Saturday, February 5, 2011

Is there really a such thing as a successful marriage?

Mark and I were asked the question, "What does success look like to you?" I have many different answers to this question, but the one answer that is on my heart this morning is my marriage! Since Valentines is right around the corner, I felt this was a great time to write more about this!  ( I know don't mean to get all sappy nor do I think Mark and I have a perfect marriage, because we don't. ) Mark and I have come a long way since we said, "I do."  I can honestly say  there was a time in our marriage we were only going through the motions.  (You know what I'm talking about doing everything to make the world think  your marriage has it going on but behind closed doors you know the truth and your marriage is a  big fat lie.) There was no real conversation nor was there any desire in my heart to even want to meet any of Mark's needs and vice versa.  We just were not connecting like we use to.  However, that has all changed. I can now say God has given us a successful marriage! However,   It didn't come easy and nothing in life worth living for will ever be easy. If you want a successful marriage it takes God, work, friends who can help you grow, and a will  to do whatever it takes. My pastor said, "success is doing the right thing., over a long period of time even when you don't feel like it."  Love is not a feeling it is a choice.  To have a successful marriage both husband and wife need to be in it for the long hall no matter how hard things get. ( if you are in a toxic relationship, you need to seek help ASAP)

Successful marriage is connecting at a deeper level. When you can share your deepest fears and dreams with each other.  When two people can look at each other and know the gifts and talents that God has given them and help encourage, love and support their spouse to reach their full potential. When you can humble yourself and say I'm sorry.  When a husband can let his wife shine and not be threatened by it and when a wife can serve and treat her man with the greatest respect.  Allowing him to be the head of the house and to look at him for advice and guidance. When a husband can lead his wife and kids spiritually.   When a wife doesn't have to be in control and can give it to her husband.  When two people know their role in a marriage and not abuse it.  When two people can be so different but yet share the same end in mind and can come together and fit just like a puzzle.  Its about being their for the good and bad and not to treat each other like the enemy.  To know your spouse is more than your best friend. 

When I look at Mark, the word love still can't describe what I feel  and think about him.  He is a real man and I'm proud to call him my hubby! People may think he is weak because of the changes he has made or because of his love for God.  Anyone who thinks that I will show you a marriage that is truly not healthy.  Men if you want your wife to love and respect you the way you deserve than you need to look at yourself and really ask if you are you really leading your family the way God is asking you to?   I know there are many women out there that think I'm weird because I want put my husband first ( after God). Ladies, I know it may be hard because maybe your husband isn't the Godly man he can be but someone has to make the first move.  Begin to see and love him the way God sees him and little by little changes will be made.  Keep seeking God and pray, if he can heal my marriage he can do the same for yours.  If you have a man who is seeking God and trying to change and you still can't begin to respect him and put him first ( again after God)  in your life, it is time to take  deeper look at yourself and ask why?  It is so important to help encourage your husband and help him become the leader of your family!  Families  need more men to step up to the plate and be the man that God has called him to be. 
Marriage takes work, putting God first and not afraid to look at ourselves deeper.  When we do that we can love ourselves and each other the say God has told us to do! 

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