Thursday, December 6, 2012

Do you ever feel like you are Pig Pen from the peanuts cartoon? Dirty and never good enough?

 When I post my blogs and talk about God's love, mercy, grace and forgiveness, It's real.  For those who love and seek Him, He has a special plan for your life.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

 You may not understand what or why He is doing what he is doing in your life, but He is good all the time.   I don't know what his plan is for your life, but for me I know it's Big! He is using me right now in a huge way with the four kids He has given me!
  God does not change.  He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  His promises are not just for your friends, neighbors, co-workers or family members.  They are for you too. However, it's up to you.  Can you give up what you want  and exchange it for what God wants for your life.  Trust me, his plans are much better than what we could ever think of!  Can you give God all of you? Are you willing to keep persevering even during the tough times?  Believe me following Christ will not be easy.

In order to follow Jesus, we have to pick up our own cross and follow him daily.  In order to follow him we have to willing to die to ourselves.  Sitting around and talking about God and the dreams that you believe He has placed on your heart is one thing.  Actually setting out to do it and allowing Him to work in and through you is a completely different story.

It is so hard as much as I trust and love God.  God has called me to be transparent and share my life lessons to other people especially women and kids.  I love encouraging, inspiring, speaking and teaching God's word.  I love how God has used me to speak Life into my kids, husband, family, friends and even strangers I meet on any single day. However, it does't mean it's always easy.  I have been pushed away and laughed at by many people.  So, speaking life to myself, is a completely different story.  The closer I walk toward my calling that little cloud of negativity is hanging right over my head.  I sometimes feel like pig pen from the peanuts cartoon.  Never good enough with some dirty cloud or dust hanging around me.  Except Pig Pen holds on to his blanket, I'm grabbing on to Christ with all my heart, refusing to let the enemy or myself talk me out of what God is leading me to do. There are times I feel like just hiding in my house, closing down my blog and just keeping to myself.  Of course, I can't do that because I would drive my husband and kids bonkers!  Also, the enemy wins.It's not about me and what I feel. It's what I know. It's about him.   I will always question just what if.  It's not worth it.  The risk, the struggles, the negativity and even discouragement you may receive from other people, is not worth giving up on God's call on your life.   " Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 2-4

I ask God, "will these  negative thoughts and feelings  ever go away."  He hasn't given me a clear answer. However, what I do know is this.  It keeps me humble.  It keeps me focused and to rely on God for strength.  It's reminds me it's always about Him and never me.  To wait on Him.

Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.  Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.  But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. -2nd Corinthians 7-10

The thorn or cloud, whatever you want to call it, that likes to creep up over me,is worth it.  Especially, if it keeps me grounded and helps remind me of the pain and struggles people feel everyday.  I haven't gone through half of what many people are or have experienced.  If these moments of doubt and  fear  are what keeps my passion burning to help other people, then that little gray cloud can stay as long as it needs to.

My friends, if you experience any fear, it's not from God.  Don't give up.  You are not alone in this fight! If you need prayer, please let me know.  You can send me an email, post it on my blog or on my facebook page.  I ask if you would pleae keep my family and myself, in your prayers as well! 

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morningPslams 30:5

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