 an a self-made millionaire! . If you want to debt free, have a better relationship or open a business, then get people in your life you can learn from. You don't want to be them but learn what they have done.)  It has taken me this long to get it down!  However, with a little attitude adjustment and willing to change, we have saved lots of money and are no longer in debt! ( I should say no longer in debt minus the house)
Cooking is not my favorite nor am I good at it and I love to eat out!  However, I knew this wasn't healthy, good on the pocket book nor was it teaching my kids on how to be wise with their money or how to run a house hold.  I pulled up my big girl pants and was willing to do what needed to be done! 
I have saved money and this is without coupons but as soon as my sister in law teaches me how to save money with coupons I will be saving even more money!!!
Challenge yourself to 100.00 per week for groceries!  I know it sounds nut but it can be done.  How bad do you want to go on that vacation?  How bad do you want to start a small business?  How bad do you want to stay at home with your kids or pay off your credit card?  If it is bad enough, well you can do it!
Here is what I do:
1.  Obviously, make a list and plan for only a week!  ( I say obviously, but a few years ago, I never made a list and just bought whatever I wanted and way too much and that is gluttony.  We should only be buying what we really need.  (for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothe them in rags. Proverbs 23:21)

2.  A friend of mine told me a few years ago, how she only shops on the outside aisle and never in the middle.  I buy a few things in the middle aisle but only a few. 
3.  stop buying all that crappy junk food!  I buy snacks but try to stay focused on healthy snacks.  If you have a sweet tooth bake!  Think about it, if you have to bake your cookies you are not going to be eating them everyday because it takes time and work!  It cuts down on cost and your waist line!  ( we are lucky Mark works for a baking company, so when we want store bought doughnuts he can surprise us and bring them home! Also, I try to keep Mark away from grocery shopping too!  He would buy more snacks and less healthy food!!!)
4.  No more boxed food! once I learned what is in all of that, I stay away. If I have to buy something in a box,I try to buy organic.
5.  By cutting down on buying snacks, junk and more than I need, I'm able to buy organic milk, fruit, eggs and cereal.
It's really not hard at all it just takes discipline and work! Stop eating out and  start cooking at home.  Maybe you are reading this and say DA Kim!! If so, you rock!  Unfortunately, evn though I may have known these things, I was off course and thankful for the people God put in my life to help get me back on track! 
 Remember, "Luke 16:10 Anyone who can be trusted in little matters can also be trusted in important matters. But anyone who is dishonest in little matters will be dishonest in important matters." This applies to how and where we spend our money and yes even at the grocery store matters to God!

Is God trying to shut the door and why?

I couldn't agree more with the devotional I read on FB this morning.  The title, "When God Closes the Door."  I don't know about you but that is sometimes really hard to understand at times, let go and follow God's lead  especially when it is something we love doing, been doing for years or when you  KNOW God has placed a dream on your heart but yet he just hasn't opened the door you want to  be opened yet! 

If  you read my blogs, you may or may  not know what I'm passionate about and what dreams God has placed on my heart.  A few years ago, he gave me a glimpse of what he wants me to do, but he knew I only believed in him and he needed me to have a relationship with him.  He didn't just shut the door he slammed it!  I didn't want to give that dream up because I felt like I was failing or quitting. God spoke to me, ( not in a way were I heard his voice! I felt it in my spirit loud and clear and in his word) He told me it wasn't time yet, to wait on him and for me  not to be tempted to push myself out there just to prove to  other people what HE has called me to do. Wait on him and so I am.  (waiting on him doesn't mean I'm just sitting here and doing nothing either! I'm studying, reading, and let God work on me everyday.  So when he calls and says it times, I'm ready! Whatever you are facing, don't stop working on yourself and your relaionship with God.)

But let me tell you, if I didn't listen to him and kept on pushing and pursuing a dream on my time, I would of missed the biggest blessing I could ever ask for and that is homeschooling my kids. I could never of imagined myself doing this and yet God did.   It's not a glamours job and  the world may not know my name but my kids sure do know who their mom is and I definitely know my kids too!

If God is trying to shut a door, especially if it is with something you  love. It doesn't mean it is over.  It just means he has something better for you or he just has to do some work in you first!  Trust God and just keep moving forward! I know that sounds easier than it really is. We have to let go of whatevery one else thinks and get rid of our big ego's! As soon as you do, you will be amazed by what God will bring in your life!   God knows before I can go out and speak his word, He needs to work on me and for me to pay attention to what matters first and that is God,my husband and kids! At the end of the day that is all that really matters...

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Jeremiah 29:11

Monday, March 7, 2011

Are you Nagging your marriage to death?

Have you ever looked at your spouse and could point out a million things wrong with him or her?  You try to point things out or nag him to deaf because you know if he could just let YOU fix HIM the way you want, life would be so much better!  What about when it seems like everyone else around you is driving you nuts!  You see everyone Else's faults and failures, but never take a second to look at yourself.  You think it has to be the everyone else, it couldn't possibly be you!

I have news for you, its called PRIDE!  There was a time in my life when everything and everyone drove me nuts!  I could tell you what was wrong with everyone even our dog, but thought I was doing just fine!  What a JOKE!  I nagged my husband to death and could only focus and only saw the negative.  I couldn't focus on everything awesome he was doing.  There were time I would say to God, I think I made a mistake.  I don't think I was suppose to marry Mark.  I was suppose to marry a man that was more successful, had bigger dreams.  Basically, I was blaming my husband because I was not happy with me. 

Then one day, I was listening to one of my favorite speakers Dani Johnson and what she said smacked me right in my face.  She asked, how would you treat the man of your dreams?  Would you get yourself up in the morning and make yourself look good for him?  Would you cook for him?  Would you ask him how his day was after when he came home from work?  Would you treat him like a King?  All kinds of thoughts entered my head!  She then said, No you wouldn't.  You wouldn't treat him any better than you are treating your husband now. Sooner or later it would get old and you would find something wrong with him too.  Its not about changing him, its about changing you.   The husband you are married to is that man if you would only begin to see him the way God See's him.  If you only knew what God plans for his life.  You need to treat him like the King God has called him to be.

Once I stopped trying to fix everyone else especially my husband and began to focus on me, my life changed and so did my marriage.  We can't fix anyone, we can only love and let God. do the fixing.  We need to love people right where they are in life.  Once you can stop taking everything so personal and realize that we are all hurt and all at different walks in our life, you will begin to be able to love people and accept them for who they are.  (This doesn't mean you will always like everyone or even have to agree with someone.  But I do believe the stronger we build our relationship with God, we begin to see people the way God see's them.)

FYI: The more I nagged Mark the farther apart we became.  Once he started seeing me change and stopped nagging him, he began to open up and let God change him!  God has brought us together now than we ever have been before.  I'm not trying to be his mom or to fix him.  Instead we are best friends walking together hand and hand. 

Pride is a tricky.  You really want to make sure you are asking God to search your heart to make sure pride doesn't sneak in.  Because Pride does come before the fall.  I don't know about you, but I'm tired of falling down!!!  Please know, I don't write these things because I think I'm better than anyone else because I don't.  I only share these things because it is what God placed on my heart.  Trust me, without God I'm a mess and thankful everyday for my savior Jesus Christ because with out him, I'm nothing....

Thursday, March 3, 2011

What does Pride look like and is it killing you?

Pride was one of the major reason that kept me from living the dream God has placed on me on many different levels.  I could never figure out why  certain things kept showing up in my life. Why I couldn't get out of the hole that I was in. It just seemed like it was getting deeper and deeper. Saying you have a dream,  takes more than just waking up and saying I have a dream!  We all have dreams of living a better life but lets face it most of us are not willing to do the work on ourselves.  We would rather complain, blame everyone else, hold grudges or surround ourselves with people who will tell us what we want to hear.  (Those people are telling you what you want to hear because they don't want you to change. They want you to stay the same so they have someone to hang out with!  They don't want you to become better because it will make them feel uncomfortable with themselves. This doesn't just go on in the world, it goes on in the church as well.) 
 Once you realize what Pride is, what it looks like and break free from it, you will see your life change.  God has been working diligently on me these last few years.  It seemed like once one life lesson was learned he had five more waiting in line!  Seriously, I was feeling like I was schizoprhatic at times.  I heard one of my mentors say, "God is trying to refine you, so you won't destroy you."  It is so true! How  awesome is that when you think about it!  He has a huge plan for your life, if you let him do the work on you.  He doesn't want to see you get hurt or burned anymore!

I know many people who have huge dreams and want to do make every second of their life count, but they keep making the same stupid mistakes.  Most of what is holding you back from financial freedom, successful marriage, better relationship with your kids, going after a dream of yours, is PRIDE!

Trust me the reason I can write about this, is because I was very prideful. Just in my every day life there was pride. I cared more about what others thought of me than I did my husband, my kids and most importantly God.  I wanted to be accepted and was looking for approval from man.  (FYI: God already loves you and you are already accepted just the way you are.)  I had to have the latest phone so people thought I was cool, I had to go and spend top dollar on my hair so I could look good,( I couldn't go somewhere and not have my makeup or hair done.  What if someone would see me.  If you want to see if there is any pride in your heart, ask yourself if you could go out in public with no makeup and hair a mess? I think it is important to look good and take care of yourself, but if is to try to impress others, then there is a problem.)  I had to get my nails done, spend money on clothes for the kids and myself that we really didn't need, drive a new car, live in a certain neighbor hood and the list can go on and on.  I wanted others to think I was successful! Yes, Mark made some great money, but it was never enough and we spent more than we had.  Why, because we were caught up in what the world says success looks like!  Maybe we looked like we had it all going on from the outside, but inside was a different story. 

Pride even kept me from stepping out and doing what God has placed on my heart.  What if nobody likes me?  What if I offend someone by what I say?  What if nobody ever buys my book ( BTW the book will be done sooner now than later), what if nobody comes to hear me speak? Take this blog, for an example. If you only knew the head game that went inside my head!  I knew once I starting writing, there would be many people out there laughing and making fun of me!  Guess what, I don't fear man instead I fear God! His opinion is much more important to me than any persons will ever be! So, if you have similar questions going on in your head then you need to ask yourself what and who are you really doing it for? 

I can write on and on about pride, which I will share a few more blogs on in the next couple of weeks.  But if pride is something God is trying to work on you with, just know it is only because he loves you.  The last thing you want to do is get in more debt, or become debt free and get back in debt because you haven't learned the lessons, put in years in your marriage to have your marriage fail,(which BTW marriage takes two. If your spouse isn't willing to work with you and together or your marriage has ended in divorce, just make sure you learn the life lessons so you don't repeat it in your next relationship or pass it down to your children.) or never live with peace, love and joy in your life.  It will take looking at yourself deeper and not caring about the 98% of the population is doing, unless you like being miserable and broke! 

Friday, February 25, 2011

People really can change!!!

For those of you who are praying for change, think someone can't change or praying someone you love comes to know Christ, there is hope!

If you would of told me three years ago, my dad would be in Cambodia talking about Jesus, I would of said you are smoking something!  I could always see my mom doing something like that but not so sure about my dad!  MAYBE going to Cambodia but not the preaching about Jesus!!! (my parents believed in God but didn't know him and we didn't grow up with God as the center of our lives.I'm not talking about religion either.  It doesn't matter what religion you are, what matters is if you believe in Jesus and truly knowing him will change your life forever.)

See, God knows what he is doing and if you don't give up and keep praying and seeking God, he answers prayers. , he will begin to wake you up and begin to pull you closer to him and when he does don't shut your eyes because it will be the most incredible thing that will ever happen to you!  As he begins to tug on your heart, you may even resist and begin to kick and scream because you are afraid of change.  Trust me, don't turn your back.  Listen and begin to walk with God! I  know that freaks people out, but it is the truth!  Just because you have God in your life now, doesn't mean you can't have fun anymore either!! It doesn't mean you will be all weird, like me!!! However, it doesn't mean it will be an easy ride, because when you begin to live for God, all kinds of crazy stuff will enter you head especially doubt, fear and people making fun of you!  (Once you are tired of living to please everyone else and wanting more for your life, those thoughts begin to slowly go away and soon you can tell them to shut up when they try to creep back in your head again.  It is just the enemy trying to stop you from growing closer to God and its your job not to feed them. ) My dad and I have even gotten in some heated arguments these past few years about faith and God but  My mom never gave up on my dad.  I've seen some awesome changes in my dad!  I thank God everyday and  the funny thing is God knows exactly what to do to get our attention and to listen to him.  I guess he knew he had to take my dad across the ocean to a third world country for him to really hear him!!! What ever it takes!  It has not been a dull ride since mark, myself and my parents rededicated our lives to Christ, but it has been worth every single moment. 

My dad has been posting a few comments on his fb page and I can already tell by his post what God is doing in him.  It just blows my mind how awesome God is and I'm just so thankful for all he is doing in my parents especially my dad!  He was no easy nut to crack!

Don't give up on the people you love.  Remember we are all at different walks and stages in our lives.  Give it to God and he will do the work!  If he can change my family he can change anyone!!!

Here is what he posted this afternoon:
Sunny and hot . What i seen today was hard for me to take . Shedding tears and feeling so sad for theses kids . Debbie and I hope we can reach out to other christian churches, Friends and our family to be able to share what we have learn and seen from this trip.

For my friends in Michigan the weather is cold but your kids are sa...fe

Lets pray for the Kids Here in Cambodia

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

When we need to slow things down a bit

Finally, kids are in bed, mark is watching the MSU basketball game and I just finished reading a book called, "Heaven is for Real." It's a great and easy read.  I just picked it up at Target on Sunday and finished it today.

After a really busy two weeks, it was time to pull the plug on all activities and get our life back to normal.  I love doing things with the kids.  I especially love helping my kids develop their God given talents and watch them use them, but it is important that they understand that all outside activities outside the house are privileges and I refuse to let gymnastics, karate, friends and even volunteering at church rule our life. There is nothing wrong with any of those things as long as we the  parents keep our priorities balanced and be able to recognize when life is getting a little out of control.

 In our family it is God, family and then whatever comes next.  If my kids can't get along with each other, do their share in the house and we are to busy to sit down and eat together as a family, then a big red flag goes up.  I understand sometimes we are busier than other days, but its so important to regroup as a family and that is exactly what we did today. 

Normally, the kids have their share to do around the house everyday or they don't go anywhere.  But since the last two weeks were special occasions, things around the house were a little chaotic then normal.  It was a great day to catch up on school, clean the house, kids played with just each other. ( i believe is so important. Kids don't always have to have something going on or be entertained.) I didn't burn dinner and we were able to make homemade ice cream! Marie really enjoyed not having to go anywhere too!  She had fun rolling around the floor and grabbing and wanting everything the kids had out!!!

Some days we mom's have to say NO and regroup our families and ourselves.  If we are ragged and run down then the entire house feels it.  Be careful that your kids outside activities, as much as you love being a part of them, are not running you and your family.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

My Prayer Tonight

Dear God,

Thank you so much for all that you have done in my life not only the good but the ugly to.  Everything that has happened in my life has helped me get where I'm at today and that is with a relationship with you.  God my prayer tonight is that you use mark,the kids and me in anyway you need to bring light to this dark world  and that you will be able to use us to bring more people to know and love you.  I pray that we will do whatever you ask us to do to bring glory to your name.  I know God that there are people that will be reading this blog and might think this is weird or that I have lost my mind because of the love I have for you, but God I hope you can help open their heart and mind to turn to you and not to this world.  I pray that they don't let people and even other Christians  stand in their way to know you that they understand that we are human and we will always make mistakes but not to focus on people but you God.  People will always fail but you are always faithful even in our darkest moments.   I pray that during good and bad times not only do you help mark and I stay focus on you and to continue to grow deeper but you help others know that there is nothing better in this life  than living for you. I pray that people know that living for you is anything but boring.  Its freedom and its so exciting!  It gives life so much more meaning and purpose.  God, I know I have so many prayers and so many things I want to do with my life for you but the one thing that means more to me than whether I speak your word, write a book, go on mission trips, make money, go on vacation, etc., is that my kids will always know your son Jesus Christ and live for him and him alone,  I pray  Mark and I do our job as parents to help them grow their faith.   The one thing  Mark and I  want is when we die and  go to heaven we want our kids to be with us there one day too.  I pray that my family, friends and people you put in our lives will know and love you too because not only do I want them to have heaven on earth today but I also want to spend eternity with them too. Yes, even the people who drive me nuts!  God I pray that whoever is hurting tonight that they ask you into their heart and to know they are not alone.  God I ask that you restore relationships between husbands and wives, parents and kids, families and friends.  I ask all of this in your mighty name Jesus!

God, thank you for loving me enough to give me ears to hear you and for forgiving me and changing me in ways that I will always be grateful.  Amen

John 3:16  For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son for whoever should believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Please God help reveal to me if pride is still in my heart....

  I've been praying and reflecting  its amazing how much pride I use to have in my life.I never really understood what pride meant and to be honest still learning exaclty what it means and looks like. I know from past experiences its something I never want to enter my heart again.  I'm human and make mistakes and its something that can sneak into your heart if you are not careful.  Just because God has set me free from pride and many other things in my life doesn't mean it can't happen again . Its so important for me to keep my head and heart in the Bible and stay focused only on God.
 I know opening up isn't easy  and growing deeper can make you feel very vulnerable.  I know as much as I love learning more about myself the initial part is scary for me still to this day.  I'm afraid that people will see that I'm not good enough, laugh or think less of me.  However, those thoughts are crazy and not true and the enemy wants you to believe them so you stay the same.  When you stay the same you can't help grow God's kingdom and you are then not  a threat to the enemy.  I'm thankful for the people in the past and the people God has placed in my life today that they  love me enough to challenge me to grow but with love, patience and gentleness.

  The next few blogs, I will be sharing with you how I was filled with pride  and what it looked like and how and what God has reveled to me now about pride. When you can humble yourself and ask God to show you his ways, its awesome what will happen in your life.  The Bible says, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." -Proverbs 16:18. 

I would like to share with you what my friend/mentor has shared with me.

Below is a list of just a few rewards we will gain if we have true humility.

~God's rewards for Humility~

We get to have peace when we are humble

God give's us His grace when we are humble *James 4:6

He crowns us with salvation when we humble our self before Him *Psalms 149:4

Our prayers are heard when we are humble

Confidents that we have done our best for HIM when we do things with humility

God honors the humble *Proverbs 15:33, 18:12 Mt 18:4

He sustains the humble *Is 66:2b

Humility brings godly wisdom *Proverbs 11:2 James 3:13

We will depend on Him if we are humble

He shows favor to the humble *Is 66:2b, Ps 25:9

We defeat Satan when we are humble!

False humility is feeling guilt and shame when you have already been forgiven thru repentance. This false humility is pride. Pride says are ways are higher then Gods ways and the cross isn't enough.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

She did not spit on me did she???

In my small group, we are studying a book called "Deadly Emotions."  We are talking about stress, anxiety, anger, patience, etc., Its a great group of ladies and I really enjoy going and learning something new about myself.

Now, I think of myself as a pretty patient person.  Things like traffic, waiting in long lines, my dog chewing a hole in the wall or kids spilling juice on the new carpet, doesn't get me upset.  I really don't let little things bother me.  Now, where you can push my buttons is when it comes to my kids and my husband.  Cross those lines and  hurt my family you could possibly see another side of me! 

Here is how God has such a funny sense of humor.  He wants to see if I really have learned my lessons and listening to him. All this week he has been giving me things to see how I'm going to handle my patience and  to see how I'm going to react and if I'm  really stay focused on him.

I usually go and get that threading done to my eyebrows at the mall.  I've been going there for a while and there is a lady there that does a really nice job.  However, this wasn't the case this weekend.  There was someone new working and everything in me said, Kim don't sit down in that chair come back later." However, I did  not listen.  My eyebrows were so hairy that even my daughters told me it was time to go and get them done!  I said, what the heck and sat down.

First, if you never had this done, it hurts really bad!  If someone that has been doing it for awhile can do it really fast and it doesn't hurt as bad.  This girl was new and it felt like she had tweezers and was plucking each piece of hair one by one.  Did I mentionI have to do my upper lip too!  Can you imagine how bad that hurts.  On top of it taking forever and hurting so bad, I swear she took the thread and wiped her spit all over it and then used that same thread on my face!  I wanted to puke!  All I could feel was wet thread on my eyebrows!  To top it off I went to pay and she put the wrong price in.  It cost 17.00 and she charged me 170.00!  Thankfully, she was able to fix it!  However, when I went home to check my account online it the refund was still  not showing up on my account!  So, I had to sit on hold for 20 minutes until I could speak to an associate! 

All I could do was breath and remind msyefl that I've made many mistakes in the past and getting upset will not make it any better.  However, I will not be going back there again especially if that woman is working!  I may be patient but I'm not dumb!  Really, when you look at the bigger picture, its really not that big of deal and getting upset wouldn't of solved the problem!  Its important to learn how to roll with punches( I think that is the saying).  If I would of gotten angry and lost my cool, how is that being Christ like.  God is patient with us, we need to patient with everyone else.  If you get upset at the small stuff  what are you going to do when something HUGE happens in your life.  Also,  I believe if we know how to handle the small things first, God will bless you with much more! 

For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus. Romans 15:4-5

Saturday, February 5, 2011

My Trip to Gemany. You will never know unless you try!

I was given an incredible opportunity three years ago.  One of my friends/mentors does leadership training.  He was doing an intense  leadership training for the Daimler Financial Top Executives and he asked me to be a part of it!  How could I say no. Yes, I was excited about the opportunity to learn and work with him but I have to admit I was more excited about going to Germany, staying at a five star hotel and flying fist class! 

As excited as I was that dang doubt started entering my head!  Seriously, what the heck did I have to offer?  I was never an executive for a company nor have I worked long at a corporate job for longer than maybe 6 months!  Now, that I'm thinking about it I don't really know if I ever had a corporate job!!!  There was a moment I was eating dinner with the CFO of Daimler and all the executive and the entire time I kept telling myself, "don't open your mouth to talk. If you do, they will know how air headed you are and how much you really don't know." I don't use any big elaborate words, still learning about politics and haven't worked at "real" job in I don't know how long! I knew they really didn't want to hear about diapers, teething, or cartoons!    (If you know me, keeping my mouth shut is not an easy thing to do!)  After all the crazy thoughts that entered my head, it ended being a great experience on many different levels and plus I was asked asked to come back!  I was able to go to Germany not once but twice!

Here are a few lessons I would like to share with you.

*sometimes there will be people put in your life that will see something in you before you ever do.  I thank my friend  for believing in me even when I didn't. ( I'm thankful for the many people who believed in me when I didn't believe in myself!)

*.  Its so important to know you are and whose you are.  God doesn't want you to be anybody else but you!  Stop beating yourself up because you are not like your friend, your boss, your co-worker, your neighbor, etc., He needs you to be you so he can work through you!  Its not about you. It's all about Him.

* Stop trying to be everything to everyone!  We can't do it all and we need to stay focused on the  unique dreams and talents God has given each one of us.  As much as I loved the experience, corporate training really isn't my thing!  Yes, I can do it but my true love is helping women.  Teaching on leadership in the home.  Teaching about relationships, marriage, kids, families, people skills (which not everyone has!!!), communication, money and fear.  When I'm in my zone I come alive and the same is true for you.  There will be things we will have to do that we might not like so we can learn and get to where God wants us, but there are some places we don't belong and that is OK too! 

* Don't let fear stop you. Let God help you figure out where your fear is coming from.  Don't let the enemy get in your head either!  I've come to realize the bigger the dream, the closer you get the more the enemy will try to stop you and it doesn't have to be some big ordeal to stop you either. It can be as little as a little pecking at you telling you how dumb you are, you have nothing to offer, who do you think you are. The enemy will know your weakness and try to stop you.  Its so important you know God and pray through it!  trust me, every time I start taking more steps and moving in the right direction it happens to me every time!  Thankfully, I can recognize and keep moving forward!  I know the only reason its happening is because God has something big planned for my life!

*Enjoy the ride and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself!  If you really knew me and the air headed things that come out of my mouth sometimes or things I do, you would shake your head!  Its me and its fun being me!  If you make a mistake, just get back up and laugh!  It will make you feel better and know you are not alone! 

*who cares about status! -we are all people and we all have baggage and are more alike than we are different. It doesn't matter what job someone has, the house they live in, car they drive or money they make. It doesn't matter what you do but what you do with what you have and who are doing it for.  Its not about who knows your name or how big you are in your company or church!  Its about doing all that God has given you for him and only him!  So, when you are talking with your pastor or CEO of a company, don't look at their name but their heart!  Remember they are more like you than you really know...Just be YOU!

Don't be afraid to try something new-You will never know unless you try! What is the worst that can happen?  If you are doing it for God and end up screwing it up, he will help you make your crooked path straight! 

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