Sunday, November 27, 2011

Are we afraid to open up the closets?

As I was thinking about the messy closet in my basement, or the abyss as we call it, it reminded me of the sin we try to hide in our life. Even though I acted shocked when I opened up the door to find a pile of mess, I've known it's been there. I've just been avoiding it as long as possible.  Our sin is no different. We know it's there but we keep hiding from it, shutting the door hoping never to have face some of the pain or mess we once had in our life.  However, it never goes away and if not dealt with it will eventually show up when we least want it to.

See, if we have dedicated our life to Christ. It is so important to understand and believe that it's because of the shedding of Christ blood that we are forgiven. Nothing more and nothing less. We don't have to clean out our closets alone nor do we have to keep it hidden or the door shut any longer  We must believe what God says. We might not understand it completely but to have faith in him alone. "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

God wants to give us a new heart.  He will deal with our sin on his term and his time, if we allow him too. He will do it with love and not condemnation. It may hurt, be painful and won't be cleaned out over night. Just like our messy closets it takes time to clean out something that has been sitting there for days, months and even years.  You are forgiven! You don't have to do anything but allow him to into your heart. He won't leave  you alone to face your junk  by yourself. He will never leave you nor forsake you.  He didn't save you  to keep you in the mess either. Scripture says, "He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me" psalm 18:11.

He delights in you!  It doens't matter what you did or didn't do or what others say.  As God begins cleaning out your closets, Satan will try to creap in and throw another pile of clothes at you or remind you of something that still looks filthy. Instead of buying into the lies or trying to prove yourself with good conduct or deeds stop there. It t has nothing to do with  you or me or what we can or can't do. Because without christ all of our rags are filthy.  But instead always  answer Satan with  the blood of Christ.  The blood cleanses us from every sin. God looks upon the blood whereby His son has met the charge, and Satan has no more ground of attack. Our faith is the prcecious Blood and our refusal to be moved from that position can alone silence his charges and put him to flight. ( Romans 8:33, 34)

God is so good and I'm so thankful how he has taken my mess to use it to glorify him!  Believe him, open the door and let the cleaning begin! 

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Don't let Satan wreck your Thanksgiving!

Here It is Thanksgiving!  The kids were so excited to wake up and go down to the parade. Now, you think I would learn my lesson and get everything prepared the night before so I wouldn't have to  run around the house just before leaving!  Of course, I haven't. As I was walking downstairs to grab some extra blankets, I opened the door to a room in the basement where I store all the kids clothes that know longer fits them or toys that need to be given away or sold at a garage sale. 

A few months ago, this room was organized and clean. However, we get busy and I would just open the door and throw whatever needed to go in there and hurry up and shut the door.  It know longer looks like it did a few months ago, we now call it the abyss. If we can't find something, there is a good chance it is lost in this room!

(There is two lessons to learn from this, which I will post later.)   Satan loves to try to trip us up and get our mind off the things of God. Here I was getting ready to enjoy the morning with Mark and the kids but instead I found myself getting all stressed out and overwhelmed. I began focusing on what needs to be cleaned and organized. I started feeling my chest getting tight and the  anxiety began kicking in.

I had to take a few minutes pray and this scripture came to my mind. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."- 2 Corinthians 4:18

God is so good! He  had to remind me that the mess will be cleaned sooner or later and probably more later than sooner. It's only temporary but the memories with my kids are eternal. I would rather spend my day celebrating and being thankful than crabby about something that is really no big deal.

This Thanksgiving, as you are preparing for your family to come over or trying to get your husband, the kids and the dish to take over to friends or families house  ready, remember don't stress over what is not temporary don't let the enemy take you away from what is eternal. Being grateful and thankful this Thanksgiving Day! ( If your family drives you crazy as they show up at your door step or as you get ready to leave for their house  just keep reminding yourself of the scripture over, over and over again today!)

Happy Thanksgiving! Many blessing to you and your family!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Why I've decided on passing on the Movie Breaking Dawn.

Since disconnecting from FB, it's amazing how much more productive I've been. I stopped watching TV a few years ago with a few exceptions and only listen to either positive music ( mostly Christian) and Christian speakers. By getting rid of all the extra noise it's incredible to have my creative mind back!(I can't wait to God birth's some of these ideas he is placing on my heart! I just have to stay focus, obedient  and not get ahead of God!)  By limiting to what enters my mind and spirit gives more room for God to speak to me. There is nothing more than I long for is to be in the will and presence of God.

But there have been times I've found myself drifting away.   Sometimes we know what God says and know what we need to do but lack in this area.   I know this past weekend was the craze of the next Twilight movie. ( Serioulsy, since being off FB I forgot all about it until someone at church was talking about seeing the movie! I had know idea it was out! but his leads me to when I made a small decision and how it took me away sliently from the heart of God.)  I will admit I was on this band wagon just a few years ago too even though I knew how important it was to fill my mind up with only things that can move me closer to God's will for my life.

I used the excuse I wanted to read the books and watch the movies  so I could use it to relate to younger girls and older women. I wanted to be able to use the story line to help them learn more about themselves, relationships with others and God.  To help them see it isn't a man who will fill us up only the love of God.  I know there are women of all ages and young girls  who are still longing for this type of intimacy in their relationships. Some are  trying to recreate the emotions they once felt when they were younger and first fell in love becasue maybe their marriage is pretty much dead now. It has lost it's spark. I understand there are women who merely go and wathc these movies for pure entertainment. I will admit I love romance movies! ( The romance movies that move my heart are not the ones anymore made by hollywood. There the love storie made by God. It might sound weird but when you learn how romantic God is it  will blow your mind away. Ladies, if more men and women would listen to God their marriage would be at a whole new level.)  But if we are really honest with ourselves the reason these movies are so successful is becasue we would love nothing more than our fathers ( if we are younger) or husbands to love, admire and protect us the way the characters in the movie do toward Bella. We want the men in our life to fight for us! Because majority of men lack in this area not becasue they don't want to be the men God called them to be but becasue they don't know how, haven't been taught themselves or not allowing God to show up in their life to teach them. They have walls blocking them in every area. ( another talk at another time!)

As I began reading the books a few years ago, couldn't put them down!  I think I went through the entire series in four days.  I felt like about 20 years younger!  I couldn't wait until the movies came out and even dragged Mark to watch Eclipse. 

But the honest truth why I went to see the movies and read the books was because I was feeling so different. I began living a different life style. I didn't want to have the normal conversations I use to have.  God began changing me and the more he did the more alone at times I would feel. The closer I was moving toward Christ the more friends it seemed I was losing. I didn't want them to look at me weird. I knew what God said but at the same time I wanted to be accepted by the world too or at least the few friends I had. I gave in just so I could feel accepted.

 Here God was healing my mind  spirit and but becasue I was looking for validation from others,  I gave in to what I new better in my heart.   Now, I don't think there is anything horrible with the movie or books. I don't think you are going to hell for watching them!  See, God set me free from many areas in my life including sexual bondage.  I know how important it is to God to keep your mind pure.  I didn't need to go and fantazie about other men and wish my husband was like them or recreate some romantic feeling I had when I was younger. God had already recreated our marriage and I didn't need to hide at a movie to go and bring it back to life.

I'm not judging people who love Twighlight!  I know Christians and non christians who are Edward and Jacob fans!!! This is about me, my journey and relationshiop with God.  God reminds me that anyone who makes the choice to follow Christ and not the world will be different. It's not a bad thing either! I know how important it is to live the life God has promised. It's not about me and pleasing myself. In order to live the life God promised we have to be intentional about walk our walk with him. I want to be intentional about everything that comes in my mind and spirit. I want all of God not just part of him. Also, I want to teach my kids how to use wisdom and discrenment about what enters their mind and spirt too. I don't want them following the crowd just so they can fit in.  I want them to be leaders but how can I expect it from them If there mother doesn't have the same standards for herself. The last time we were at the theater, Markus saw a poster of Twighlight. He looked at me and said Mom, this is not a good movie. You need to keep your eyes and heart pure. He was so right. Talk about conviction.

Yes, I could of seen Breaking Dawn.  I don't think its a horrible movie. I didn't go see it becasue of the vampires either!  I decided to not see the movie becasue I don't want to give my daughters a mix messages. The message in these movies is not what I want to teach my daughters. ( this is another discussion at another time too!) I don't want to fill my eyes with sex or find myself lusting over some fictional characters. I want to die to myself and all my selfish desires. I want a heart pure for my husband and my God.

 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Phil 4:8

 I have experienced first hand the goodness of God.  I don't want to pollute my mind with anything that will keep me away from this life God has blessed me with!  I just don't want to know what God says, I want to live the way God says. Keeping your mind pure will only help you experience the fullness of God!

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:22-25

Sunday, November 20, 2011

How can you get your husband to talk and spend more time with you? You might have to speak it in words he can understand! SEX

Talking and spending time is one of my love languages. I believe talking about our day, sharing our feelings and being open and vulnerable with our husband is something wives long for from their husbands.  I know when mark gives me his full attention and is really listening to me, I feel such a deeper connection with him.

We can probably guess what Mark and what most husbands first love language is, yes SEX!  To be honest it's not something that is top on my list as much as I love him. Especially after teaching the kids, driving them everywhere, making dinner and standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes all day! ( our dishwasher has been broken. It should be fixed any day and I can't wait!) It's something I have to be intentional about. We are one and his needs are just important as my needs.

Ladies, if you need your husband to talk, listen and spend time with you. You might have to speak his language(If reading something about sex offends you, then you might not want to read this blog! Meeting each others needs successfully is what makes a marriage thrive. We need more Christians to get this so their marriage can do what it was intended to do. Glorify God!)  If he is anything like my husband when you say the word sex you have his complete attention. I don't care, he could be in the middle of a deep sleep or to tired to put the dishes way, but say the magical three letter word and he will do whatever I ask!

One day we were feeling irritable with each other. We had a busy week. I didn't feel we were communicating like I needed, he wasn't getting sex like he needed and we were not praying together. We pray as a family every night but we really try to pray every night just the two of us. (It's amazing what happens when we open up and honestly talk with God what is on our heart. I feel so close to mark and it makes our day and marriage better.) Thankfully prior to this happening,  God helped me explain what I needed to say in words to mark so he  could relate to!   He helped both of us understand their is an enemy out there that wants nothing more than to brake our marriage up. Marriages don't end in a day. It something that happens gradually and I'm so thankful we can recognize when we are getting off track!

One day I said to him, Sex is important to you and to be honest it's not on the top of my list. But I love you and so it's important to me.  So, spending quality time together is extremely important to me but it doesn't mean sitting on the coach watching football with you. It doesn't mean you read a book and I read a book and go to bed. I need your undivided attention not part of it, not you watching football or Espn and I have a small window to talk during  commericals. I need to feel wanted.  I do not just want to go through the motions of marriage.  I want you to still pursue me.  Send me a quick text during the day or just for know reason touch me, kiss me and let me know that you are still crazy in love with me! Do something just to let me know I was on your mind.   I wasn't sure if he still was getting it. I said, " what if during sex i fell asleep, started yawing or picked up a book and started reading!!!

He looked at me and smiled!  He finally got it!!!

The other day as  we began  feeling irritable with each other, we both realized what was going on. (Years ago, it would of turned into a full blown fight). We prayed together , talked and then I rocked my husbands world!!! Ladies, if your husband is lacking in the communicating part you just might need to speak it in his language. Once he gets it he will give you the attention, time and affection your heat is longing to have.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and like wise to her husband. the wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands' body does not belong to him alone but also his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutal consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.  Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-contorl. -1 Corinthians 7:4-5.

Is it time to get out of the nest?

God has placed this love for helping women on my heart for sometime now!  I wasn't exactly what he wanted me to do.  He spoke clearly to me a few years ago about getting my relationship with mark on the right track. My first responsibility is to my husband and kids.  ( of course God is first!)

God has taught me and continues to teach me. He has helped me to depend on him and nothing else. He reminds me I don't need the approval of anyone else. I'm grateful I have a husband who See's me the way God sees me. He encourage me everyday to conquer those negative thoughts and not let the devil win.( I know we only need the approval from God but I will tell you it really helps when you have people in your life that really know and care for you. They see your gifts and talents and never let you give up!  Life can be hard and we need people to speak life.)

I've began feeling God pushing me out of the nest! Telling me its time to start moving. To focus and believe Him.  I tried to make excuses or even hide behind my kids but he knows where to find us! 

As I began walking out again, speaking and writing. I haven't made all the right moves. What I thought what God was having me do has been changing. Yes, I love helping woman grow and look deeper into their lives but it has increased to standing up for family, marriage and helping parents train their kids not according to the world but to the WORD and to help home school  families.  As I'm learning and realizing as my kids are getting older it's so important to surround ourselves with families who want the same thing. To be honest, it's really hard to find people who want to grow deeper with God, put their families first and do life differently. We need to be intentional with everything we do. The world is giving out a completely different message. God has really showed me how I can be different, bring him Glory, stand up for marriage, family and homeschoolers!  He is shifting my ideas, bringing out what has been in my heart, giving me courage to begin to speak on issues that nobody wants to talk about. This could only of happened as I began moving.

If you are feeling God pushing you out of the nest like me and giving you wings to fly but afraid we will fall, don't worry. You might but on the way down and on the way up God will give you his word, his strength and everything in between to get you back flying in the direction he wants you to go!  Begin flying my friend the world is desperately waiting and needing you!

Get quite and Get moving!

The beginning of June God was trying to speak to me, but I couldn't hear him with all the clutter I was bringing into my life. I wanted to desperately hear from him. However, I was engaging in extra activities in my life that I knew were not necessarily helping me grow spiritually. ( It wasn't anything horrible either. I just was busy with the kids and piling up my schedule with activities that I didn't have to do. I knew I didn't want to get back into the people pleasing business! I've been there and if you are trying to please people you will only be disappointed! I only want to please God! I knew It was time for me to make changes.)

Many of us know or have heard from God and know the call on our life.  We might not know it exactly but we have somewhat of an idea and we want to fulfill it just can't get over the mountain. We are not willing to let go and do what is necessary to hear from God. We don't want to inconvenience ourselves or have to make the changes that we know God wants from us.  I would never change living my life for God. It outweighs living a life for myself any day. But I will fully admit, It doesn't mean it will always be easy!

What do we do when we want to hear from God?  What do we do if we want to know what to do next? How can we deepen our relationship with our Creator?

First, We need  to get the distractions out of our life! This may look like watching less TV or no tv, turning off your radio or change the type of music you are listening to, disconnecting your FB page, maybe you might even have to spend less time volunteering right now in order to get your life straight?  Ask God to help show you how to prioritize your life and remove the clutter.

Second, of course is pray. Spend time with God alone and through out the day talking to him but also listening to him. By removing the distractions in your life helps you focus on what God is saying.

Third, we wait!  Be prepared we might not always get the answer we are looking for. Remember it's not about you and me it's about God. He might not say anything for awhile either. Sometimes that is really hard for me. But I've learned waiting on God and getting quiet doesn't mean do nothing!  There has been seasons in my life that yes God said don't do anything yet but that didn't mean I sit in a room and twiddle my thumbs or moan and groan!   It meant continue doing what he has me doing.  Training my kids and growing my relationship with my husband and with my God. He had me learning more about him and myself  by reading his word, listening to pastors I admire and being open to learning from the people God put in my life. (Sometimes he might place someone that is really hard for us to love or get along with for that matter to teach us a lesson about ourselves!)  Waiting on God doesn't mean do nothing or sit around and complain either! 
Jesus says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."  Matthew 7:7. Nowhere does it say ask, knock and sit around do nothing but complain! 

There is also a time he will tell you to MOVE! We might not be sure exactly what he wants us to do but just walking in faith will help us know what direction he wants us to go. It doesn't mean we might make mistakes and we will be surprised by what God will reveal to us. I don't believe God wants us to be idle with our tongues nor our time. Everything we do should be to his Glory. When we do this we will walk closer to him and to the call on our lives.

What are you waiting for?  Maybe you need to disconnect for awhile so God can help renew your mind and break free from strong holds  or maybe he just want you to believe him and just start moving. Remember, Ask, seek and knock! 

Sunday, November 13, 2011

I want my kids heart to break for what breaks God's. How do we do that in a world that idols materialsim?

Teaching our kids about giving and serving are one of the many seeds we want to plant in our kids hearts. First, it starts at your home, the church and then the community.

What do you do when the world is teaching our kids a completely different message? It's a battle that we have to be willing to fight. The one way is showing by example.   A few years ago, a friend of mine inspired me when I found out  during the harsh winters Michigan experiences she was making lunches and taking them to the homeless all on her own. We don't have to wait for our church to organize an outreach or event to participate in. ( I love my church and outreach ministry is huge! We serve not only the surrounding communities but to the world as well) But I want my kids to know they are the church. They can do anything God places on their hearts and they can make a difference even in their own community!

 Most churches do amazing outreach but there really isn't anything for the kids to do. Yes, they can bring in can foods, help shop for clothes and toys for the people in need. You can talk about it with them and explain why it's so important but there is nothing compared to hands on experience. For them to see the hurt and suffering in the world. I don't believe they are to young for those seeds to be placed in their hearts.

We begin during Thanksgiving and hope this year we will continue this all year long. We started our lunchbox ministries!  There was nothing more that made my heart beam last night as when my kids were sitting at the table making peanut butter sandwiches for the homeless. They never complained. They were so excited and they were talking about how we could get more families to help and how we could reach out to more people, pray, give out bibles  and show them Jesus!  That is success to me!! ( Now, please know we are by no means leave it to Beaver family!  Just a few hours before Mark and I were playing football with the kids and all they did was yell, cry and complain. One wanted to be quarterback, one wanted to tackle the other one fell and cried! You get the picture!!! )

We will go out to the streets of Detroit today to hand out the lunches. I know many people think I'm wrong for taking my kids down there. I don't want them to live in fear.nor do I want them to think they are better than anyone else.  Look, anyone one of us could be on the streets. All it takes is making a few wrong choices.  I want their hearts to break for what breaks God's. Yes, mark and I use discernment and never put our kids in danger.  We want our kids to Love like Jesus and that means to be risky too!

This year think of something you and your family can do to help make a difference. Remember you are the Church!

Friday, November 11, 2011

Say to that stinken Mountain MOVE!

I refuse to go around, by, near or for that matter look at that mountain again.  It just wasn't a mountain I was stuck on it was the entire mountain range. Not only was on stuck and going around and around I think I found myself sleeping on the dang thing. So, how do you begin to not repeating or making the same mistakes over and over again?

I hear so many people saying, "I will never do that, I never want to be like my mom or dad or I'm different I will not make the same mistakes as them, and then they do exactly what they intended never to do.  Why is that?  There are a few reasons but one reason I believe is self awareness. We can teach our kids all day long, do our daily activities around the house and tip toe around our marriage  afraid to rock the boat and discuss real issues hoping our kids will be different, our marriage will bloom and the cycle from the generations before doesn't repeat.  Guess what it does. It ends up slipping in.

If we don't look at our past and understand why we made our choices we made, look at our relationship with God, our parents especially our relationship with our dad and even the friends we surrounded ourselves with it the cycle will repeat whether its consciously or unconscioulsy.  In order to break it you need God to help begin to reveal areas in your life that need healing.  I will testify it is not easy. For many people it's hard to admit anything about their childhood.  It's not saying you don't love your parents or you haven't forgiven them by looking at certain areas in your life. This is not about them its about you and living the promises God has for you.
I don't mean you have to look under a microscope and examine every area in your life. God will show you what you need to let go of and you don't have to share with the world or blog your life screw ups like I do!  I'm just a little different. The reason I do because I hope by me being transparent can set someone else free. It can be just between you and God. Once you do you set yourself free from the curse being handed down to the next generation. 
Self awareness is not easy but I've said it a million times that is why you need God.  It's so much better than being stuck on that mountain peak.  God is saying to you, "Say to this mountain Move from here to there." math 17:20.  Believe it and tell that mountain to move for the last stinken time!

When Feeling inadequate God always reminds me of his grace.

Mark and I have been praying for God to place amazing Godly families in our life.  To bring the right teachers and friends not only for us but for our kids as well.  We want to surround our self with people who just want so much more for their life.  I don't mean more as in bigger house, nicer cars or taking elaborate vacations. ( I'm not saying there is anything wrong with those things, if God wants to bless us with those!  I'm all for it if he decides to do so!  You won't hear me complaining!  Those THINGS are not our focus.)  God is sure bringing those people to us.  Its so refreshing to have people who are like minded, people who can love you enough to push you to grow.

Not only is God putting great families in our life, but he is surrounding me personally with Women who really get me!  ( they are Angels to Mark!  I love Friday's because  I  get together with some of these womean  and we talk, talk and more talk!  They are Angels to Mark because I think there is so much his ears can only take.)  There is just something incredible that happens when a group of women on fire for God get together.   It scares the crap out of the enemy!  Some days after I leave these women, the kids are in bed, mark is sleeping and I'm alone I  find myself feeling inadequate.  Doubt starts to creep in and  I wonder if I'm just screwing my kids up more! Its exactly what the devil wants us to believe. I fall to my knees asking God to help me and all my friends. To bring favor to those ones who are truly walking with you not to glorify us but so we can Glorify you. God I know you are looking for a peculiar person to answer your call. God, I don't know how much more peculiar we can be especially me!  It's not easy going against the world. So many people are just waiting for your people to fail so they can point their fingers and laugh. God help the ones who are stuck and questioning their faith.  God do amazing things so they can see you.

Today, As I  was pouring my heart out to God and praying for my family, friends and  giving him all by doubt, inadequacies and insecurities, He said loud and clear, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV. Get up, clear your tears and do what I've called you to do!  I said, thank you Jesus for always reminding me. You are all we need nothing more and nothing less.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

You Can Laugh all you want to! It's ok with me!

I can't help but laugh at myself and at God.  You may not agree with me but God is funny. He is also wild too!  I  know this because I'm wild at heart!  I use to use it for bad and my own selfish pleasure but now I have learned how to use all that I have to life a life for him!  I don't know about you but I'm having a blast!  Life isn't easy but it sure is not boring anymore!   Even sex with my husband is wild and fun!!!

Anyway, everything I write about is so the opposite of who I use to be. Sure, I had a good additude most of time if you didn't tick me off!  I thought positive expect about my husband and people who would get on my nerves!  I didn't see anything wrong with not being pure even with your thoughts. ( Until God gave me children and boy did I realize I needed to change!)  I never thought I would write about purity for my children, respecting your husband, living God's dream not yours!  The list can go on and on!  I believed in God but it took time for me to know him!  I know God was looking at me and saying its going to take this one a long time!  She is stubborn, hard headed and learns slowly!!! Thankfully, he didn't give up on me. 
Its amazing how he took my heart and changed it so drastically!  If there are sceptics or critiques that read my blog its ok!  I use to be one too!  I know I have friends that think I have lost my mind. It's ok.  Years ago I use to think the same thing about people like me!  I just didn't know any better.  I you think I'm stupid for living my life the way I am or you want to call me names, I can handle it!  Because thankfully, I know who I am in Christ and nothing else matter!

How can you begin to renew your realtionship with your children or spouse?

Before I write anymore blogs, there is something that is on my heart that I need to express.  I know I write all kinds of life lessons on here, but please know they are NEVER to CONDEMN anyone. I know many people who have come to know Christ later in their life and they regret so many choices they have made especially regarding their marriage, parenting and how they mislead their family.  Also, I know Christians who were so caught up with RELIGION and RULES they forgot about the relationship part one with God and the other with their family.  They only talked the talk but didn't walk it and they to hold on to past mistakes and now find their kids far from the heart of God.

If this is you remind yourself about  God's grace. He has forgiven you and given you a new begining.   He has given you a new life and with time I pray you can begin to forgive yourself. 

Renewing your relationship with your kids or spouse may be one of your biggest priorities.  However, they can't get out of their head the old you and all the memories. They have every wall up and refuse to let you get close.  There is Hope.  God can renew the relationship and make your family closer than it ever has before.  It will NOT be EASY and there is a chance they will never let you in.  You need to hold on to hope and God's promises.  Remember they have free will too.  They can either choose to forgive you or not, its really up to them. Here is some simple steps that may help heal the pain and begin to open the door
  • Pray, pray and pray!  You need the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
  • Humble yourself before your spouse or children.  Openly admit to them you screwed up and you are sorry. ( if you are in a physically  or mental abusive relationship, please seek help asap)
  • Let them see the light of Christ working in your life.  Let them know you are not perfect but are working on making things better. Don't just let your words be words but let them see by your actions.
  • Be patient!  Don't expect the first time you talk with them that everything will be like Roses! It will might get worse before it gets better.  There will be many discussion you will need to have. It takes time.
  • Let them express what ever they need to say. Don't be afraid of confrontation. It might hurt but that is why you need to be in prayer and need God and know this is part of the healing process.
  • focus on the good. Don't CONDEMN them. I know many Christians who mess this up. Now that they are a new creation in Christ they begin telling others what is wrong with them or how they are messing things up. This is called Christian Pride. Think about your journey and how long it took you.  You made some stupid mistakes too but Jesus still accepts, love and works on you every day. Love like Jesus
  • They may not be able it from you!  Your relationship with them might get better but they still can't grasp Church or having a realtionhsip with Christ. Pray that God will bring someone in their life they can here it from. Pray God can soften their heart and give them new eyes so they can see the new you!
  • Remember the word is relationship. It takes time, patience's, love and Hope. 
Don't give up as hard as it may be.  I don't have all the answers and don't pretend to have them but I do know it doesn't matter who you are and what age you are hearing your sorry and I love you from your parents never gets old.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Are you buying the Lies?

Stop buying into the lies! The more I read God's word the more I realize all the stuff the world tries to seduce us with. Having you believe there is something wrong with you becasue you aren't living according to the world standards.

One of the lies being fed to us is living YOUR dream. You might be saying wait a minute Kim. You talk about finding your purpose all time and running after it with all your heart. Yes, I do but there is something wrong with the statement above. It involves the words YOUR dream instead of God's dream or purpose.

I've heard people say and agree with to some degree that the biggest tragedy in life is dying with your gifts and talents inside of you. You never tapped into your true potential. See, people often screw that all up. Yes, it is a tragedy becasue God has given us so much and not to use our talents is a slap in his face. But people often forget about God's desire and dreams for their life. Instead we push him aside and want it to be all about me. What's in it for me, is what most people ask themselves. It becomes all about me. My dream, My life and My desires. When we focus on MY dream what ends up happening is we end up sacrificing relationships, family and our own dignity just to please the world.

Yes, we need dreams. Yes, we should be living a life worth living. We should be living a life of purpose. In order to do that we need to die to ourselves. We need to stop asking God what can you do for me. Instead we need to submit to him and ask him What can I do for you. God's design for you life is way bigger than your puny dream could ever be. You won't have to sell yourself short, give into to sin or find yourself empty or alone after acheiving what the world is trying to offer you.

I believe one of the biggest life's tragedy is getting to the end of your life and realize the one you were running from was the who was trying to save you. Accepting Christ in your life is the ultimate goal even if it is when you take your last breath. However, one of the tragedies that even Christians make is dying not living God's perfect design and dream for your life. Don't chase the world's dream find Christ and his perfect will for you. Live God's dream not yours!

Teaching my kids to be pure. Can it be done?

Well, Mark and I are getting ready to start a new season in our life. It's called the teenage years.  We still have at least two more years until those hormones start kicking in but we are getting ready NOW!

We are doing something very different to what the world is teaching young kids today about dating and sex. We are actually teaching our kids about purity and saving yourself for marriage.  Now, I'm sure there are people reading this and laughing at me thinking this will never happen.  I have news for you, we are not buying into that lie either.  I never bought into the terrible two's or horrible three's and I'm not about to buy into my daugher will be disrespectful, rebellious and boy crazy.  Could she yeah there is a chance but not if Mark and I train/teach our kids with LOVE and LIVE by the same standards and show them by example.

I will admit teaching my kids about purity is not something I have any idea about becasue let's face it. I did not live that way. Both Mark and I don't want our kids to make the same mistakes as we did.  We both hate the fact that we never saved ourselves for each other.  I've been reaching out to other families who share the same values and learning from them. I'm reading and doing what ever we can so we can be prepared to lead our kids a completly different way the world is teaching. Is it going to be easy.  HECK NO!  But I believe the only way we will be successful at this is if we have self awareness ourselves. We can't teach something if we don't truly understand why we made the choices we made.  ( let me tell you...God has revealed so much to me these past years and shed the guult, shame and broke me from many strong holds. There will be a book about it and I know God will have it on the best seller list!!!   I know there are more woman feeling the way I did  and marriages struggling. I know what God has taught me can help someone else have a major break through!!!) It goes deeper than just I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes.  If there is no self awareness, goals for your family and are not prepared to tackle some of life's challengs then the world will eat your kids alive!  The world takes no mercy.  We love our kids and our marriage to much to let anyone come and take it away.  We will fight this fight and people can laugh all they want.  How great will it be when my kids save there heart for the one God brings them and they have no regret, heart aches or shame attached to them.  There will never be the question did he or she really want me.

I'm calling on all my friends who want the same for their son's and daughters. We need to come together, support and learn from each other. It won't be easy but with God on our side it can be done!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Is there such thing as Guilt free parenting?

If you are a Christian and homeschooling parent, there tends to be more pressure on us and how we are raising our children. The world is anxiously waiting for either the parent or child to screw up, so they can point there fingers and tell you," I told you so."

For my husband and I, we are always discussing and re-evaluating our life and how we are training our kids and being the model for them. Just when we think we know something, God takes us to a new season in our life. Training your kids into today's world, is not easy. With everything coming at you from TV, video games, music, clothing to the friends your children are exposed to is a full time job alone. I pray all the time and ask God to not let me grow weary. To keep me strong in this race to train and raise kids with Godly character. At times, I can feel like I'm going over board and all alone. I begin to doubt and question myself as mother? Then I let my guard down. But because God is so faithful, just when those ideas begin to pop in my head, he sends me simple reminders. It can be a encouraging word from my husband, my parents or dear friends. It can be a conference or a sermon a church. He even sends me reminders when I turn on the TV briefly and see all the crap that is out there. He whispers to me, "I'm not expecting perfection my dear child. Nobody is perfect, keep learning and growing and being the example you are to my children."

Do I know everything about parenting? Absolutely not! Here are a few things I've learned along the way. Hopefully, it can be a reminder to you, to give yourself grace and remember training your children isn't something that happens overnight.

  • We serve God first. He is the leader of our family and we go to his word and prayer for direction. My kids understand with their heart it's not just mom and dad laying down the rules. It's God. We as parents have the same rules and guidelines to live by as they do.

  • I surround myself and look for guidance from other families that I admire. However, I don't want to be them. I can learn from others but ultimately God has the finally say. Some people might not agree with me and how we train and raise our kids. I'm OK with that because I'm not living to please man only God!

  • I look at my kids heart. They make mistakes all the time they are not perfect, but I know their heart. When they ask for forgiveness and truly mean it, find forgiveness and truly understand the lesson learned, there is peace in my heart.
  • We can't be afraid to discipline with love. As much as you may think they don't, They want discipline in their life. They may test you on it but its our job to follow through, give them structure and not cave in as tough as it may be. 
  • I try really hard to not be so hard on myself if they disobeyed in public when they know better. I would get upset not because of what they did but what others would think of me. I find women in general especially in the church can be very critical. I would get mad at the kids because of my own pride and ego and miss the teaching moment with my child.

  • Its a process and to celebrate the good qualities the kids do and not always the negative. Not saying we don't don't about the negative but to focus more on the positive and be honest with them.

  • God is not in a box. He is alive, wild and in love with them. He has such a bigger plan and purpose for each one of our lives. When we live in obedience to him, to trust him and really know him. It's not just about rules. It's about love and relationship.

Does this mean we don't have areas in our life we need to work on? Just the opposite. It's never ending and we as parents never stop learning. It's an adventure that I love being on. Doesn't mean it's easy and doesn't mean I don't cry or question myself at times. But there isn't anting more I want to see is my kids growing up to love and serve the Lord and not make the same mistakes and there dad and I have made.

Will the guilt go away?  I wish I could tell you yes. But as we grow closer to God, I think you may find the answer is yes.  But don't forget there is an enemy out there that wants to condemn you.   Remember, God doesn't condemn he convicts but with Love.  He  is so good. I'm thankful for his grace and mercy. Remember, God has grace on us. We need to stop beating ourselves up. Yes, we can always improve and get better, but also celebrate where we have came and were we are going. To always give Grace to our kids as well...

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