Over the years, I've had many women, mainly moms, say the following things to me:
1. Do you ever get stressed out, especially since you homeschool and now have four kids?
2. You must be so patient because I could never do what you do.
3. Must be nice to have a perfect life.
4. If you homeschool your kids, you must be really smart!
5. How do you do it?
First of all, those questions or comments are not true. To be honest, it makes me laugh inside, and sometimes, right in someone’s face!! Remember, I’ve been married for 15 years, and I homeschool 4 kids!! To be honest, having a healthy marriage takes work. In my opinion, it is much harder being a wife than it is being a mother, which is another topic all together.
There are times I get stressed out and lose my cool. My life is not perfect. I’m definitely not some super smart person. However, I love God and my family. This is the fuel that keeps me going. I know my role in this family is to support my husband, and to guide and train our children to find their purpose and live it out loud. Knowing this keeps me focused and excited, and I try not to focus on the things we can’t control. I can list all kinds of things I can’t do, but why spend time focusing on those things when, really, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me? (Phil 4:13).
Here are a few reminders on how to have a “successful” life. It is simple, but not easy. I realize you may already know the answers. Maybe you just need a little reminder. These are just a few examples on how I live my life.
1. I put God first, and I've learned that His voice is all that matters. When I follow Him, everything else falls in place. When I begin to feel a little stressed, I realize I’m depending on my strength and not on God.
2. I work on myself, learning new skills, and I surround myself with the right kind of people.
3. I keep my mindset in check: what you think and speak about is what you create in your life. This doesn’t mean you won’t have hard times. However, you can’t let your circumstances control you.
4. I focus on the moment while keeping the bigger picture in mind.
5. I keep my priorities straight, and I know what my purpose and plans are as a daughter of God, a wife, and a mother. And I am able to say NO!
The bottom line is this: if you have been given the gift of motherhood, it’s the biggest blessing you could ever receive. I know we say this, but at times it can get lost if we don’t realize that what we do every single day when nobody is looking matters. One day, all your hard work will pay off. If you keep your eyes and heart open, you will see it already has. The biggest blessing for me is watching my children fall in love with Christ, and not be ashamed of their faith. Seeing them want to worship Jesus in everything they do, not because of what I say, but because they know Him and have developed their own relationship with Him.
Maybe you don't believe in God. There are so many other examples that could apply to you. How about when your kids wake up, or kiss you goodnight, and say they love you? When your kids make the right choice, without you being with them? When you see them reach their dreams, or have a healthy marriage because of your influence in their life? Or when you experience the birth of your grandchildren? The list can go on and on.
Yes, the world wants you to think you don’t matter and that you are missing out on something when you choose to put family first. I’m not saying you can’t have dreams, or want to do more with your life. I will tell you this--there isn’t much more that you can ask for than being a mom. This season in life will go fast. It is over before we know it. Trust me, the laundry, noise, constant reminders, disciplining, driving, whatever it may be, you will miss.
If you find that you are not enjoying being a mom, or you are extremely stressed out, reach out to someone and ask for help. Don’t just go through the motions. Learn how to become the mom you have always wanted to be.