Sunday, December 2, 2012

Loneliness is a scary place to be.

Loneliness is a horrible place to be.  Unless, you have gone through it, there is no way to describe the reality of giving up, running away or worse yet ending your own life.  Loneliness can be hidden and most of the time can fool everyone around you.  Loneliness doesn't mean you have no friends, family, success or sit in your room never coming out doors.  Loneliness doesn't mean you don't love Jesus.  Actually, you could be part of a thriving church, serving, showing up on Sunday's worshiping God, surrounded by people who love and know your name and still be lost in Loneliness.

If you are going through a time in your life where there it seems like the light will never shine in your favor again, I hope  this blog will breath at least an ounce of hope back in your soul.  I don't know your story, where you are in your life or what you have experienced. However, when it comes to loneliness  I can relate.  I've experienced it more than once in my life.  It's the enemy's way to keep you from the life God has promised you.There are different levels of Loneliness and some are more serious than others.  For some it may just be a season but for others it has taken it's own identity and controlling the persons life.  For some, it begins to  whisper little negative comments  in your head until it blows up to full blown lies that you truly believe as truth.  The reason I can say make these comments because I have experienced my own personal dark times.  One in particular was shortly after Mark and I were married, I was diagnosed as bipolar.  For years, I was ashamed of the diagnosis, my mistakes and so afraid of what someone might think of me.  I was alone even though I was surrounded by people who truly loved me.  They had no idea the pain I was dealing with on the inside.  I know what it feels like to think you are just a screw up and ending your own life might be the best thing for the people you love. I couldn't stand hurting people by my own actions anymore.  

Looking back on it now, I believe it was a misdiagnosis.  I was definitely depressed but labeling me as bipolar on the first visit and loading me up on tons of medication was not the answer.  However, for me at the time it was.  It was an excuse to not have to look deeper in the mirror at myself.  I used it as a crutch, excuses to drink way to much alcholol, act out of control  and to  get some sort of attention even if it was negative.

But God does not take those dark times and waste them. I learned some of the most powerful lessons  about, others and judgement.  See, I didn't realize at that time, God was beginning to call me in women's ministry.  Going through those times and feeling the pain that the majority of people feel everyday, would help me relate to others.  Don't let someone's life fool you and think their life is perfect and you are just a big looser. Nobody has a perfect life.  Some just know how to dress  it up and disguise their loneliness with money, success, fame or just business.  Some peopole may try to fool you and act like they have it all going on but when they get home and the door is closed, it's a different story.  Even people who are married sometimes don't even know the pain their love one is struggling with.  It's time to reach out to other people.  You just don't know, how God can use you to help just one person who feels like they don't have a friend in the world or how nobody understands.

Whether or not I was bipolar, I don't know.  I do know my parents, mark and I went to church every week.  I prayed. I remember my mom praying so hard.  I truly believe the healing power of Jesus is what healed me.  I don't regret going through what I did.  I made me who I am today.  A lover of Jesus Christ and someone who wants to be used by God to help anyone else that may be suffering today.

Jesus is the only answer. In His own words,  "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one goes to the Father except through me." -John 14:6.  
You may know, believe and have a relationship with Christ but have never truly experience the healing power of God.  My friends, today let it begin the day of giving it all to Christ and walking away from complete loneliness.  It will never be easy but with Christ all things are possible.  It's time for you to be in complete freedom.  It's time to stop believing the lies of loneliness.  There is help, it's up to you to reach out to the people God is placing in your life. 

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