When Feeling inadequate God always reminds me of his grace.

Mark and I have been praying for God to place amazing Godly families in our life.  To bring the right teachers and friends not only for us but for our kids as well.  We want to surround our self with people who just want so much more for their life.  I don't mean more as in bigger house, nicer cars or taking elaborate vacations. ( I'm not saying there is anything wrong with those things, if God wants to bless us with those!  I'm all for it if he decides to do so!  You won't hear me complaining!  Those THINGS are not our focus.)  God is sure bringing those people to us.  Its so refreshing to have people who are like minded, people who can love you enough to push you to grow.

Not only is God putting great families in our life, but he is surrounding me personally with Women who really get me!  ( they are Angels to Mark!  I love Friday's because  I  get together with some of these womean  and we talk, talk and more talk!  They are Angels to Mark because I think there is so much his ears can only take.)  There is just something incredible that happens when a group of women on fire for God get together.   It scares the crap out of the enemy!  Some days after I leave these women, the kids are in bed, mark is sleeping and I'm alone I  find myself feeling inadequate.  Doubt starts to creep in and  I wonder if I'm just screwing my kids up more! Its exactly what the devil wants us to believe. I fall to my knees asking God to help me and all my friends. To bring favor to those ones who are truly walking with you not to glorify us but so we can Glorify you. God I know you are looking for a peculiar person to answer your call. God, I don't know how much more peculiar we can be especially me!  It's not easy going against the world. So many people are just waiting for your people to fail so they can point their fingers and laugh. God help the ones who are stuck and questioning their faith.  God do amazing things so they can see you.

Today, As I  was pouring my heart out to God and praying for my family, friends and  giving him all by doubt, inadequacies and insecurities, He said loud and clear, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV. Get up, clear your tears and do what I've called you to do!  I said, thank you Jesus for always reminding me. You are all we need nothing more and nothing less.

You Can Laugh all you want to! It's ok with me!

I can't help but laugh at myself and at God.  You may not agree with me but God is funny. He is also wild too!  I  know this because I'm wild at heart!  I use to use it for bad and my own selfish pleasure but now I have learned how to use all that I have to life a life for him!  I don't know about you but I'm having a blast!  Life isn't easy but it sure is not boring anymore!   Even sex with my husband is wild and fun!!!

Anyway, everything I write about is so the opposite of who I use to be. Sure, I had a good additude most of time if you didn't tick me off!  I thought positive expect about my husband and people who would get on my nerves!  I didn't see anything wrong with not being pure even with your thoughts. ( Until God gave me children and boy did I realize I needed to change!)  I never thought I would write about purity for my children, respecting your husband, living God's dream not yours!  The list can go on and on!  I believed in God but it took time for me to know him!  I know God was looking at me and saying its going to take this one a long time!  She is stubborn, hard headed and learns slowly!!! Thankfully, he didn't give up on me. 
Its amazing how he took my heart and changed it so drastically!  If there are sceptics or critiques that read my blog its ok!  I use to be one too!  I know I have friends that think I have lost my mind. It's ok.  Years ago I use to think the same thing about people like me!  I just didn't know any better.  I you think I'm stupid for living my life the way I am or you want to call me names, I can handle it!  Because thankfully, I know who I am in Christ and nothing else matter!

How can you begin to renew your realtionship with your children or spouse?

Before I write anymore blogs, there is something that is on my heart that I need to express.  I know I write all kinds of life lessons on here, but please know they are NEVER to CONDEMN anyone. I know many people who have come to know Christ later in their life and they regret so many choices they have made especially regarding their marriage, parenting and how they mislead their family.  Also, I know Christians who were so caught up with RELIGION and RULES they forgot about the relationship part one with God and the other with their family.  They only talked the talk but didn't walk it and they to hold on to past mistakes and now find their kids far from the heart of God.

If this is you remind yourself about  God's grace. He has forgiven you and given you a new begining.   He has given you a new life and with time I pray you can begin to forgive yourself. 

Renewing your relationship with your kids or spouse may be one of your biggest priorities.  However, they can't get out of their head the old you and all the memories. They have every wall up and refuse to let you get close.  There is Hope.  God can renew the relationship and make your family closer than it ever has before.  It will NOT be EASY and there is a chance they will never let you in.  You need to hold on to hope and God's promises.  Remember they have free will too.  They can either choose to forgive you or not, its really up to them. Here is some simple steps that may help heal the pain and begin to open the door

• Pray, pray and pray!  You need the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
• Humble yourself before your spouse or children.  Openly admit to them you screwed up and you are sorry. ( if you are in a physically  or mental abusive relationship, please seek help asap)
• Let them see the light of Christ working in your life.  Let them know you are not perfect but are working on making things better. Don't just let your words be words but let them see by your actions.
• Be patient!  Don't expect the first time you talk with them that everything will be like Roses! It will might get worse before it gets better.  There will be many discussion you will need to have. It takes time.
• Let them express what ever they need to say. Don't be afraid of confrontation. It might hurt but that is why you need to be in prayer and need God and know this is part of the healing process.
• focus on the good. Don't CONDEMN them. I know many Christians who mess this up. Now that they are a new creation in Christ they begin telling others what is wrong with them or how they are messing things up. This is called Christian Pride. Think about your journey and how long it took you.  You made some stupid mistakes too but Jesus still accepts, love and works on you every day. Love like Jesus
• They may not be able it from you!  Your relationship with them might get better but they still can't grasp Church or having a realtionhsip with Christ. Pray that God will bring someone in their life they can here it from. Pray God can soften their heart and give them new eyes so they can see the new you!
• Remember the word is relationship. It takes time, patience's, love and Hope. 

Don't give up as hard as it may be.  I don't have all the answers and don't pretend to have them but I do know it doesn't matter who you are and what age you are hearing your sorry and I love you from your parents never gets old.

Are you buying the Lies?

Stop buying into the lies! The more I read God's word the more I realize all the stuff the world tries to seduce us with. Having you believe there is something wrong with you becasue you aren't living according to the world standards.


One of the lies being fed to us is living YOUR dream. You might be saying wait a minute Kim. You talk about finding your purpose all time and running after it with all your heart. Yes, I do but there is something wrong with the statement above. It involves the words YOUR dream instead of God's dream or purpose.

I've heard people say and agree with to some degree that the biggest tragedy in life is dying with your gifts and talents inside of you. You never tapped into your true potential. See, people often screw that all up. Yes, it is a tragedy becasue God has given us so much and not to use our talents is a slap in his face. But people often forget about God's desire and dreams for their life. Instead we push him aside and want it to be all about me. What's in it for me, is what most people ask themselves. It becomes all about me. My dream, My life and My desires. When we focus on MY dream what ends up happening is we end up sacrificing relationships, family and our own dignity just to please the world.

Yes, we need dreams. Yes, we should be living a life worth living. We should be living a life of purpose. In order to do that we need to die to ourselves. We need to stop asking God what can you do for me. Instead we need to submit to him and ask him What can I do for you. God's design for you life is way bigger than your puny dream could ever be. You won't have to sell yourself short, give into to sin or find yourself empty or alone after acheiving what the world is trying to offer you.

I believe one of the biggest life's tragedy is getting to the end of your life and realize the one you were running from was the who was trying to save you. Accepting Christ in your life is the ultimate goal even if it is when you take your last breath. However, one of the tragedies that even Christians make is dying not living God's perfect design and dream for your life. Don't chase the world's dream find Christ and his perfect will for you. Live God's dream not yours!

Teaching my kids to be pure. Can it be done?

Well, Mark and I are getting ready to start a new season in our life. It's called the teenage years.  We still have at least two more years until those hormones start kicking in but we are getting ready NOW!

We are doing something very different to what the world is teaching young kids today about dating and sex. We are actually teaching our kids about purity and saving yourself for marriage.  Now, I'm sure there are people reading this and laughing at me thinking this will never happen.  I have news for you, we are not buying into that lie either.  I never bought into the terrible two's or horrible three's and I'm not about to buy into my daugher will be disrespectful, rebellious and boy crazy.  Could she yeah there is a chance but not if Mark and I train/teach our kids with LOVE and LIVE by the same standards and show them by example.

I will admit teaching my kids about purity is not something I have any idea about becasue let's face it. I did not live that way. Both Mark and I don't want our kids to make the same mistakes as we did.  We both hate the fact that we never saved ourselves for each other.  I've been reaching out to other families who share the same values and learning from them. I'm reading and doing what ever we can so we can be prepared to lead our kids a completly different way the world is teaching. Is it going to be easy.  HECK NO!  But I believe the only way we will be successful at this is if we have self awareness ourselves. We can't teach something if we don't truly understand why we made the choices we made.  ( let me tell you...God has revealed so much to me these past years and shed the guult, shame and broke me from many strong holds. There will be a book about it and I know God will have it on the best seller list!!!   I know there are more woman feeling the way I did  and marriages struggling. I know what God has taught me can help someone else have a major break through!!!) It goes deeper than just I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes.  If there is no self awareness, goals for your family and are not prepared to tackle some of life's challengs then the world will eat your kids alive!  The world takes no mercy.  We love our kids and our marriage to much to let anyone come and take it away.  We will fight this fight and people can laugh all they want.  How great will it be when my kids save there heart for the one God brings them and they have no regret, heart aches or shame attached to them.  There will never be the question did he or she really want me.

I'm calling on all my friends who want the same for their son's and daughters. We need to come together, support and learn from each other. It won't be easy but with God on our side it can be done!

Is there such thing as Guilt free parenting?

If you are a Christian and homeschooling parent, there tends to be more pressure on us and how we are raising our children. The world is anxiously waiting for either the parent or child to screw up, so they can point there fingers and tell you," I told you so."


For my husband and I, we are always discussing and re-evaluating our life and how we are training our kids and being the model for them. Just when we think we know something, God takes us to a new season in our life. Training your kids into today's world, is not easy. With everything coming at you from TV, video games, music, clothing to the friends your children are exposed to is a full time job alone. I pray all the time and ask God to not let me grow weary. To keep me strong in this race to train and raise kids with Godly character. At times, I can feel like I'm going over board and all alone. I begin to doubt and question myself as mother? Then I let my guard down. But because God is so faithful, just when those ideas begin to pop in my head, he sends me simple reminders. It can be a encouraging word from my husband, my parents or dear friends. It can be a conference or a sermon a church. He even sends me reminders when I turn on the TV briefly and see all the crap that is out there. He whispers to me, "I'm not expecting perfection my dear child. Nobody is perfect, keep learning and growing and being the example you are to my children."

Do I know everything about parenting? Absolutely not! Here are a few things I've learned along the way. Hopefully, it can be a reminder to you, to give yourself grace and remember training your children isn't something that happens overnight.

• We serve God first. He is the leader of our family and we go to his word and prayer for direction. My kids understand with their heart it's not just mom and dad laying down the rules. It's God. We as parents have the same rules and guidelines to live by as they do.

• I surround myself and look for guidance from other families that I admire. However, I don't want to be them. I can learn from others but ultimately God has the finally say. Some people might not agree with me and how we train and raise our kids. I'm OK with that because I'm not living to please man only God!

• I look at my kids heart. They make mistakes all the time they are not perfect, but I know their heart. When they ask for forgiveness and truly mean it, find forgiveness and truly understand the lesson learned, there is peace in my heart.
• We can't be afraid to discipline with love. As much as you may think they don't, They want discipline in their life. They may test you on it but its our job to follow through, give them structure and not cave in as tough as it may be. 
• I try really hard to not be so hard on myself if they disobeyed in public when they know better. I would get upset not because of what they did but what others would think of me. I find women in general especially in the church can be very critical. I would get mad at the kids because of my own pride and ego and miss the teaching moment with my child.

• Its a process and to celebrate the good qualities the kids do and not always the negative. Not saying we don't don't about the negative but to focus more on the positive and be honest with them.

• God is not in a box. He is alive, wild and in love with them. He has such a bigger plan and purpose for each one of our lives. When we live in obedience to him, to trust him and really know him. It's not just about rules. It's about love and relationship.

Does this mean we don't have areas in our life we need to work on? Just the opposite. It's never ending and we as parents never stop learning. It's an adventure that I love being on. Doesn't mean it's easy and doesn't mean I don't cry or question myself at times. But there isn't anting more I want to see is my kids growing up to love and serve the Lord and not make the same mistakes and there dad and I have made.

Will the guilt go away?  I wish I could tell you yes. But as we grow closer to God, I think you may find the answer is yes.  But don't forget there is an enemy out there that wants to condemn you.   Remember, God doesn't condemn he convicts but with Love.  He  is so good. I'm thankful for his grace and mercy. Remember, God has grace on us. We need to stop beating ourselves up. Yes, we can always improve and get better, but also celebrate where we have came and were we are going. To always give Grace to our kids as well...

Dealing with insecurity? You are not alone!

Here I am in Love with God more than I ever have been in my life, studying his word and living for him.  Yet, insecurity still haunts me.  God has helped me overcome many obstacles in my life, set me free from strongholds, made me take a deeper look at myself, healed my marriage, basically changed my life from the inside out.  So, why then do I still struggle with the thoughts of not good enough and afraid of failing God.

As God has been working on me, I felt the calling to women's ministry a few years ago. Though, God told me it wasn't time yet, to keep learning.  Recently, I have been feeling him tugging at my heart telling me its time to start.  I've been using different excuses but he keeps telling me its time to move forward!  I'm so fired up on the calling on my life.  I love learning about God, teaching and sharing Jesus with women.  Even though I may know these things in the deepest part of my heart, the minuet I walk outside my house or in a church,  I feel so unworthy.  I've had the discussion with God many times and maybe you have had the same talk.  Why me?  Why did you make me the way I am?  Why did you make me so different?  At times, I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.  Did you have to give me such a big mouth!  (Thankful he has helped me learn how to use it for Good because for years all it did was get me in trouble!) 

I think he has gotten tired of my baby fits and whining!  The enemy wants us to feed our insecurities because it takes us away from the promises God wants for our life.  God keeps telling me and he is telling you the same if you just listen, he loves us, he delights in us!  He have gifted each one of us for a reason and for his purposes.  I have to keep remembering that and to be thankful the way he made me even if others around me might not like it! He will keep working on me and changing me as he wants to.  Until then God has told me its time to get a move on! 

Here I am!  Despite all doubts and struggles I have I am learning to accept his gifts, the calling on my life and to know its not arrogant or prideful to know who you are in Christ.  God has opened a door to begin a women's group at a local library.  I don't know what his plans are, if it is to teach me humility because nobody showed up this week!  Is it to trust him and just start walking?  Is it to help me focus each week on different topics so I can dive deeper in his word? Is it so I keep giving all my insecurities over to him? I believe yes to all the questions.  I'm not doing this for myself.  I'm doing this to Glorify my God.  Everyone has a beginning and God says if we stay faithful, walk by faith and not by sight and do good with what he has given us then more will come.  My heart is to help other women just like me.

.

Taking a Break This Summer!

This has been by far one of my best summer's ever!  The craziest thing is I didn't really do anything!  I took a break from just about everything!  Well, except for taking care of my family!  I didn't have the kids signed up in a million activities.  Markus and Marcia did their usual Karate with mark and Makenna continues to do gymnastics of course!  We did fun activities around the house.  The kids had . their friends over and had many sleep overs and we even made a trip to cedar point.  I was able to connect with a few friends, though not  as many as I would of liked to have seen.  There are still some people I tried to make plans with but becasue of everyone's schedule it just hasn't worked out yet! 

In one sense I was busy this summer with every day living with four kids, but this type of "busy" is what I love!  What I took a break from was all the other unnecessary things I didn't have to do or the time I was spending on FB!  My mind was begining to fill up with clutter.  I was getting irritable and not spending the time with God that I really wanted to be spending.  It was time to disconnect and get quite, which is not an easy task for me.  I really felt God wanting me to do this again.  I needed a clear mind to hear from Him.

If you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, trying to find out what decision to make, kids are driving you crazy or your marriage needs help, try taking sometime for yourself.  There has to be a few things in your schedule that you don't have to do.  I didn't have to ck FB every morning, evening and sometimes a few times during the day!  You want to talk about cluttering your mind!  Why do we really need to know what time someone is using the bathroom or going to the store?  Don't get me wrong, I like FB and connecting with friends but at this point in my life I wanted to hear what God was saying more than the 200 friends were thinking and most of them I don't really even know! 

God took these past few weeks and came through once again.  Every time there is a lesson learned don't get to comfortable because he isn't done with you yet!  There are more coming your way.  I learned what Love truly means. I learned on what it means to wait on God and he taught me in the funniest ways too!  He helped me to understand how much he loves me and how to give myself grace.  It's ok to mess up!  He is teaching me to let Him do the work and not me.  All I have to do is follow and do what he is asking me to do.  I can't wait to write about all the lessons he has taught me and hopefully through my mess, it will bless you!  If you feel like your head is going to pop at any given moment or you just would like to have five minutes to yourself or to be even to use the bathroom alone, take those as signs.  Its time to take a breather and break from all the unnecessary appointments in your life or even from FB and hear from God!  I am so excited on what he is doing in me and through me and that could only happen when we take time and listen.