Part TWO: What to do when your child looses control in Target?

You might be asking what prompted the baby fit in Target, if you read my previous blogs or how did I handle it?  First, I love Marcia.  She is an amazing little girl with a fire for life!  She is not afraid to tell you or show you how she feels!  She is a very passionate little girl.  So, dealing with Marica is very different then dealing with Makenna and Markus. ( not that they are not passionate, they show deal and show their emotions diferently!)  I think sometimes we forget that every kid is different and we have to know and understand each personality so we can effectivelyly communicate and teach them.

We were checking out of Target and Marcia spotted her favorite package of Gum!  As soon as she saw it she wanted it and she wanted it now!  So she picked it up and asked me if she could buy it because she really wanted it.  I said to her, I know its your favorite gum and you can have it as long as you buy it with your money.  Do you have your money?  Normally, if she has her money, she thinks twice and decides she doesn't want to spend her money on it and decides to save it!  Today, was not the case!  She didn't have any money and wanted me to buy it!  I explained to her ONCE that sorry we were not buying Gum today and that was the start of the baby fit!  ( I also know that she had so many emotions going on because Marie was just a few weeks old!)  As the kids and I began walking to the doors to our car, she screamed louder and louder, dropped to her knees and held on to my legs!!!  I did not give in!  If I would of given in she would do this again some other time!  I kept walking and dragged her all the way to the cement outside the doors and I know everyone was starring at all of us!  Markus and Makenna were trying to get to the car so nobody would see them!!! 
 She finally got up and walked to the car with us but continued to scream.  I still am remaining calm and KEEPING THE END in mind!  I put the bags in the car, she climbs in her seat and begins to calm down.  2 minutes after sitting there, she looked at me and said she was sorry.  I asked her what she was sorry for and she said, "for DISOBEYING you. I'm sorry for throwing a baby fit."  She didn't say it because I made her, she said it and really meant it. I told her I still love her and I forgave her.  I was able to use that moment as a great teaching moment for Marcia, Makenna and Markus.  We talked about Self-control and obeying.  If I would of gotten myself all upset and screamed back at her, I would of lost the teaching moment and would of taught her how to have a baby fit as an adult!  When we got home, she went in her room for time out for what she did, but she knew how much I still love her and she was forgiven!

She is know different than some adults I know!  We see things we want and want them now.  Even though they can't afford it they have their baby fit buy getting a credit card and buying in anyway .  They have no self control! ( I know I use to be like that! ) By teaching your kids now self-control you are setting them up for success as an adult.  By teaching them how to be obedient to you is teaching them how to be obedient to God and to listen to him even when you don't want to. By teaching your kids to forgive and love even when we make mistakes is teaching them that God loves us so much and forgives us every time we come to him with a heart of repentance!   Does it mean she won't do this again...I don't know, but I do know she knows I love her with all my heart and learned a major life lesson and 4 years old! Its all about planting the seeds and being the example!

Something for Everyone!

Hello, Friends! We are inviting you to an AWESOME day of fun at Twin Oaks Church, 22333 King Road, Woodhaven, MI 48183 this Saturday, January 22nd. Google it! The church is easily accessible from Telegraph, I-275 and I-75. The event is a fundraiser to benefit a mission trip to Rapha House in Cambodia for friends in our church. Rapha House exists to love, rescue, and heal children who have been rescued out of slavery and sexual exploitation. Operating as a 501(c)3, Rapha House began in 2003 to permeate cultures with love that heals and leads to restoration. Rapha House does this by providing safehomes and aftercare programs for young girls who have been rescued out of slavery and exploitative situations. All Rapha House homes are currently located in Southeast Asia, with the goal of expanding globally. As a mother of 3 girls, this agency has been dear to our hearts. Our friends are planning a mission trip to assist in Rapha House's goals. We are planning this fundraiser to help them get out of here!!! Here are some of the fun things you can do:


Basketball Clinic (all ability levels): The time for 7-9 year old boys and girls is 9am-1pm. 10-12 year old boys and girls will play from 1:30-5:30. The coaches are awesome and kids have a BLAST (and get really tired)! Suggested donation: $20 (we can make a deal if you are bringing in multiple kids!) Bring a white shirt and a colored shirt for scrimages.

Scrapbooking Day!! Bring your supplies and hang out in the Scrapbooking room with friends you can bring or meet while you're there. You could bring your quilting project, too! Babysitting will be provided for those kids too young for the basketball clinic. Suggested donation: $5 per hour for babysitting

Music lessons: Is your child thinking about playing a new instrument? Does he/she need a lesson on the instrument they currently play? Bailey Buchbinder, award winning musician and composer will be available for lessons. Instruments available for "trying on": flute, clarinet, trumpet, french horn, snare drum, tuba, violin, and piano (keyboard). All ages!! Suggested donation: $5 for the "try on", $10 for a 30 minute lesson. While not busy, Bailey will also be playing in the lobby for your entertainment.

classes available: (freewill donation of your choice) Lacking support from family members on your decision to homeschool? Do you need some affirmation that you are doing the right thing for your children by homeschooling them? At 9:30 and again at 2pm, Bring the doubters and come listen to 21 year old Ayla Eichenhofer, homeschooled since birth and a recent college graduate (with high honors), talk about her experience with homeschooling, how she handled living in the dorm at a public university in Kentucky, and how she feels homeschooling prepared her for life and her future career! There will be a question and answer period following her talk. You can even ask her, "How did you feel about missing the prom?"

Tired of asking yourself, "What's for dinner?" At 11am and 3:30pm, come to our Menu Planning Workshop!! Bring your recipe box and/or favorite cookbooks and walk away with a month's worth of inexpensive and healthy planned meals.

At noon and 4:30pm, Kim Watt, homeschooling Christian mom, will discuss biblical parenting and be available for a question and answer time.

There really is something for everyone! Come for the whole day or only an hour. Support our missionaries, support the Rapha girls, and be a part of something BIG for a change! Questions? Contact Dawn Buchbinder, dawnbuchbinder@yahoo.com, 734-782-2761



Forward this to EVERYBODY

when your daughter throws a baby fit in the middle of Target!

Sometimes mom's ask me how I don't ever seem like I get stressed out and how after being with my kids all day and night they don't drive me nuts!  First, there are defitly  times I feel overwhelmed but when that happens its becasue I'm not focusing on God and trying to do things on my own.  However, even though my kids are always with me they don't drive me nuts!  I seriously enjoy them!  They are not perfect and just like other kids. They will fight with each other, disobey me and even throws  a baby fit in the middle of target and hold on to my legs as I'm walking out of the store!!! ( that would be marcia!!!) They have their moments we all do!  There are days I wish I could scream and through a baby fit in the middle of the store!!!

Today, my pastor said something today that is one my motto's I live by!  Its "Keep the end in mind." Its what has kept me from not losing my mind!   When your kids or anyone at that matter is driving you nuts, when bills are piled up high, work is not going the way you wanted it to, what ever it is, keep the end in mind.

I love being with my kids even when they are acting out because I keep the end in mind and also take one day at a time!  I know my kids will not be kids for very long.  I only have them for a short time and then they will be on their own, I want to make every second count!  I know by keeping the end in mind that everything I do and show them by example is making a lasting impression on them.. I want to set my kids up for success in life not failure and by taking one day at a time keeps me from feeling overwhelmed and fouced on God not the circumstances....

What Scares You?

Have you ever just been so overwhelmed with joy and excitement that you can hardly sit still?  You just want to scream on top of your lungs how awesome God is?  When you look at your life and just amazed on what God has done and continues to do that you find your self in aw and just sometimes can't believe it yourself?  Your life has more meaning than it ever has before?  You don't know what the heck you ever did to deserve it?  There are so many feelings go through me right now and I know I'm just babbling but when you seriously come to know Jesus and let him work on you its increadible to see what he can do in your life.  God placed a HUGE dream on my heart!  I had know idea on how it was going to happen and still don't but I just listen to him.  It hasn't always been easy and there has been huge RISK's  Mark and I have  had to take and will continue to take,  there have been peope and places we have had to leave even though we loved the people so much!  He has placed mark and I in a place that I know is for a reason.  As excited as we are its also scary too!  Becasue God don't take excuses and when he calls you he will do everything to get your attention and make you move forward!  I can't hide anymore and as much as I don't think I'm qualified or good enough God says something else.  He is forcing me to step out and face some more fears and is placing amaizng people in my life that has the same passion and vissions as I do.  All I know is this God never fails, he is a forgiving and loving God and has huge plans for everyone as long as you answer the call.  I'm so thankful that I heard him call my name...I would rather have "nothing" and have God then have "everything" and not God!  No matter how scared you might be to step out and live your God given dreams, do it today!  Yes, its scary and challenging and people will think you are nuts but its your life and there is nothing else more exciting then living a life for God!

Are you really willing to do whatever it takes???

These past few weeks since I've taken a break from facebook, God has done some amazing things in my life. I know someone reading this might think that sounds crazy.  How could something so simple and so small have such a big impact on my life? 

For one thing I was spending too much time on FB.  Even though I was only going on to post a comment, I found myself reposting and then commenting on other friend's post.  What started off as only 5 minutes turned out to be much longer.  Here I am knowing God is calling my family and I to much bigger things, however I was neglecting what he truly wanted me to do and kept myself busy with nonsense.  I have four kids and my time is limited, just like many people reading this.  If I really want to do what God is calling my family and I to do, I had to look at how  I was spending my time.  Was my choices taking me closer to what God is calling me to do or taking me farther away.  My intentions were good  but it wasn't getting me closer but slowly it was taking me farther away. 

God will ask us to do some big and small things in our life. Its up to us if we are going to listen.  We can talk all day long about our dreams and what God is calling us to do, but we better be willing to do the work and make choices that will take us there. 

Since I've gotten off FB and quieted my mind and use my time wisely, I've been able to hear him more clearly.  He has shown me areas that  still need to be healed. Learning and growing is constant. Just becasue you have had a few break throughs and grown some doens't mean the job is over!    He has shown me areas I still need to forgive myself and not to continue to carry the baggage around.  If I don't allow God to heal and teach me, how the heck am I going to help others.  I made some dumb choices, bad decision and many mistakes in my life.  I've had a ton of jobs and tried many things.  Some of them have worked and some have failed. ( I really don't believe there is a such thing as failure as long as you learn the lesson.) Someone reading this may be in the same boat. We are ashamed of some of our choices and who we use to be.  Its okay.  God wants to forgive you and has if you have asked him too but you need to ask him ( and if you call yourself a Christian you need  ask others who you may have hurt to forgive you or forgive someone who has hurt you. ) and then forgive yourself.  People may not forgive you but God will and if your heart is for God he will bring many wonderful people in your life so you can have a fresh start.  He will give you a clean slate and it will be up to what colors you want to add.  It doesn't mean you won't have some ugly colors at time because having Christ in our life doesn't mean we are perfect and we will continue to make mistakes.  The beauty is we have a savior that forgives us and will help us grow the more we stop talking about it and truly walking it.  It will not be easy but it will be so liberating. 

You really need to ask yourself do you really want to live a better life?  Do you really want to grow closer to God?  Do you really want to be positive role models for your kids?  If the answer is yes, then you better take a look at your life and ask yourself are you using your time wisely?  Are you really taking the time to allow God to work in you?  Are you willing to allow God to heal your life?  If the answer is yes, then you better be willing to do whatever big or small God is asking you to do, whether you like it or not...

Looking at your Child's Heart...

As I write it this, I want to make sure you know I do not think I'm a child expert!  I have four kids and my oldest is 10 years old and I know I have a long way to go still and haven't even hit the teenage years yet. I'm not a perfect parent. 

What I do know is God is helping me learn more and heal myself so I  I don't continue handing down all my baggage on to my kids.  Lets face it, if we don't recognize or know why we do what we are doing or why we did what we did in  past, we will pass down our insecurities, mistakes and all our "stuff" generation to generation.  If you don't want your kids to make the same mistakes as you its time to wake up!

God is helping me raise me kids. I depend on him to show and teach me what I need to teach them. I learn through prayer, his word and other people God has placed in my life. (its so important to be open to learning and be coachable.)

I believe its important to check our kids hearts.  Kids are going to disobey, make wrong choices and fight with their siblings. Its our job to help teach our kids and be able to recognize the fruit in their life before it goes sour.

Just recently Mark and I really felt God calling us to a new Church.  (It wasn't because we were unhappy with the Church we were at.) My kids at first were not happy with this decision.  They told us God didn't tell them!  My oldest daughter was having the toughest time.  She didn't want to leave because she had friends she loved, she really liked her teachers and was comfortable.  The more we talked about it she would flat out tell us she wasn't going to go and she would get very upset. 

This was a great teaching moment.  We as parents have to recognize these moments and take full advantage of them.  We have to learn to walk with our kids and not always be so demanding and not explain why we are doing what we are doing and to also listen to your children's fears and concerns. To share with them your fears too. 

Mark and I asked Makenna what was bothering her.  After listening it her reasons  and sharing our fears with her, we asked her does she really have a heart for God?  She told us yes.  We asked her, "do you really want to live for Christ."  She said yes.  We asked her, "do you trust God and trust that he is leading your mom and dad.  She said, Yes.  If we truly have a heart for God we have to do what he asks us to do even when its uncomfortable, even when its hard and to trust God even when we don't have all the answers.  This is part of the journey.  When you say no to your parents that shows us you are not trusting and obeying God.  It showing us that you only want to give God a small part of your heart and not all of it.  You only want to do what you want. 

This was a great seed to plant in her heart, because as she grows we know there will be many more choices in her life that God is going to ask her to do and the world.  It will be up to her who  she is going to listen to.  But if we can get to the root of the heart and really recognize what is going on, hopefully she will learn to listen the voice of God and  not the enemy.  We explained to her by going against her parents is the enemy's way of holding her back from God's promises.  When your kids are acting out, try to get to the root of the problem and not let your ego get in the way because they butting heads with you. 

We kicked the fears in the butt and faced them head on.  Makenna went to the new church and it was a great experience but was the best  is the lessons she learned.  To trust God, her parents and even when she faces fear you need to keep on walking because the promises God has if far better than sitting in fear and defeat....

SPEAKER Kim Watt - Les Brown Student

As Les Brown says,"you don't have to be great to get started, but in order to be great you have to get started." Someone may be watching this and think this video stinks and it just might! My friend just called me and told me it was on you tube! I don't know about you, but I really hate watching or listening to myself. I'm very critical and hard on myself and sometimes I guess that can be good because it keeps us humble but it also can paralyze you and we never take a chance to go after a dream that God placed on your heart. We think sometimes we have to know it or be perfect before you can do something and that is a big fat lie! I know I'm nothing special in this video and I was even worse a year before that! But I also celebrate the fact that I stepped out on faith and had the courage to begin a life long dream. The crazy thing is what I thought I was going to do God has a completely different plan! Trust me is plan is better than anything we can ever dream of, but we have to be willing to step out.

I was so nervous doing this PBS special. Les Brown took 4 of his students and gave us 5 minutes each to speak! You might think 5 minutes is easy but its way harder to do 5 minutes than it is to do 30 minutes! When I watch this, I know I've grown so much since then, thankfully! As I was speaking in this video, there was so much going on spiritually. God was working on me but I still didn't know him. I believed in Jesus but had know idea who he really was. If I didn't know who he was how could I know who I was?

Since then I've dedicated my life to him. I know I'm nothing with out him and everything with him. My views on life have changed and I've grown so much since this experience.

All of us have something God wants us to do. We all have talents and skills but its so important to continue to work on  them. I know many talented people who haven't did anything because they either thought they knew it all or didn't have to sharpen their skills. What ever you dream is get out there. You don't have to be great! Look at me, I'm not great but God is and he keeps on teaching me and the more I trust him and listen to him the better I get and its only so I can glorify him!

Remember don't let fear and doubt stop you from doing what God has placed on your heart to do.  "And Jesus answered them, Truly I say to you, if you have faith (a firm relying trust) and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, Be taken up and cast into the sea, it will be done. Matthew 21:21

Why I decided to get off Facebook!

The last week I decided it was time again to take a break or sabbatical from face book!  Of course, I love connecting with friends and meeting new ones, but I knew it was clogging my brain!  Sometimes there just too much noise and it gets to be difficult to hear God's voice.  I don't want to be focused on everyone Else's opinions and concerned if people like me or not.  I don't want to be focused on how many people like my posts on FB or how many people leave their comments.  My only concern is if I'm doing the will of God and what his thoughts are.  I know that might sound weird to some people and that is OK because I use to think the same thing about people who loved and lived for God, but like the saying goes once you know better you live better! 

I started this year with no junk cluttered in my head!  I started this year with prayer and hoping I end this year doing all God is calling me to do.  I'm so looking forward to the new people he will bring in our life and all the new lessons he will teach me and to keep looking at myself and growing.  I looking forward to serving him and doing what ever he calls me to do.  I pray I don't get ahead of God and wait patiently on him.  I know one of my biggest struggle is not to let the enemy get in my head.  Every time I take another leap of faith and do what God says to do, doubt and negative thoughts enter my head.  The ones that start with nobody will like you, you can't do that,who do you think you are, you're no good.  Thankfully, I know that is not the voice of God and he loves me and he loves you and wants us to do amazing things for him.  Years ago, I let those thoughts stop me in my tracks because I believed them, but not anymore.  I pray through them and know to keep moving forward as hard as it may be sometimes.

We ended the year celebrating with our kids.  We went to the movies, bowled and then celebrated the new year at church.  We wanted to make sure we started the year off right with God first!  It was the best New Year's Eve Mark and I ever had.  Yes, 8  years ago drinking until we puked and passed out seemed like fun and at the time I won't lie I had a blast, but that stuff can only last so long and it starts to creep up to you. The past few years, I haven't gone to bed with any regrets or smelling like puke! (i'm over exacteraging about the puke but you get my point.)  What was so amazing this year  was my family celebrated with God, sang together, prayed together and laughed together!  I couldn't ask for more!  We went to bed with the blessing from God.

I know I will be back on FB in a few weeks!  I need to take time to make sure I start and  this year off right.  To keep moving in the direction God wants me to go and I just know this year is going to be an awesome year!