SEX, SEX and more SEX!!!!

I'm just going to get right to the point and make this blog short! Ladies, if you want your marriage to be THRIEVING, PASSIONATE and ON FIRE then there is one very important  lesson to learn. Yes, you already know the answer!  We have to give it to our men!!!  Christian women especially need to get this!  Why do we walk around afraid to talk about sex or think we can't have an exciting sex life because we love Jesus?  Hello, that is why we should have it going on because of Jesus!!!  God designed SEX for you and your hubby!!!  It is a gift and when you give it to him trust me he will do whatever you want!!! ( This last comment about giving it to him because he will do whatever you want is just in fun.  Our husbands are not puppets.   It is very important to make sure you are not using sex to control and manipulate your man. It is very dangerous and will lead to an unhealthy marriage.) 

The other day I had a busy day with the kids.  Mark worked all day and when he walked in the door, I could tell what he had on his mind, which is on his mind all the time.  I'm sure your husband is the same way.  He could  be sound asleep and I  accidentally touch him and he is wide awake wanting to get his groove on!!! Anyway, I gave him what he needed  and he gave me what I needed.  He cooked dinner and helped clean up!!! 

The bible says, Ask and it will be given, Seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be open.  Yes, these are all actions words. He wants us to do something for HIM.  The most important is putting God first and seeking him with all our hearts. Plus,   He also wants us to ask our husbands what they need, seek him and knock his socks off!!!  Husbands, you can apply this to your wife as well.  If she is like me, sex is not her first priority.  If you ask her what she wants and give it to her, seek her with all your heart ( putting God first), you again will get your socks knocked off!!!!

When you have it going on in your marriage, it's a beautiful witness of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  The Bible also says in Luke 6:38 give and it will be given to you. I love giving and help others but should we not be applying this  to our marriage as well! When the foundation is strong in our families  it will pour out in the rest of our  lives!!! 

The first pages of my book have been written!!!

Well,  the book has officially began!!! The hardest part was for me to actually sit down and organize my thoughts!  To figure out how many pages this book will have, how many chapters and the titles.  I'm sure someone could do a much better job than what I just did, but it's a start! Organization is not part of my vocabulary!   This was extremely hard for me.  Someone who is gifted in this area probably would look at how I organized myself and have a panic attack!!!   After getting the outline somewhat organized, I wrote my first three pages!!!  Now, I am depending on God to lead me and give me the words He wants me to write.  I know as I write this, he will bring someone in my life who will be able to edit the finish project.  He will bring someone in my life who will be able to take what I will have and make it better! I know He will bring someone who will help me create a catchy book title and cool looking book cover.  In order for any of those things to happen, I need to be prepared.  In order to be prepared, I need to do my part   He can't help me or bring these people in my life, if I keep in in my head wishing and dreaming.  It's time to make it a reality! 

I'm thrilled! Every night, I will be committed to write at least three-four pages.  Before I know it, the manuscript will be completed.  ( I don't know if this is what you call it but it sounded good to me!!!)   This is just the beginning of many more books in my future!  All I can say to encourage someone is  just do something that makes your spirit come alive and honors God!  God has so much more he wants from you but He can't do anything, if you don't get out there and try!  It doesn't matter what age you are.  If you are breathing, He still has a plan for your life!!!

Looking at life through the eyes of your children!

I'm not crazy about being cold!  I'm not a fan of cold weather or in the summer time a cold pool!  It can be 90 degrees outside and if the water doesn't feel like bath water, someone needs to push me in because I am a wimp!

Here we are January 1st, snow on the ground and four anxious kids and one excited husband ready to go sledding!  At first the thought off  having Mark take the kids and leaving me home alone to relax sounded like heaven!  I was trying to think of an excuse from having to bundle up and add layer upon layer of clothing before hitting the big hill or even just to step outside! It was freezing today!  Then I looked at my kids eyes especially the baby.  This would of been her first time experiencing sledding and really playing in the snow.  It didn't snow last year and now she is at the age where she will enjoy all the fun.  She was thrilled to put on her snow pants, gloves and hat! So,  I decided to get dress and not pass up the opportunity experiencing  sledding with Marie and the kids.  The kids couldn't wait to see what Marie's expressions would be like as she rolled around in the snow and fly down the hill.

As I pulled Marie around on the sled, climbed up the hill and went down the hill several times, God reminds me never get weary of looking at life through the eyes of my children.  To experience all the moments with Mark and the kids as if it is the first time.  The running noses, walking through the snow and watching Marie fall a million times, picking her up and falling again, the laughing, screaming as we all came down the hill,  watching the kids teach  Marie how to sled,  the crying at the end on how frozen their toes were and finger tips, I would of missed if  all if I decided to just stay home. 

2012 was an amazing year and I plan on 2013 being even better.  It starts with being present with the ones' you love most, looking at life through the eyes of your child and remembering these moments don't last forever.   I want to take it all it because this is what life is about! 

Happy New Year!!!

Are New Year's Resolutions a Waste of Time?

New Years is a great time to reflect on the year and look forward to the coming years! However, I've learned not to say things that I just know I'm not going to do or quit right before starting leaving me feeling like a big loser. Goals and plans are important don't get me wrong.  They are necessary or we will just find ourselves drifting not growing allowing the world to just suck us in.  They are important to set boundaries, focus, how to spend our time and to keep your eye on what is important.  Life is to short not to be purposeful in everything we do. 

There have been so many years I would make list and be so excited I what I was going to accomplish.  However, within just a few months I found myself quiting and feeling like I was never going to accomplish anything.

The problem wasn't in the goals or the plans.  The problem was within me.  It doesn't matter how hard we try, push or strive we will never get to where we want until the change take place in the heart.  All these self help books talk about what we can or need to do.  They focus on  making  you believe it's all about you .  It will motivate you for a few moments and help you to some degree  but eventually  bring you back right back to square one. I'm not totally against self-help books, because they did help me. I'm all for personal developement.  However, there just is so much missing in these  type of books and can lead people in the wrong direction.  It's important to understand ,when we try to make things happen on our own we will always fall short somewhere in life.    Maybe we will get the job promotion but then the family will sacrifice, maybe we will make more money but in doing so our marriage gets neglected.  Maybe more people know our name, but we've missed out in our kid's dance recital, soccer games, helping with school work or missing family dinner.  When we try to make thingshappen anxiety, worry, fear, and stress are just a few emotions we will experience. I know many people who  run after the goals not taking time to take look within themselves and after reaching what they believe would bring them success and happiness left them miserable.


 Once we realize the real goal should be in our heart  allowing God to take your hand you will never loose.  Yes, it will not be easy but when God is leading you and placing in your heart what He wants you to  do, the people you love the most will never miss out!  God is organized.  He will not have you scattered all over the place leaving you feel like a big fat loser with an  elephant on your chest.

For 2013 yes have goals and plans but make sure you lay them at the feet of Christ and don't just be focused on the outer appearance.  The goals and plans will only work when you allow your heart to be changed first!

Some personal thoughts and prayer

One of my struggles in life is that I will get ahead of God.  I want Him to direct my steps, open the doors and lead me where He wants me to go not me forcing it or jumping to soon. I never want it to be about me only Glorifying Him.   My  other concern is not going when God has already told me what He wants me to do.  Allowing fear to stop me or using my kids as an excuse to hide.  I'm really good at hiding.  I'll step out but then run back trying to find some reason why it's not time or why it can't be me. What if God is telling me to go and I'm allowing the fears to speak louder than God.  I don't expect the journey to be easy.  I'm past the feel good in the moment and flying off my emotions.  I know what I'm gifted at and love what God has allowed me to do this far.  I love being a wife and mother.  I love what God has done in me and through me with my family.   I so love love helping, teaching and encouraging other women.  It is what I was born to do.  However, God is doing amazing things in our kids.  Wathing them live out their God given dreams brings us more joy than living mine!!! If God wants me to wait, I can.   Why then do I keep allowing fear to stop me or do I keep questioning God is it the right time?  Will God be so mad if I step out and try realizing the timing was too soon?  I don't think so.  I know he will redirect my path.  I also know in my heart he knows if I don't speak, write and teach part of my spirt will die.  He has began to open the doors again.  If my second ministry takes more time away from my family, I know God will show me. He  I've learned those lessons.  He has brough amazing women in my life and working towards something that only God could of put together.  Why still all  the doubt? 

Yesterday as I was spending time with God, he laid this scripture on my heart. I've read this before and it never had the meaning it did for me as it did  this moment in my life.  It is in the book of Luke when Elizabeth is speaking to Mary.  This verse just spoke to me at the moment I needed it most. " She who has believed is blessed because what was spoken to her by the Lord will be fulfilled!"  Luke 1:46  It gave me so much peace in my heart about many things that have been on my mind. 

I know when I try to figure things out, I'm not trusting in the Lord.  It will be on his time.  I just need to continue doing what He wants me to do at this moment in my life.  His plans are much bigger and better than my plans.  It doesn't have to happen overnight and it won't.  One of my prayers is that I'm not just a speaker/teacher.  There are so many false teachers out there or people who mean well but are not truly living what they teach in their life.  I pray my life,marriage and my kids will be the fruit and reflection of what God has taught us.    God is not looking for perfection and this I know.  He just wants a heart that loves him and have the faith to do the work he has called you and me to do. 

If you struggle like I do, I pray that you hear the voice of God.  You trust him and allow Him to direct your steps.  I pray that you are not afraid to step out and do what it is our Lord is calling you to do.  It will not be easy but with God all things are possible.  I believe God and I believe what he has called me to do.  It will be fulfilled.  It is being fulfilled as we speak.  It might not be in front of millions of people right now but it's in front of the most important people in my life.  My husband and kids.

I do ask if you are my friend to please pray for me. I've began writing my first book.  I don't know anything about publishing or editing, but I know God does.  I'm doing my part, being prepared and know God will show me the next step after it has been written.    I also ask for prayers for help with my website.  I was able to get my site back but mark and I don't have any idea what to do next! 

I also ask you pray for me because there is a speaker and writing workshop I want to go to with proverbs 31 ministry. Please pray God will open the door financially for me to go.   I'm having the same feelings I had when I went to my first speaker training six years ago.  When I stepped out in faith, it was a life changing experience.  God spoke life into me when I had lost all doubt in myself.  As scared as I was, it was worth it!  I believe this is what I need again to get wisdom, direction on where to go next!!!  If I'm really honest, I want to go but afraid the women there will laugh at me telling me I don't have it in me.  I know that is crazy stupid talk!  I felt like this right before flying down to Florida for my first speaker seminar.  After leaving that experiene, I was mentored and went all across the United States and Europe within two years speaking, doing radio and appeared on TV. .  I met some amazing people.  It was totally God!!    Sometimes, we need others to see it in us and give us the extra nudge we so desperately need!!!  I know this is what my spirit  needs...

Raising Kids, Love and Santa Clause???

My kids know longer believe in Santa Clause.  Before I have people begin hating me because I don't encourage my youngest kids to believe in Santa, give me a minute!!! I know this is a hot topic for many people and this is not a blog on is it wrong to believe in Santa. It's a lesson on pride and judgement.  So, before someone judges me, give me some grace as I give you! 

We have our personal reasons why we stopped making Santa such a huge part of Christmas.  It's not wrong or right to either believe or not believe in jolly St. Nick!  It was extremely important for our kids to understand, know the reasons we were choosing to make new traditions and do things differently than many people we know.  To  focus on our family and what God has called us to do and live.  But, it's also so important for them to know and to accept and love other's for the choices, decisions, and traditions that  other families have.  For our kids not to judge other's and think we are better than anyone else.  When pride and judgement set in there will be a great fall.  Teaching our kids what that looks like and to live it as little people  will help prevent it from corrupting their heart,  and sabotaging the call on their lives as they grow into adults.

We can take a simple lesson our kids can relate to apply it to their life to teach them a huge life lesson that many adults still struggle with to this day.  We explained to our kids, know in your heart that we are doing is what God is calling us to do.  We do not need to prove ourselves right to others.This is prideful.  There was a time we made Santa a huge deal in our family.  It would of crushed us if someone would of wrecked it for our kids.  It was a big part of our Christmas celebration.    In time, their friends will find out the truth, until then meet your friends where they are   Knowing the truth in your heart. 

We as adults screw this thing called love, pride and judgement up all the time.  We wonder why we are not living fully in the presence of God or being able to go after the call on our lives.   Maybe because what God is requiring from us we are not willing to give him.  We need to give him first what he wants from us.  It's love the lord your God with all your heart, love your neighbor and not to judge others.  We can only judge ourselves.  We need to build relationships and bridges not walls. 

I know I've been so judgemental.  I had to repent and ask God for his forgiveness.  God has forgiven me, but I can't be upset when others judge me because of my own judgement. For every choice whether it is positive or negative there are consequences. ( I could write it all here but I'm saving it for the book I'm currently working on!)   We reap what we sew.  We can't stay in the past and need to  move forward.  We can say we are sorry to people we hurt, we can forgive, we can pray for those who hurt  us ( and should be doing this because it's what God commands us to do) but  this does not mean the relationships will be healed. It does not mean people will always love you back or even forgive you.  It's not our job to look at their life, try to figure it our or be depressed over it.  We need to love and trust our Lord.  There is nothing you can do only God can change someone's heart.  The one thing you can do is look at yourself with the help of God.  God is the only judge.  He is the only one who knows the entire picture not us.  We only know parts.  He came to take away all of our infirmities.  We need to surrender  EVERYTHING even our struggles over to him. Maybe this is why you may not have peace or joy in your life.  Maybe you are not experiencing all what God has placed in your heart.  Maybe it's because you surround yourself with people who tell you what you want to hear not what you need to hear.  Maybe you try to find anything you can to feed yourself reasons to be right or to stay mad?  It's it not healthy and it's not God.  If you feel like this, it could be because of pride and judgement.  It's so important that we see other's the way God  sees them. This goes for how we see and talk with our kids too.  Stop condemning, begin loving and build on the Word of God.

Judgement begins to sneak in my heart and when it does  God convicts me and I fall on my knees and repent.  I learn the lesson that God wants me to learn.  There are people in your life to teach you something about you.  If you are miserable or stuck in a rut it  has nothing to do with the people around you  but how you are responding.  There is nobody else we can blame but ourselves. 

You don't have to use Santa as a life lesson, but make sure you are teaching your kids lessons that will save them from making the many mistakes we have made.  However, make sure those lessons you are teaching just don't seem like fairy tales to your children.  Make sure they see you living out what you are teaching them or they will end up falling in the same pit repeating the same mistakes as you.  If  your kids are older and you feel you blew it, know there isn't anything impossible for God.  Ask for forgiveness, Seek him, knock and the door will be open to you as well.

A friend of ours was over last night.  The kids were asking her to come to church and she had reasons why she wasn't going.   My six year old looks at her and said, "we don't judge you."

Do not judge, so that you won't be judged.  For with the judgement you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.  Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye but don't notice the log in your own eye?  Or how can you say to your brother, let me take the speck out of your eye, and look there's a log in your eye?  Hyporcite!  First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.  Matthew 7:1-5

The Joy and Suffering at Christmas

The kids are at their grandparents and Mark is at work.  As I'm sitting here wrapping presents listening to Christmas music reflecting on this year.  My heart is overwhelmed with joy and at the same time a tremendous sadness.  God has blessed Mark and I in ways that will forever leave me grateful.  It literally takes my breath away.  He has also blessed us with friends that truly love us!  Who know our past and all our junk and still accept us especially me.  I have a big mouth, can be a terrible friend  yet they choose to look beyond my own struggles and  love me.

My heart is heavy too because with all the joy also comes pain.  My heart aches for the many families that will be having Christmas alone tomorrow.  For the families who are dealing with loss, sickness, financial issues and broken relationships.  My heart aches for my family and our own struggles.  For the brokenness in relationships with people we truly love. 


As I ask God for healing in all areas in my life, I pray for your family.  I pray for the families I may not even know personally.  I pray for my church and I especially pray for the people who may not know Christ or for them to know him at a much deeper level. As my heart is heavy and yet filled with joy,   God continues to remind me to continue to move forward keeping the eye on Christ and to remember that nothing is impossible for God.  God does answer prayers and they will be answered. If not in this life time you can count on it in eternity!!

To all my family and friends.  May you have a God filled Christmas.  May he pour blessing on to your family.  I pray for healing, restoration and a prosperous New Year!!! Thank you for the people who take time to read this blog.  For the family and friends who have allowed us to be part of your life, Thank You.  Whether we talk now or have crossed paths somewhere in life, you have been a huge blessing in my life whether you know it or not.   Merry Christmas!!!

Jack Daniels never sounded so good!

Christmas is here in 3 more days!!! Either you are ready for the big day or panic has now set it!! For some the list seems longer, if your kids go to school they are now home for Christmas break and the house is getting dirtier!!! The  ideas of making cookies with your kids, sipping on hot chocolate and singing Christmas carols just didn't turn out exactly how you envisioned it!!! You may feel overwhelmed not being able to meet all the demands that are being put on you.  You may feel busy but nothing seems to be getting done.  Money may be tighter this year. What you wanted to buy your kids, family and friends is now became only a hope for maybe next year, which makes you feel like a total looser.  Maybe the thought of seeing family members in less than 48 hours sends shivers up and down your spine! Because you feel the stress your kids are feeling it too!  They are having melt downs and you feel like joining them!  Instead of being filled with the spirit of Christmas you feel like the Grinch!  Instead of proclaiming Merry Christmas from the top of your lungs, you want to cry, kick your feet and scream BA HUMBUG!!!  Maybe just maybe as you are doing last minute grocery shopping your kids are filled with so much excitement  but instead of joining them, you feel like the worse mother in the world because they are on your last nerve!!!  But alas!!! You happen to walk down the aisle and reunite with your long lost best friend.   Jack Daniels!!! He is looking right at you!  You hear  him calling your name!!! How good does it sound!!! The thought of just a few sips could take you  into your own winter wonderland!

If this is you, I can relate!! For years, I put so much expectations on myself and on others.  It was never enough and felt like a failure.  (Still to this day if I'm not aware of it and let my guard down, the stress and pressure will start to way on my shoulders.  When this happens I take a few moments pray, focus on the good and let everything else go.) We spent money we didn't have on gifts nobody really needed!  We love to give!  We love to give to family and friends too. But doing it out of obligation or beyond your means and running your credit card to the max, is plain stupidity! If you can give gifts great and if you can't that is ok too! Now, when you feel the world sucking you in and just want to cry, try doing something from someone else. Look around at all you have been blessed with already.  Instead of looking at the lack of in your life, look for the blessings. You'll begin to feel the stress being lifted off your shoulders if for just a moment.   Ask God to help you see the world in his eyes.  The enemy wants to steal your joy.  He wants you to be self consumed and focus on your life and problems because this will keep you and me from loving  God and everyone else like the way God has loved us.  You may be going through some huge struggles right now. If this is you, I pray you find the strength and love of Christ.  By helping someone else, helps you see no matter what you are going through the blessings that are right in front of you.  Don't believe the lies nor let the world suck you in and take you down.    

Instead of reaching for Jack Daniels  to take your problems away reach for Jesus Christ. Now, God does want to work through each one of us.  He has a unique calling on each one of our lives.  But I doubt the majority of things on our list or what we are so stressed out about God is telling us to do!  God is peace not stress.  We need to be prayerful in all we do. He has not asked us to get our panties in a bunch because we haven't gotten all the Christmas cards mailed, cookies made to feed the entire neighborhood, he didn't ask you to buy gifts our of obligation nor did he ask you to stress out, live beyond your means and buy gifts your family and friends don't really need.  He didn't ask us to fight with our spouses nor scream at the kids or to let the bottle of Jack take all our problems away. 

Remember as the clock begins to tick and the nerves begin to get short, remember the manager, the baby and know Jesus is enough and so are you!  Your time and presence is all that he is requiring from you! To be honest that is all your family is truly looking for too.   At the cross Jesus said, "it's finished!"  Don't let the enemy win. Whatever doesn't get done, no big deal!  Take all the expectations you have put on yourself and give them to Christ! 

FYI: I do not try to pretend I'm perfect because I'm far from it!!! It's only because of Christ and what he has taught us! We aren't buying much this year and haven't even finished our shopping!  We'll go tomorrow!  I can finally say no stress for me this Christmas!   Whatever we do or don't do is enough! Christmas is not one day, it's everyday!   Remembering the true meaning of Christmas!!! Merry Christmas to all my family and friends!  I love you so very much!!!
Merry Christmas!!!!