Monday, March 7, 2011

Are you Nagging your marriage to death?

Have you ever looked at your spouse and could point out a million things wrong with him or her?  You try to point things out or nag him to deaf because you know if he could just let YOU fix HIM the way you want, life would be so much better!  What about when it seems like everyone else around you is driving you nuts!  You see everyone Else's faults and failures, but never take a second to look at yourself.  You think it has to be the everyone else, it couldn't possibly be you!

I have news for you, its called PRIDE!  There was a time in my life when everything and everyone drove me nuts!  I could tell you what was wrong with everyone even our dog, but thought I was doing just fine!  What a JOKE!  I nagged my husband to death and could only focus and only saw the negative.  I couldn't focus on everything awesome he was doing.  There were time I would say to God, I think I made a mistake.  I don't think I was suppose to marry Mark.  I was suppose to marry a man that was more successful, had bigger dreams.  Basically, I was blaming my husband because I was not happy with me. 

Then one day, I was listening to one of my favorite speakers Dani Johnson and what she said smacked me right in my face.  She asked, how would you treat the man of your dreams?  Would you get yourself up in the morning and make yourself look good for him?  Would you cook for him?  Would you ask him how his day was after when he came home from work?  Would you treat him like a King?  All kinds of thoughts entered my head!  She then said, No you wouldn't.  You wouldn't treat him any better than you are treating your husband now. Sooner or later it would get old and you would find something wrong with him too.  Its not about changing him, its about changing you.   The husband you are married to is that man if you would only begin to see him the way God See's him.  If you only knew what God plans for his life.  You need to treat him like the King God has called him to be.

Once I stopped trying to fix everyone else especially my husband and began to focus on me, my life changed and so did my marriage.  We can't fix anyone, we can only love and let God. do the fixing.  We need to love people right where they are in life.  Once you can stop taking everything so personal and realize that we are all hurt and all at different walks in our life, you will begin to be able to love people and accept them for who they are.  (This doesn't mean you will always like everyone or even have to agree with someone.  But I do believe the stronger we build our relationship with God, we begin to see people the way God see's them.)

FYI: The more I nagged Mark the farther apart we became.  Once he started seeing me change and stopped nagging him, he began to open up and let God change him!  God has brought us together now than we ever have been before.  I'm not trying to be his mom or to fix him.  Instead we are best friends walking together hand and hand. 

Pride is a tricky.  You really want to make sure you are asking God to search your heart to make sure pride doesn't sneak in.  Because Pride does come before the fall.  I don't know about you, but I'm tired of falling down!!!  Please know, I don't write these things because I think I'm better than anyone else because I don't.  I only share these things because it is what God placed on my heart.  Trust me, without God I'm a mess and thankful everyday for my savior Jesus Christ because with out him, I'm nothing....


Michelle Cox said...

Very well said, Kim! So easy 2 point out other's faults instead of taking our own personal inventory, huh? I pray that I can do and be the woman God has called me 2 be. With that sacrifice on the altar; God is able to make us new again. It takes continuously giving GOD the old/dead things, to keep His fire inside of us burning!

Michelle Vandepol said...

love this too! God bless :)

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