As I write it this, I want to make sure you know I do not think I'm a child expert! I have four kids and my oldest is 10 years old and I know I have a long way to go still and haven't even hit the teenage years yet. I'm not a perfect parent.
What I do know is God is helping me learn more and heal myself so I I don't continue handing down all my baggage on to my kids. Lets face it, if we don't recognize or know why we do what we are doing or why we did what we did in past, we will pass down our insecurities, mistakes and all our "stuff" generation to generation. If you don't want your kids to make the same mistakes as you its time to wake up!
God is helping me raise me kids. I depend on him to show and teach me what I need to teach them. I learn through prayer, his word and other people God has placed in my life. (its so important to be open to learning and be coachable.)
I believe its important to check our kids hearts. Kids are going to disobey, make wrong choices and fight with their siblings. Its our job to help teach our kids and be able to recognize the fruit in their life before it goes sour.
Just recently Mark and I really felt God calling us to a new Church. (It wasn't because we were unhappy with the Church we were at.) My kids at first were not happy with this decision. They told us God didn't tell them! My oldest daughter was having the toughest time. She didn't want to leave because she had friends she loved, she really liked her teachers and was comfortable. The more we talked about it she would flat out tell us she wasn't going to go and she would get very upset.
This was a great teaching moment. We as parents have to recognize these moments and take full advantage of them. We have to learn to walk with our kids and not always be so demanding and not explain why we are doing what we are doing and to also listen to your children's fears and concerns. To share with them your fears too.
Mark and I asked Makenna what was bothering her. After listening it her reasons and sharing our fears with her, we asked her does she really have a heart for God? She told us yes. We asked her, "do you really want to live for Christ." She said yes. We asked her, "do you trust God and trust that he is leading your mom and dad. She said, Yes. If we truly have a heart for God we have to do what he asks us to do even when its uncomfortable, even when its hard and to trust God even when we don't have all the answers. This is part of the journey. When you say no to your parents that shows us you are not trusting and obeying God. It showing us that you only want to give God a small part of your heart and not all of it. You only want to do what you want.
This was a great seed to plant in her heart, because as she grows we know there will be many more choices in her life that God is going to ask her to do and the world. It will be up to her who she is going to listen to. But if we can get to the root of the heart and really recognize what is going on, hopefully she will learn to listen the voice of God and not the enemy. We explained to her by going against her parents is the enemy's way of holding her back from God's promises. When your kids are acting out, try to get to the root of the problem and not let your ego get in the way because they butting heads with you.
We kicked the fears in the butt and faced them head on. Makenna went to the new church and it was a great experience but was the best is the lessons she learned. To trust God, her parents and even when she faces fear you need to keep on walking because the promises God has if far better than sitting in fear and defeat....