"You don't care about anybody only youself"

Has someone you loved, respected or trusted called you such hurtful words as ugly,stupid, dumb, fat, old or dare do I say the words slut or bitch.  Has that same person or group of people called you worthless and not deserving of their love or friendship.  Has someone you cared about pretty much spit in your face and turned their back on you leaving you there broken and hopeless?

Did those words leave a scar?  Where you so angry that you retaliated and said the same words back hoping to leave a wound so big in their heart that it never stops bleeding? 

Life and death are in the tongue and there is no doubt that this tongue is a fierce and wicked part of our body.  It can glorify God in one sentence and kill someones spirit in the next. 

The question here is why do we believe those words when someone lashes out at us.  Maybe it doesn't even have to be in anger.  Someone we know or just respect could say a word or two about your character or appearance not realizing what they are saying and not meaning to hurt you, but the one or two words they used left you feeling depressed in someways.  God has been working on you and you know at least for moments here and there what God says about you, how he loves you. You have been set free in so many ways, let go of the hurt, bondage and the strongholds.  You are so thankful on what and who you are becoming in Christ.  But because of a word or two, it has brought you back to that place you never wanted to go. The place where you begin to believe the lies and think maybe I'm just fooling myself.  Maybe those people are right, maybe I'm not born to be anything more than average. 

God revealed to me years ago, that people can only give what they have.  If they are hurt inside then they cannot give you what you are looking for.  Most importantly, the reason those words crush our hearts and we begin  to believe them is because they are saying words that you believe about yourself deep down in your soul.  If you are comfortable in your own skin, if someone calls you fat.  It doesn't bother you.  But if someone calls you worthless or stupid and it tears you up, maybe it's because you think that about yourself and you just don't want to admit it. 

As we grow in Christ and begin to understand who He is and what He has done for you, When you begin to recognize how he delights in you, those thoughts will begin to dissipate.  You may be walking with him for your entire life, but you are still holding on to hurts, bondage and stronghold.  He wants to break you free from them! 

Christ has taught me to look at the heart of man.  To realize if someone has or will hurt me with their words that I don't have to take it nor believe them because I know who I am in Him.  He has broken me free and it hasn't been easy.  To pray for them and ask God to please forgive them because they know not what they do.  To have grace and mercy for them because Christ has given you the very same thing. You will begin to love not only yourself but the one's who hurt you. 

What are the cravings of our heart???

In my humble opinion, one of the aches of our human heart is the longing and wanting to be accepted.  We crave to feel loved, appreciated and forgiven by the people we love and respect.  For some people that craving may be disguised to  look like a stone wall filled with anger and unforgiveness and a lack of feeling.  They act as if they don't care but deep down inside there is a wounded heart wanting to be seen.  We are blinded or in denial if we reject the idea and act as if  someone's opinions never affected you or that we don't care if someone likes us or not. This is where the heart begins to harden. People want to be loved and noticed.   If this was not true, social media would not be so popular. We create a world to see how many friends we can have and how many likes we can get on a comment we post.   We have grown adults having our self worth depending on tangible things that bring only satisfaction for a moment hoping that someone will recognize us.  Realizing that those hungers of being noticed and accepted are still left empty. 

We yearn for someone to see us not for who we are but for who we strive to be.  We want them to see beyond our mistakes.  The beauty and uniqueness that is buried deep in our soul.  You know it's there even if have given up on life or relationships. If someone else could just recognize it for a brief moment than maybe you could come alive again, start over or be the person you dreamed of becoming. Maybe your relatinships could be healed if someone would just rescue you.   Maybe for just a moment if someone just took the time to notice you that empty whole could be filled, even it's just for a season. 

For years, I struggled with wanting the approval of the world.  Chasing after the wind and never being content on who or where I was not realizing I wanted to be rescued.  Still to this day I can find myself creeping back into those chains.  But as soon as they begin to wrap around my ankles, Christ Love convicts me and reminds me,

"Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm and don't submit again to a yoke of slavery." Galatians 5:1

Yes, we all would like to hear nice job, your special or even I love you.  But we can't go searching or expecting it.  Because then our focus becomes on man not on Christ.

"For am I know trying to win the favor of people or God?  or am I still striving to please people?  If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave to Christ."  Galatians 1:10

If we run after Christ and give others out of the Love and approval we have in Him, it will stop us from wanting or longing for others to fill us up.  It takes the focus off of us and on Christ. 

God shows no favoritism.  He loves us all the same.  The question is do you love him?  His heart is craving yours and when you give it to him, trust him and follow him every ounce of your being will be content in Him. 

The journey will not be easy but your appetite will be for only him and no longer the worlds. 

Get out of the Corner "Baby"

Now, I know this is going to show my age, but do you remember the movie "Dirty Dancing."  Well, if you are in your thirties and forties of course you do.  When Baby ( I pretty sure that was her name in the movie) gets thrown in the corner, Patrick Swayze ( I can't remember his name in the movie at this moment) come over and says, "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." He reaches his hand out, she grabs on to it.  He  lifts her up and   begins to display her beauty.

How many times do we allow people to push us down, put us in the corner, call us names or try to mold you into the person they want you to be especially in the Church.  Now, I'm not putting down the church or my church nor blaming it.  We are human and broken people who make mistakes.  I'm know different and I'm sure I've hurt someone along the way of their spiritual journey as well. 

For me, I've been on fire for Jesus for sometime now. I walk with him every single day. This does not mean I don't screw up because I do, but in the seconds or moments He convicts me, loves me, forgives me  and keeps me going.  However, there was a part of me that was slowly dying inside.  Jesus knew this and so did I.  I began to allow people's opinions especially people who love Jesus bring me down.  I've been accused of being prideful, bragging, selfish and so on.  I may be some of those things at times, I will admit it. But these were from people who did not know where I was in my life nor knew me.  They did not know my heart.  Thankfully, my Lord does.  I began to want to hide the beauty that Jesus had done in my life, because of the criticism and judging of others. 

I do not brag in anything I do.  Let's be honest.  I am a screwed up person and left alone my marriage would be failing and my kids would not be who they are today and I would still be lying in all my filth.  You may be reading this and say, "What are you talking about."  Maybe if you looked at my life from the outside and compared it to other people, it wasn't so bad.  Maybe I haven't been addicted to drugs, murdered someone or on the streets."  But when God looked at me and my sin he was disgusted.  I was slowly dying and was stuck in the pit of Hell.  Mark and I were beginning to drown and the only one who saved us from that Hell was Christ.  Just like Patrick Swayze, He reached His hand out, I grabbed on to it with all my might and He lifted me out of the mess I was in, cleaned me up and displays me for all His Glory.  I only boast in Him because without him I am nothing.

No longer am I going to allow fear of people and the opinions of others get in the way of me and Jesus.  No longer am I going to allow someone put me in the corner and make me into something I was not meant to be and neither should you!  You have been made in the image of God.  Christ died for YOU and ME.  He died to take back what was lost.  His is your redeemer.  He has something for you my friend and it's time you rise up, grab on his hand and allow him to lead you in His beautiful dance so the world can see Him in all your beauty. 

Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:31

 

"As for me, may I never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of that cross, my interest in this world has been crucified, and the world's interest in me has also died." Galations 6:14

Can a mom ever take a shower in PEACE?

 It never fails!  Every time I'm in the shower, one if not everyone including my husband needs to have a conversation with me!  I will announce to everyone, I'm taking a shower.  Please let me have at least 15 minutes of PEACE!!!  In the past if  the phone would  ring, Mark would bring the phone to me in while I'm actually in the shower!   REALLY!!! I would have to say, "Please tell who ever is calling, I will call them back!"  or "just don't answer the phone!"  The best one was, when the kids were babies and if they started crying he would bring them in there telling me,"they missed their mom!"  REALLY!!!! Can I please wash my hair and shave my legs alone!!!

Today, was one of those morning!  I sneak in the bathroom to get ready for church and sure enough Marcia barges in with a dilemma!  Now, here dad is in the other room.  But there is nothing like talking to mom when she is behind the shower curtain I guess!!!

She was upset because Marie broke her slimy toy ( I don't know what you call it) that she won at church last night.  Just before she started crying, I wanted to scream GET OUT and SHUT THE DOOR!  Can't this wait until I get out or go find your dad!  Instead I take a deep breath and calmly have this discussion and remind her  about when she was little and how she would do the same thing. How we need to have grace and patients with marie just like we did with her!  She stops and thinks for a second and said you are right mom!  She replied, "Show proper respect for Everyone" 1 Peter 2:17.  Left the bathroom and was happy as can be!

God  reminded me in that moment  of the scripture, Deuteronomy 6:7 "Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."  Also,  I guess that also means when you are in the shower with soap and shampoo all over your body!  

Whenever we get the opportunity and the door is open to share God with our kids we need to take jump all over it, even if it's an inconvenience for us!   I'm thankful that God is always available to us anytime we need him.  I know I have all kinds of questions and take things to God in the middle of the night, early in the morning and even in the car while I'm driving the kids all over the place.  God never says, "I'm busy right now, go ask someone else!"

As Marcia was leaving the bathroom saying her bible verse, I did also remind her that , "God says Respect everyone, so that means to remember to respect mom's time in the shower next time too and Please shut the door!  She giggled, came back and shut the door!