Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Is it Possible to have the words SEX and BUDGET in the Same Sentence?

If you are anything like Mark and I use to be years ago, the words MONEY and BUDGET were fighting words.  The minute those words rang it our years, it was like ding ding the fight it on.  There was nothing clean about our fight either!  It was like watching two heavy weight boxing champions Mike Tyson vs. Evander Holyfield.  The fight was dirty and we took some low blows at each other.    Heck, I’m sure at one point I tried to reach over the table to bite Mark’s ear or maybe even scratch his eyes out! 
Money, like for most married couples, was the cause of the majority of our arguments. If we are really honest with ourselves it wasn’t money that was the problem, it was something much deeper inside both Mark and I.  Now, if you are reading this or have been reading any of my blogs, you might be thinking, “I didn’t know you were so jacked up!” 

The truth is we all are at some point.   However, the majority of people like to pretend and act as if nothing is wrong living a life just going through the motions.  These same people are living a life broke and miserable trying to feed and fill up on empty desires trying to mask what is really going on  in their lives. 
Ok, maybe I just took it to deep for you and now you are thinking not only are you jacked up, have lost your mind and are a freak!!!

Yes, I would agree! But, If crazy, jacked  up or even a freak means being financially free, living a life on purpose,  going after dreams that never seemed possible, raising up Godly children, having a rockin marriage and might I add beign together for  20 years still having some amazing sex, surrounded by  awesome friends, and having joy and peace in my life then I’ll take it!!!
Here is the thing.  Mark and I don’t even get in the ring to box anymore when it comes to money!  We are on the same page working towards the same goals and actually can review and go over our budget in just 10 minutes.  We even added some fun to it too!  I’ll explain just in just in a few more paragraphs.  If you have been following my blog, you know what that means especially if you have a husband like mine! 

Here is the million dollar question how do you get to the place in your marriage where you don’t have to step in the boxing ring in order to create a budget?  Also, how in the world can you add a little spice and fun to it to boot!  I will share just a few lessons we have learned.  The rest I will share in my book as soon as it is finished!   It’s not rocket science! Actually, you already know the answer.   Maybe you just might need a little reminder and support.  It really comes  down to simpify your life.   What I’m share in my blogs is what works in our life.  Maybe what works for us doesn’t work for you and that is ok.  You really need to find and create a plan that will work in your life.  There are some great books you can read for more help on money.  I love Dave Ramsey and Dani Johnson.  You can Google them for more information. 
1.       You have to get real with yourself.  You need to get to the root of where and why you have money problems.  This is really hard because most people would just like to pretend or blame their spouse for their problems.  Mark and I were both to blame and we had to take responsibility for ourselves.
2.       Stop spending and live beneath your means.  Who cares what your neighbor, friend or family member thinks about you!  Most likely they are broke so stop trying to live a life to impress others. If you don’t have the money don’t buy it!

3.      Be grateful for what you have and begin speaking words of life.  Stop going around complaining how broke you are.  The reason you are broke is because of your own stupid choices.  Get up and do something about it like WORK!

4.       Communicate with your spouse.  Take baby steps, create a plan and figure out what your goals are for your marriage. Know the difference between investing and spending.

5.      Set the mood!  We pray together before we sit down to do our budget.  We know we need Him because without him we would still be putting on our boxing gloves.  Also, we put on some old school music on so we can laugh and even love on each other for a little bit before we sit down to do  our budget.  Soon as soon as we are done,   get back to getting our groove on!  Anytime sex is involved, my husband is one happy man! 

Now, number five didn’t happen overnight actually none of it did!   It has been a work in progress and still is to this day!  However, it’s worth all the hard work.  The other day, while driving by myself in the car, I was flipping through the radio stations and heard one of our songs from back in the day.  It was Two Occassions by Baby Face!  I know I’m such a dork!!! So, it reminded me to go home and play it for Mark.   We cranked that song on last night.  The kids were in bed but could hear us in the kitchen.  They knew we were getting ready to do our budget.  They heard the music and came running out and said, “oh here there go again with all their kissing.”  I love it!  They are witnessing their parents coming together being able to talk about money without it becoming  some  long drawn out fight!
If the words money and budget went from a 10 round boxing match where both mark and I would leave with scars from words that would be said to laughing and sex, there is hope for anyone!!!  Life it so short to be angry and always fighting! 

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