If this blog is intended for men, then I really know to keep it short, to the point and not get all touchy feelly!! This blog is for all my friends, who have asked me to write a blog for husbands.
Husbands, we know what you want! It's SEX and BJ's!!! I know I took it to the next level and added the word BJ in my blog! Let's be real. It's the truth. Sex was not designed to be ashamed of or dirty. The world has taken something so intimate and beautiful and trashed it. It literally has taken what God intended for good and a gift between a married men and women and ran it through the gutter. If I offended you in any way, then this blog is not for you. Also, if your wife cannot give herself fully to you, there is something much deeper going on. You need to build the trust for her to open up and share her feelings with you. I say this with experience. Three years ago, I had a major break through. I was still angry and hurt from decisions and choices Mark made years ago and the junk he brought into our marriage. It wasn't until I fully forgave him did we become one!!!
What does your wife need? Here is a hint, why don't you ask her? Get to know your wife. What does she likes, what doesn't she like, what are her dreams, and her fears? What is she dealing with at this very moment? What turns her on? Maybe it's rubbing her feet or back. Maybe it's a pitch on the butt or a kiss for NO REASON or hidden agenda! You know what I mean, if you are trying to pre-heat the oven you have to do it in a way without the pressure of her dropping her pants that very minute! It takes time. She wants you to Pursue her, delight in her and make her your number one priority ( after God of course)! Don't treat your marriage as it is an obligation. Don't just go through the motions. "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25
If you play fantasy football, I could ask you about anyone of your players and you could tell me their history! I know my husband could. Think about how much time you put into preparing for your draft! For crying out loud, Mark gets magazines sent to the house and he studies it for days if not weeks leading up to the draft! Think about how much time you spend on picking which players to play and then the hours you spend watching the game? If you are not into sports ask yourself, How much time do yo spend on work, working around the house, playing with your kids or time you spend on your ministry? Did you find the time to let your wife know she means something to you? Did you send her a text letting her know you appreciate her, did you buy her something just for no reason at all or did she just get your left overs?
Before God gave Mark and I our ah ha moment, we would fight like crazy. I was not willing to give in and neither was he. I would get so mad because when we would have an opportunity to go out for an evening and he had NO plans and didn't know what to do but yet could put some much time into his sports, my head would seriously spin! Thankfully, that has all changed. Mark knows my favorite date nights are just going to get a cup of coffee and having all his attention. We talk, share, laugh and be part of each other lives. I'm realistic and know this can't happen every night, but there are little things you can do almost every day to remind your wife she is truly your love of your life and do not think saying I love you or babe your the best during a commerical break from your favorite tv prorgam counts!! Find out what her love language is and then do it and be creative please! Don't keep doing the same thing over and over again. We want to feel like there was thought and effort put behind your actions!!!!
Yes, with SEX and BJ's means you have to open up with your wife, take the time to know what SHE wants because we are all different! Yes, men all want the same thing but women are an entire different ballgame and thank God for that!!! Put each other's needs before your own and watch what will happen in your marriage! Don't be afraid to be the one to take the first step...
A little side note, praying and reading the Bible is my ultimate favorite time with Mark. It connects us like nothing else. When we are not doing this, get to busy or get side tracked, it shows in our relationship. It is the glue that will hold you together!!!
The husband should give his wife all that she have as his wife. And the wife should give her husband all that he should have as her husband. The wife does not have power over her own body. And the husband does not have power over his own body. His wife has the power over his body. Do not refuse to give your bodies to each other. But you might both agree to stay away from sexual relations for a time. You might do this so that you can give your time to prayer. Then come to together again. That is so that Satan cannot tempt you in your weakness. I say this to give you permission. It is not a command. 1 Corinthians 7: 3-6