Wednesday, November 9, 2011

How can you begin to renew your realtionship with your children or spouse?

Before I write anymore blogs, there is something that is on my heart that I need to express.  I know I write all kinds of life lessons on here, but please know they are NEVER to CONDEMN anyone. I know many people who have come to know Christ later in their life and they regret so many choices they have made especially regarding their marriage, parenting and how they mislead their family.  Also, I know Christians who were so caught up with RELIGION and RULES they forgot about the relationship part one with God and the other with their family.  They only talked the talk but didn't walk it and they to hold on to past mistakes and now find their kids far from the heart of God.

If this is you remind yourself about  God's grace. He has forgiven you and given you a new begining.   He has given you a new life and with time I pray you can begin to forgive yourself. 

Renewing your relationship with your kids or spouse may be one of your biggest priorities.  However, they can't get out of their head the old you and all the memories. They have every wall up and refuse to let you get close.  There is Hope.  God can renew the relationship and make your family closer than it ever has before.  It will NOT be EASY and there is a chance they will never let you in.  You need to hold on to hope and God's promises.  Remember they have free will too.  They can either choose to forgive you or not, its really up to them. Here is some simple steps that may help heal the pain and begin to open the door
  • Pray, pray and pray!  You need the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
  • Humble yourself before your spouse or children.  Openly admit to them you screwed up and you are sorry. ( if you are in a physically  or mental abusive relationship, please seek help asap)
  • Let them see the light of Christ working in your life.  Let them know you are not perfect but are working on making things better. Don't just let your words be words but let them see by your actions.
  • Be patient!  Don't expect the first time you talk with them that everything will be like Roses! It will might get worse before it gets better.  There will be many discussion you will need to have. It takes time.
  • Let them express what ever they need to say. Don't be afraid of confrontation. It might hurt but that is why you need to be in prayer and need God and know this is part of the healing process.
  • focus on the good. Don't CONDEMN them. I know many Christians who mess this up. Now that they are a new creation in Christ they begin telling others what is wrong with them or how they are messing things up. This is called Christian Pride. Think about your journey and how long it took you.  You made some stupid mistakes too but Jesus still accepts, love and works on you every day. Love like Jesus
  • They may not be able it from you!  Your relationship with them might get better but they still can't grasp Church or having a realtionhsip with Christ. Pray that God will bring someone in their life they can here it from. Pray God can soften their heart and give them new eyes so they can see the new you!
  • Remember the word is relationship. It takes time, patience's, love and Hope. 
Don't give up as hard as it may be.  I don't have all the answers and don't pretend to have them but I do know it doesn't matter who you are and what age you are hearing your sorry and I love you from your parents never gets old.

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