Are you buying the Lies?

Stop buying into the lies! The more I read God's word the more I realize all the stuff the world tries to seduce us with. Having you believe there is something wrong with you becasue you aren't living according to the world standards.


One of the lies being fed to us is living YOUR dream. You might be saying wait a minute Kim. You talk about finding your purpose all time and running after it with all your heart. Yes, I do but there is something wrong with the statement above. It involves the words YOUR dream instead of God's dream or purpose.

I've heard people say and agree with to some degree that the biggest tragedy in life is dying with your gifts and talents inside of you. You never tapped into your true potential. See, people often screw that all up. Yes, it is a tragedy becasue God has given us so much and not to use our talents is a slap in his face. But people often forget about God's desire and dreams for their life. Instead we push him aside and want it to be all about me. What's in it for me, is what most people ask themselves. It becomes all about me. My dream, My life and My desires. When we focus on MY dream what ends up happening is we end up sacrificing relationships, family and our own dignity just to please the world.

Yes, we need dreams. Yes, we should be living a life worth living. We should be living a life of purpose. In order to do that we need to die to ourselves. We need to stop asking God what can you do for me. Instead we need to submit to him and ask him What can I do for you. God's design for you life is way bigger than your puny dream could ever be. You won't have to sell yourself short, give into to sin or find yourself empty or alone after acheiving what the world is trying to offer you.

I believe one of the biggest life's tragedy is getting to the end of your life and realize the one you were running from was the who was trying to save you. Accepting Christ in your life is the ultimate goal even if it is when you take your last breath. However, one of the tragedies that even Christians make is dying not living God's perfect design and dream for your life. Don't chase the world's dream find Christ and his perfect will for you. Live God's dream not yours!

Teaching my kids to be pure. Can it be done?

Well, Mark and I are getting ready to start a new season in our life. It's called the teenage years.  We still have at least two more years until those hormones start kicking in but we are getting ready NOW!

We are doing something very different to what the world is teaching young kids today about dating and sex. We are actually teaching our kids about purity and saving yourself for marriage.  Now, I'm sure there are people reading this and laughing at me thinking this will never happen.  I have news for you, we are not buying into that lie either.  I never bought into the terrible two's or horrible three's and I'm not about to buy into my daugher will be disrespectful, rebellious and boy crazy.  Could she yeah there is a chance but not if Mark and I train/teach our kids with LOVE and LIVE by the same standards and show them by example.

I will admit teaching my kids about purity is not something I have any idea about becasue let's face it. I did not live that way. Both Mark and I don't want our kids to make the same mistakes as we did.  We both hate the fact that we never saved ourselves for each other.  I've been reaching out to other families who share the same values and learning from them. I'm reading and doing what ever we can so we can be prepared to lead our kids a completly different way the world is teaching. Is it going to be easy.  HECK NO!  But I believe the only way we will be successful at this is if we have self awareness ourselves. We can't teach something if we don't truly understand why we made the choices we made.  ( let me tell you...God has revealed so much to me these past years and shed the guult, shame and broke me from many strong holds. There will be a book about it and I know God will have it on the best seller list!!!   I know there are more woman feeling the way I did  and marriages struggling. I know what God has taught me can help someone else have a major break through!!!) It goes deeper than just I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes.  If there is no self awareness, goals for your family and are not prepared to tackle some of life's challengs then the world will eat your kids alive!  The world takes no mercy.  We love our kids and our marriage to much to let anyone come and take it away.  We will fight this fight and people can laugh all they want.  How great will it be when my kids save there heart for the one God brings them and they have no regret, heart aches or shame attached to them.  There will never be the question did he or she really want me.

I'm calling on all my friends who want the same for their son's and daughters. We need to come together, support and learn from each other. It won't be easy but with God on our side it can be done!

Is there such thing as Guilt free parenting?

If you are a Christian and homeschooling parent, there tends to be more pressure on us and how we are raising our children. The world is anxiously waiting for either the parent or child to screw up, so they can point there fingers and tell you," I told you so."


For my husband and I, we are always discussing and re-evaluating our life and how we are training our kids and being the model for them. Just when we think we know something, God takes us to a new season in our life. Training your kids into today's world, is not easy. With everything coming at you from TV, video games, music, clothing to the friends your children are exposed to is a full time job alone. I pray all the time and ask God to not let me grow weary. To keep me strong in this race to train and raise kids with Godly character. At times, I can feel like I'm going over board and all alone. I begin to doubt and question myself as mother? Then I let my guard down. But because God is so faithful, just when those ideas begin to pop in my head, he sends me simple reminders. It can be a encouraging word from my husband, my parents or dear friends. It can be a conference or a sermon a church. He even sends me reminders when I turn on the TV briefly and see all the crap that is out there. He whispers to me, "I'm not expecting perfection my dear child. Nobody is perfect, keep learning and growing and being the example you are to my children."

Do I know everything about parenting? Absolutely not! Here are a few things I've learned along the way. Hopefully, it can be a reminder to you, to give yourself grace and remember training your children isn't something that happens overnight.

• We serve God first. He is the leader of our family and we go to his word and prayer for direction. My kids understand with their heart it's not just mom and dad laying down the rules. It's God. We as parents have the same rules and guidelines to live by as they do.

• I surround myself and look for guidance from other families that I admire. However, I don't want to be them. I can learn from others but ultimately God has the finally say. Some people might not agree with me and how we train and raise our kids. I'm OK with that because I'm not living to please man only God!

• I look at my kids heart. They make mistakes all the time they are not perfect, but I know their heart. When they ask for forgiveness and truly mean it, find forgiveness and truly understand the lesson learned, there is peace in my heart.
• We can't be afraid to discipline with love. As much as you may think they don't, They want discipline in their life. They may test you on it but its our job to follow through, give them structure and not cave in as tough as it may be. 
• I try really hard to not be so hard on myself if they disobeyed in public when they know better. I would get upset not because of what they did but what others would think of me. I find women in general especially in the church can be very critical. I would get mad at the kids because of my own pride and ego and miss the teaching moment with my child.

• Its a process and to celebrate the good qualities the kids do and not always the negative. Not saying we don't don't about the negative but to focus more on the positive and be honest with them.

• God is not in a box. He is alive, wild and in love with them. He has such a bigger plan and purpose for each one of our lives. When we live in obedience to him, to trust him and really know him. It's not just about rules. It's about love and relationship.

Does this mean we don't have areas in our life we need to work on? Just the opposite. It's never ending and we as parents never stop learning. It's an adventure that I love being on. Doesn't mean it's easy and doesn't mean I don't cry or question myself at times. But there isn't anting more I want to see is my kids growing up to love and serve the Lord and not make the same mistakes and there dad and I have made.

Will the guilt go away?  I wish I could tell you yes. But as we grow closer to God, I think you may find the answer is yes.  But don't forget there is an enemy out there that wants to condemn you.   Remember, God doesn't condemn he convicts but with Love.  He  is so good. I'm thankful for his grace and mercy. Remember, God has grace on us. We need to stop beating ourselves up. Yes, we can always improve and get better, but also celebrate where we have came and were we are going. To always give Grace to our kids as well...

Dealing with insecurity? You are not alone!

Here I am in Love with God more than I ever have been in my life, studying his word and living for him.  Yet, insecurity still haunts me.  God has helped me overcome many obstacles in my life, set me free from strongholds, made me take a deeper look at myself, healed my marriage, basically changed my life from the inside out.  So, why then do I still struggle with the thoughts of not good enough and afraid of failing God.

As God has been working on me, I felt the calling to women's ministry a few years ago. Though, God told me it wasn't time yet, to keep learning.  Recently, I have been feeling him tugging at my heart telling me its time to start.  I've been using different excuses but he keeps telling me its time to move forward!  I'm so fired up on the calling on my life.  I love learning about God, teaching and sharing Jesus with women.  Even though I may know these things in the deepest part of my heart, the minuet I walk outside my house or in a church,  I feel so unworthy.  I've had the discussion with God many times and maybe you have had the same talk.  Why me?  Why did you make me the way I am?  Why did you make me so different?  At times, I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.  Did you have to give me such a big mouth!  (Thankful he has helped me learn how to use it for Good because for years all it did was get me in trouble!) 

I think he has gotten tired of my baby fits and whining!  The enemy wants us to feed our insecurities because it takes us away from the promises God wants for our life.  God keeps telling me and he is telling you the same if you just listen, he loves us, he delights in us!  He have gifted each one of us for a reason and for his purposes.  I have to keep remembering that and to be thankful the way he made me even if others around me might not like it! He will keep working on me and changing me as he wants to.  Until then God has told me its time to get a move on! 

Here I am!  Despite all doubts and struggles I have I am learning to accept his gifts, the calling on my life and to know its not arrogant or prideful to know who you are in Christ.  God has opened a door to begin a women's group at a local library.  I don't know what his plans are, if it is to teach me humility because nobody showed up this week!  Is it to trust him and just start walking?  Is it to help me focus each week on different topics so I can dive deeper in his word? Is it so I keep giving all my insecurities over to him? I believe yes to all the questions.  I'm not doing this for myself.  I'm doing this to Glorify my God.  Everyone has a beginning and God says if we stay faithful, walk by faith and not by sight and do good with what he has given us then more will come.  My heart is to help other women just like me.

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Taking a Break This Summer!

This has been by far one of my best summer's ever!  The craziest thing is I didn't really do anything!  I took a break from just about everything!  Well, except for taking care of my family!  I didn't have the kids signed up in a million activities.  Markus and Marcia did their usual Karate with mark and Makenna continues to do gymnastics of course!  We did fun activities around the house.  The kids had . their friends over and had many sleep overs and we even made a trip to cedar point.  I was able to connect with a few friends, though not  as many as I would of liked to have seen.  There are still some people I tried to make plans with but becasue of everyone's schedule it just hasn't worked out yet! 

In one sense I was busy this summer with every day living with four kids, but this type of "busy" is what I love!  What I took a break from was all the other unnecessary things I didn't have to do or the time I was spending on FB!  My mind was begining to fill up with clutter.  I was getting irritable and not spending the time with God that I really wanted to be spending.  It was time to disconnect and get quite, which is not an easy task for me.  I really felt God wanting me to do this again.  I needed a clear mind to hear from Him.

If you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, trying to find out what decision to make, kids are driving you crazy or your marriage needs help, try taking sometime for yourself.  There has to be a few things in your schedule that you don't have to do.  I didn't have to ck FB every morning, evening and sometimes a few times during the day!  You want to talk about cluttering your mind!  Why do we really need to know what time someone is using the bathroom or going to the store?  Don't get me wrong, I like FB and connecting with friends but at this point in my life I wanted to hear what God was saying more than the 200 friends were thinking and most of them I don't really even know! 

God took these past few weeks and came through once again.  Every time there is a lesson learned don't get to comfortable because he isn't done with you yet!  There are more coming your way.  I learned what Love truly means. I learned on what it means to wait on God and he taught me in the funniest ways too!  He helped me to understand how much he loves me and how to give myself grace.  It's ok to mess up!  He is teaching me to let Him do the work and not me.  All I have to do is follow and do what he is asking me to do.  I can't wait to write about all the lessons he has taught me and hopefully through my mess, it will bless you!  If you feel like your head is going to pop at any given moment or you just would like to have five minutes to yourself or to be even to use the bathroom alone, take those as signs.  Its time to take a breather and break from all the unnecessary appointments in your life or even from FB and hear from God!  I am so excited on what he is doing in me and through me and that could only happen when we take time and listen.

Is it really hard being baby number 4?

Marie is turning 11 months on the 30th and her first birthday is just around the corner.  However, I haven't a clue on what we are going to do for her.  It's funny how things change from the first child to the fourth!  I remember having Makenna's first birthday and had it planned a few months ahead of time or at least I had an idea of what I wanted to do. I think we invited everyone we knew!!  Then as we had Markus and Marcia the parties became smaller and smaller! 

Sometimes I feel like Marie and sometimes Marcia gets the short end of the stick.  Especially Marie.  I've only taken her once to get her pictures taken since she was born.  Makenna and Markus had their pictures taken every 3 months and even marcia had her pictures taken a few times too!  Marie has gotten more hand me downs than any of the other kids, barely any new toys (who needs toys when there is remote controls, pots and pans and cupboard doors!) The video camera doesn't get turned on as much but who as time because we are on the go Marie spent her first year in her car seat!  ( not so much but it did seem like it at times) and the pictures we have taken are still sitting in the camera waiting to get printed.  Makenna and Markus have tons of scrapbooks and baby books and Marie only has her name printed on the front of the book.

But with saying all that, I also look at all the love she recieves.  She has two sisters and a brother that loves her more than life itself.  Mark and I are in such a better place mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  We are not so high strung like we were when Makenna was little and our marriage has been restored like I can't explain.  God is the center of our life and our vision for our family is even larger than it was 10 years ago when Makenna was born.  I've chilled out in so many ways and learned so many life lessons and because of that Marie benefits from it greatly ( so do the other kids)  .  We love Marie as much as we love all the other kids and couldn't imagine our life without here.

Actually, I don't really think she has missed out being number four.  She receives  so much love and at the end of the day  "stuff" really doesn't matter.  Yes, she doesn't have her own room and when she gets married one day and we want to put a collage of pictures together of her life, I might have to borrow pictures from my friends or find pictures of the kids and tell her it is her ( thank goodness they all look alike) and she can tease Mark and I and say how she never had as much as her big brother and sisters.  But if mark and I do our job as parents she will know that things aren't important and she will know without a doubt how much God,Mark and I love her with ever bit of our heart....It all depends on how you look at life.  Being number four isn't has bad as it looks even if she doesn't get the party of the year!!!

The experience with ear piercing!

Today, was a big day in the Watt family!  Makenna and Marcia decided to get their ear's pierced.  Mark and I made the decision when they were born to wait until they were old enough to take care of their ear's by themselves.  Also, we wanted them to remember the day and have it be a special memory.  We wanted it to  be their choice.  The age we decided on was 7.  Makenna wanted nothing to do it with it but Marcia has been waiting patiently.  She would of had them pierced at 3 years old!  Finally, Makenna said she wanted them pierced but only with Marcia.  So, we decided to let them both do this together! It was hilarious.

First, Markus hates the sight of blood and the thought of needles makes him go nuts! You would of though it was him that was getting his ear's pierced!  He thought there would be blood after they shoot his sisters  ear's with the piercing gun.  He was screaming in the back ground, "I can't look!  It's going to hurt!  I don't want to see blood!  You would have to be there, because we were laughing so hard. 

Makenna would not go first she started having second thoughts, so Marcia hopped up on the chair and said I'm ready lets do this!  As the lady was getting ready to pierce her ear she did an in to out block! ( I  think that is what you call it) Her karate instructors would of been so proud!  She said, "WAIT" I have to talk to my mom.  She whispers in my ear, "you did this when you were a kid, right?"  I said, "Yes." She said, Ok, I'm ready!"  After it  was all over with and she saw how cute she looks with the earrings, she said, "I'm ready to this again!"  (BTW, we were at the mall and marcia was wearing her bathing suit and her matching skirt and tennis shoes! so cute!)

Makenna was a different story.  She said her stomach was hurting and was so nervous.  She decided to do it and held my hand so tight!  After, she said it wasn't that bad!!

It was a big day for the girls but a bigger day for Mark and I.  As we looked at them and just admired how beautiful our daughters  ( markus is a handsome boy too!) are and  how grown up they look with their sparkle in their ears, we realized not only will they never forget this moment and neither will we.  I think I saw a little tear in Mark's eye's.  We both know and see our first baby girl getting ready to enter a new chapter of her life.  Our kids are growing up and mark and are growing with them.  It's a beautiful thing, but man it can just tug at your heart because it just goes by so fast....

Taking some time and reflecting on the past 13 years of my marriage and father's day.  It amazes me how time really does go by so fast.  I look at my 4 kids and see them growing up right before my eyes. Yes, it is very exciting but at the sametime I want to scream and cry because it seems like it was yesterday that I was the little girl asking my dad on Saturday nights to go bike riding up to the coney island to see my mom at work!  It seems like yesterday my mom tucking my brother and I in at night and giving me those mom talks that have continued into my adult life!  It seems like yesterday, it was my dad teaching me how to bounce a basketball and now it's my husband teaching our kids.  Life hasn't been easy but I'm so thankful for everything in my life.  You would think after homeschooling the kids and being with them all day everyday that I would be so excited to have them grow up and get out of the house, but it's actually the oppostie. I know how fast life goes by and I never want to grow weary or loose focus on what life is truly about.  I have an amazing dad and husband that loves me so much, but who I reall need to thank is my heavly father because it is him who  has given me so much life especially when I didn't deserve it.  He has loved me and continues to love me and helps me grow to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.  Even when I didn't realize he was next to me, he still loved me.Thank you for changing me .Thank you for every minute of my life, for the family and friends you have blessed me with, for the good and hard times becasue in those desparte times is where I have always found you.  Thank you God for all amazing blessings you have given me. Sometimes, I may forget and get stressed out over something very trivial but you always remind me what life is all about.