Most kids under the age of 10 years old are full of life. They love their parents, siblings, extenended family, friends and even themselves. There not afraid to dream big and anything is possible in their minds. They are not afraid to ask for anything and it doesn't matter how many times they hear the word No they keep on asking. They are determined and persistant. But then life starts to happen and how things don't always go as plan. They might experience a death in the family maybe a grandparent of even their own parent. They begin to feel abandoned, angry or confused. Maybe a friend, teacher, coach or someone they look up to tells him that he or she is to old to dream or use his or her imagination that those ideas are just fairy tales. Dreams don' t come true. So they take down their posters, ribbions, trophy's or awards they received and pack them away. Instead of foucsing on their gifts and what excites them most they begin to give up. They don't want to take the chance of someone laughing or talking about them. The seed of mediocracy has been planted and and years later they find themselves doing the samething the rest of their friends or family members stuck a a job that is safe and unfulfilling. A girl in middle school gets made fun of becasue she doens't have all the cool clothes and just doesn't fit in, but nobody takes the time to realize that this girl's mom passed away a few years ago. She only has a dad and he is trying his hardest to just make enouch money to put food on the table. The girl is lonely and begins to feel embarrassed about her life, who she is and where she comes from. Little by little these kids begin to feel the pain on how hard life can be. They don't know God, they feel alone and they begin to build a wall and each year that wall gets taller and taller. They are afraid to truly love or to be loved. One day that child wakes us but he or she is know longer a child but 80 years old and getting ready to die. She reflects back on her life thinking about all the time she wasted trying to be strong afraid to let the world see how broken she really was. Afraid that people might really see what she already knew.
She spent years hiding behind her wall and protecting herself with weapons. Her strongest weapon was her tongure. She gossiped, blamed and sometimes killed people with just her words alone. She pointed her finger at everyone accept herself. She hid not only behind her emotional wall but her house, kids, cars, money, clothes, food, shopping and even her weight. She tired to be perfect knowing though smallest thing could set her off. She was a ticking time bomb. Only once did she decides to let her wall come down. She thought if she married she would find happiness and that person whould fullfill her not knowing that she has to love herself first. She soon realized know matter what her husband did it was never good enough. She found herself feeling empty and alone. It didn't matter how many times her husband told her he loved her, there was something missing.
They have children thinking that will help bring her happiness and give her life meaning. One day her child that she dedicated her life to leaves the house and moves away. The child she gave everything to can barely pick up the phone to say I love you. She's bitter, angry and hurt and instead of letting go of the baggage she has been carrying around, finding forgiveness and asking for help, she decides to build the wall even bigger and stronger. She surrounds herself with people who tell her what she wants to hear becasue she knows the truth is something she can't handle. Do you know somoene like this? If we really look can we see ourselves in someway or form? I know I can. We tend to put walls up trying to hide the pain or hurt we have experienced in our life. We think we can fool the world but the only one we are fooling is ourselves. We think if someone sees who we really are they won't love or accept us.
I know this is when people will begin to shut me out, but there is an answer and there is hope out there. If you are hurting and wanting to let go of all the pain, guilt and resement from you life there is an answer. There is someone who can help you tear that wall down piece by piece. There is someone who can show you the way and help you live your life purpose starting today. Its time to let go of all those people who told you a lie that you are worthless. It time to start living your life that you were born to live. Its time to bring back that 10 year old little boy or girl filled with dreams and hope. Its time to know that nobody can hurt you unless you let them hurt you. Its time. The only person who can pull you up is God but only if you let him. We tend to forget about God, but him in a small box and think we have to do this thing called life alone. We think he doens't care about us or becasue you have been let down so many times that you even question if there is a God. I want you to know God is allive. He loves you and there is nothing to big for God to handle. Does he answer prayers? Yes! Does he make miracles happen? Yes! Does it mean he will always? NO. When we are in the middle of our storm and we can't seem to see the sun, know that the only sun you need is the Son of God and his name is Jesus Christ. He is with you as soon as you accept him back into your life. It doesn't mean he will take all your heartache away. God does have a purpose for your life and we may not see it now but one day his purpose will prevail. But what God will give you right now as you are fighting the wind, rain and hail, he will give you the strength to stand and he will hold you so you will not fall again. For those that are working on bringing down our walls, remember its something we have to work on everyday. We must not forget who we were and where we came from becasue when your path crosses someone with a wall,you will be able to recognize yourself and to remember you may be the only light this person has in their life. Don't take it personally when they lash out at you, just remember this is a hurt soul with many wounds. Show them love, compassion and forgivenss so in hopes they will let their wall fall.
-written by Kim Watt I'm jus a mom hoping to help one person at at time If you would like me to speak at your next event, please contact me on FB or send me an email. If you do not want me to tag you, please let me know...
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Anytime someone would quote sciputre, it made me want to puke. If someone told me they were Christian, I would take one look at their life and think you judmental hypocrite. The thought of reading the Bible sent chills down my spine. I thought if I read the Bible it meant I had to be holy. If I read it everyone would think I'm strange or different. I knew I wasnt holy, strange maybe, but not holy. What would my friends and family say? What if people start talking about me? Does any of this hit home or sound familiar? I thought if I read the Bible I would have to say goodbye to fashion, wear long skirts, put my hair in a bun, no makeup and no fun. Those are two "F" words I love...Fashion and Fun! I was going to church on Sunday's but then lived a totaly different life style the other 6 days of the week. I wanted God to work for me instead of me working for God. I coudn't understand why my life was in the situation it was in. The only time I went to God was when I was broken, hurt and lonely. The rest of the time I tried to do it on my own, which by the way my way SUCKED! If you think the way I use to, here is a news flash. Those people you are so concerend about and afraid they might talk about you are talking about you right now! Don't let them hold you back from findng a deeper meaning and purpose for you life. By reading the Bible you will find a blueprint on how to live. You will find all the answers to money, success, marriage, parenting, betrayl, forgiveness, death and even SEX! I had know idea the Bible was so interesting. Its the best book I have ever read and you don't have to be some scholar to pick it up and undestand it. There are Bibles out there that are easy to read. Trust me, I need something that is very easy and have cliff notes to help explain to me what I just read! Having a relaitionship with God and reading his word is not about religion and rules. ( Religion is man made and where ever you find people you will always find mistakes) Once you begin to read the Bible it will shed light on so many questions you have. You know longer will have to go to your friends for approval or advice on marriage. You can take it right to God.( Its is important to have people you can trust to help you on your journey and hold you accoutalbe. Make sure its not someone who wants you to stay the same becasue missery loves company.) Reading the Bible, having God in the center of your life and being a Christian doens't mean you know longer can have fun either or expected to be pefect. . I'm having more fun in my life today than I ever have before and I'm by no means pefect. Today begin to read the Bible. You might be like I use to be, You believe in God but don't really know him. Get to know him he will be the best friend you will ever meet. If you can't do it for yourself at least do it for your kids. Also, Remember, becareful on who you call judmental hyporcrites. It wasn't them it was me. I was judging them not understanding where they were and how far they came. Those same people I have come to love because I'm no different from them.... Written By Kim Watt I'm not a pastor or a minister. I'm just a mom sharing my story hoping to help someone else. If you would like to comment or send me a message, please feel free to do so. Please, if you do not want me to tag you,please let me know or if I can tag you let me know...
When we deicide to go after a dream, I believe everyone starts off with the right intentions. To give their families a better life and to give their life meaning. Going after a dream requires major sacrifice. Whether its time in the gym, studying, giving up bad habits or even hanging out with friends. In the end its almost always worth it, unless you don't have your priorities in order and know what you are not willing to sacrifice. Three years ago, I went after a dream of mine as a motivational speaker. It was a dream I held close to my heart forthe past 14 years. I wanted to help people find their purpose, enjoy everyday life, become better parents and to really focus on what is most important God and family. Last year I had an opportunity to do a PBS special with my mentor World Renown Motivational Speaker Les Brown. There were over 1000 people in the audience and it felt like finally all my hard work was paying off. My dream was finally coming true. However, as I was helping other people and doors were opening for me the one door that I never wanted to close was the realtionship I had with my children. For the past 9 years, I've been a stay at home mom and love every minute. However, as I pursued my dream, I wasn't home like I use to be. When I was home I was focued on building my business. I was with them physically not mentally. I was constantly thinking about the future, what I needed to do next and stressing out! ( I was trying to be in control instead letting God.) I began not living the life I was talking about. I started noticing little by little Makenna pulling away, Markus getting quieter and Marcia rebelling like there was No tomorrow! ( She was out of control but all she was looking for was attention from her mom) I needed to ask myself, who was I doing this for? Was it for God? Was it really for my kids , my husband or was it for my own selfishness? As hard as it was to admit, the aswer was for me. Our kids could care less about having more toys, a bigger house, more cars, etc., They don't care about job promotions, titles, or how much money we make. What they do care about is if we are home to tuck them in at bed and to read them a story. They just want us and nothing else. God gives us an option to trust him or to do it on our own. When we trust him completely we never loose. We always win. We have to learn how to obedient and do what he ask . When he does ask to say yes, not I can't. We have to learn to be patient and realize its not going to happen this minute like we want it to. It will happen on his time. He wants us to continue to dream big, work on ourselves and do what we can with what we have everyday. But he also wants us to learn how to prosper where we are planted. To lead our children, families and communites. To take care of everything he has given us including our house, car and job. To learn how to build healthy relationships and when we take care of the blessings he has given us much more will be given. Just becasue you feel like a door might be closing, God is still working behind the scenes. He has a bigger plan for you life, if you are willing to let him take control, never lose focus on what is most important, and never stop dreaming. I haven't given up on my dream, but my ultimate dream will only be here for a few more years and then they will be living their own life. We have to remember what is most important and that there are seasons and reasons for everything...Taking TIME to raise our kids will not be something in vain. Its what God is calling us to do. The sacrifices we are willing to make today, will come back a hundredfold. Kim Watt
Today, I want to send this note out to apoligioze to anyone if I have ever come across as someone who thinks she has all the answers to life. I know I put quotes on FB, opinons, write on some lessons that I've learned and choices I've made that have changed my life. I want you to know I do not pretend to think I know it all or have it all together. I'm still learning, growing and am in the middle of major life lesson as I write this. The reason I share some of the things on here is not glorify me but to help someone else becasue I truly know what its like to be broke in all areas on my life. I didn't grow up with money. I watched my two parents work very hard to give my brother a better life. There were days my parents had to donate blood in order to get money to put dinner on the table. When Mark and I firt got married we had no money, credit card debt, lived in a trailer, I suffered from major depression, moved in with my parents when I was pregenant, and were on the verge of wanting a divorce. We also have made money and still were broke. On the service we looked like we had it all but I seriously was dying on the inside. I felt worthless, I felt like a failure, I knew I wanted to do more with my life but couldn't get past all the negative self talk. I have lost loves ones, faced rejection and was so afraid of feeling that pain that I was hiding from life. However, I realized that no matter what you do life is going to happen. Life is not going to be easy know matter what. I knew I had choices to make. I knew I couldn't blame anyone else and I had to take resonsiblity for myself and most of all I wanted to be a role model for my children. I didn't just want to talk about facing your fears, going after dreams, getting past hard times I wanted them to see me walk through the fire and come out on top. My life has made a complete turn around but I didn't do it alone. God placed some amazing people in my life to help me see a bigger vision for myself, teach me life lessons and what would ultimately bring me cloer to him. I was extreamly hard headed and God knew this but he also knew what to do in order to get my attention. Wherever you are in your life right now, I want you to know this. God is trying to get your attentin. Also know, whatever mistakes you have made, how many people told you that you were dumb, fat, ugly or no good, how many times you have failed, how much money you have or don't have that you are perfect the way you are and God still loves you. I hurt many people in my life, made some bad decisions and was ashamed of myelf but once I started to work on me, forgive myself and let God do the rest, it has set me free. I hope that if someone is reading this today and is down in the dumps that this gives you hope and can help you on your way of finding the joy and peace in your life that you deserve. You need to say Yes to your life, take a real good look in the mirror, know the journey will not be easy but worth it. Once you know its starts with you first put on your seal belt but know it will be the best ride of your life . Its time for you to start to live the live that God wants you to live...