A few weeks ago, the kids were in bed for the night. Mark was in the front room catching up on the latest sports highlights and enjoying some rest and relaxation, when I came out from my room after studying God’s word balling my eyes out. (I understand if this sounds weird to some people.)
He took one look at me and was thinking, “Oh, no! Here she comes hot mess and all. She’s going to want to have some deep conversation.” He was probably screaming in his head, “Go back to your room. I just want to see who won the game without any interruptions or conversations about changing the world!”
If he was, I didn’t pay any attention! I crawled on his lap, looked into his eyes and told him I was so sorry for not trusting him completely.God opened my eyes to the realization I was not completly trusting my husand or Him ( I will blog later on how I thought I was trusting God but not fully.) Even though we have both forgiven each other for our past, I still had some fear.
I was afraid he might not see in me what God sees in me. We talk all the time about our goals, dreams and plans God has placed on our heart, but what if he is just amusing me and not really see the bigger picture. What if he gives up and we just live a life of mediocracy? What if I help him but he doesn’t help me? This is called selfish and not putting my faith in God.
Maybe your husband has given you every reason not to trust him. Maybe you haven’t forgiven him for choices he has made in his past and you feel like you are stuck in your relationship with God and your marriage. Talk to God and give it all to him. God knows you and your heart. Trust Him and he will help you begin to trust your husband once again.
Mark looked at me as I said, “I was sorry.” Smiled, kissed me and reminded he sees me and knows all the good God has planned for our family. To trust him, the journey God has in store for us and to allow God to do the work not me!