Bringing Light To The Matter!

Are we afraid to open up the closets?

2011-11-27T23:13:00.000-05:00

As I was thinking about the messy closet in my basement, or the abyss as we call it, it reminded me of the sin we try to hide in our life. Even though I acted shocked when I opened up the door to find a pile of mess, I've known it's been there. I've just been avoiding it as long as possible. Our sin is no different. We know it's there but we keep hiding from it, shutting the door hoping never to have face some of the pain or mess we once had in our life. However, it never goes away and if not dealt with it will eventually show up when we least want it to.

See, if we have dedicated our life to Christ. It is so important to understand and believe that it's because of the shedding of Christ blood that we are forgiven. Nothing more and nothing less. We don't have to clean out our closets alone nor do we have to keep it hidden or the door shut any longer We must believe what God says. We might not understand it completely but to have faith in him alone. "without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. Hebrews 11:6

God wants to give us a new heart. He will deal with our sin on his term and his time, if we allow him too. He will do it with love and not condemnation. It may hurt, be painful and won't be cleaned out over night. Just like our messy closets it takes time to clean out something that has been sitting there for days, months and even years. You are forgiven! You don't have to do anything but allow him to into your heart. He won't leave you alone to face your junk by yourself. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He didn't save you to keep you in the mess either. Scripture says, "He brought me into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me" psalm 18:11.

He delights in you! It doens't matter what you did or didn't do or what others say. As God begins cleaning out your closets, Satan will try to creap in and throw another pile of clothes at you or remind you of something that still looks filthy. Instead of buying into the lies or trying to prove yourself with good conduct or deeds stop there. It t has nothing to do with you or me or what we can or can't do. Because without christ all of our rags are filthy. But instead always answer Satan with the blood of Christ. The blood cleanses us from every sin. God looks upon the blood whereby His son has met the charge, and Satan has no more ground of attack. Our faith is the prcecious Blood and our refusal to be moved from that position can alone silence his charges and put him to flight. ( Romans 8:33, 34)

God is so good and I'm so thankful how he has taken my mess to use it to glorify him! Believe him, open the door and let the cleaning begin!

Don't let Satan wreck your Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T12:40:00.001-05:00

Here It is Thanksgiving! The kids were so excited to wake up and go down to the parade. Now, you think I would learn my lesson and get everything prepared the night before so I wouldn't have to run around the house just before leaving! Of course, I haven't. As I was walking downstairs to grab some extra blankets, I opened the door to a room in the basement where I store all the kids clothes that know longer fits them or toys that need to be given away or sold at a garage sale.

A few months ago, this room was organized and clean. However, we get busy and I would just open the door and throw whatever needed to go in there and hurry up and shut the door. It know longer looks like it did a few months ago, we now call it the abyss. If we can't find something, there is a good chance it is lost in this room!

(There is two lessons to learn from this, which I will post later.) Satan loves to try to trip us up and get our mind off the things of God. Here I was getting ready to enjoy the morning with Mark and the kids but instead I found myself getting all stressed out and overwhelmed. I began focusing on what needs to be cleaned and organized. I started feeling my chest getting tight and the anxiety began kicking in.

I had to take a few minutes pray and this scripture came to my mind. "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."- 2 Corinthians 4:18

God is so good! He had to remind me that the mess will be cleaned sooner or later and probably more later than sooner. It's only temporary but the memories with my kids are eternal. I would rather spend my day celebrating and being thankful than crabby about something that is really no big deal.

This Thanksgiving, as you are preparing for your family to come over or trying to get your husband, the kids and the dish to take over to friends or families house ready, remember don't stress over what is not temporary don't let the enemy take you away from what is eternal. Being grateful and thankful this Thanksgiving Day! ( If your family drives you crazy as they show up at your door step or as you get ready to leave for their house just keep reminding yourself of the scripture over, over and over again today!)

Happy Thanksgiving! Many blessing to you and your family!

Why I've decided on passing on the Movie Breaking Dawn.

2011-11-22T12:20:00.006-05:00

Since disconnecting from FB, it's amazing how much more productive I've been. I stopped watching TV a few years ago with a few exceptions and only listen to either positive music ( mostly Christian) and Christian speakers. By getting rid of all the extra noise it's incredible to have my creative mind back!(I can't wait to God birth's some of these ideas he is placing on my heart! I just have to stay focus, obedient and not get ahead of God!) By limiting to what enters my mind and spirit gives more room for God to speak to me. There is nothing more than I long for is to be in the will and presence of God.

But there have been times I've found myself drifting away.   Sometimes we know what God says and know what we need to do but lack in this area.   I know this past weekend was the craze of the next Twilight movie. ( Serioulsy, since being off FB I forgot all about it until someone at church was talking about seeing the movie! I had know idea it was out! but his leads me to when I made a small decision and how it took me away sliently from the heart of God.) I will admit I was on this band wagon just a few years ago too even though I knew how important it was to fill my mind up with only things that can move me closer to God's will for my life.

I used the excuse I wanted to read the books and watch the movies so I could use it to relate to younger girls and older women. I wanted to be able to use the story line to help them learn more about themselves, relationships with others and God. To help them see it isn't a man who will fill us up only the love of God. I know there are women of all ages and young girls  who are still longing for this type of intimacy in their relationships. Some are trying to recreate the emotions they once felt when they were younger and first fell in love becasue maybe their marriage is pretty much dead now. It has lost it's spark. I understand there are women who merely go and wathc these movies for pure entertainment. I will admit I love romance movies! ( The romance movies that move my heart are not the ones anymore made by hollywood. There the love storie made by God. It might sound weird but when you learn how romantic God is it will blow your mind away. Ladies, if more men and women would listen to God their marriage would be at a whole new level.) But if we are really honest with ourselves the reason these movies are so successful is becasue we would love nothing more than our fathers ( if we are younger) or husbands to love, admire and protect us the way the characters in the movie do toward Bella. We want the men in our life to fight for us! Because majority of men lack in this area not becasue they don't want to be the men God called them to be but becasue they don't know how, haven't been taught themselves or not allowing God to show up in their life to teach them. They have walls blocking them in every area. ( another talk at another time!)

As I began reading the books a few years ago, couldn't put them down! I think I went through the entire series in four days. I felt like about 20 years younger! I couldn't wait until the movies came out and even dragged Mark to watch Eclipse.

But the honest truth why I went to see the movies and read the books was because I was feeling so different. I began living a different life style. I didn't want to have the normal conversations I use to have. God began changing me and the more he did the more alone at times I would feel. The closer I was moving toward Christ the more friends it seemed I was losing. I didn't want them to look at me weird. I knew what God said but at the same time I wanted to be accepted by the world too or at least the few friends I had. I gave in just so I could feel accepted.

Here God was healing my mind spirit and but becasue I was looking for validation from others,  I gave in to what I new better in my heart.   Now, I don't think there is anything horrible with the movie or books. I don't think you are going to hell for watching them! See, God set me free from many areas in my life including sexual bondage. I know how important it is to God to keep your mind pure. I didn't need to go and fantazie about other men and wish my husband was like them or recreate some romantic feeling I had when I was younger. God had already recreated our marriage and I didn't need to hide at a movie to go and bring it back to life.

I'm not judging people who love Twighlight! I know Christians and non christians who are Edward and Jacob fans!!! This is about me, my journey and relationshiop with God. God reminds me that anyone who makes the choice to follow Christ and not the world will be different. It's not a bad thing either! I know how important it is to live the life God has promised. It's not about me and pleasing myself. In order to live the life God promised we have to be intentional about walk our walk with him. I want to be intentional about everything that comes in my mind and spirit. I want all of God not just part of him. Also, I want to teach my kids how to use wisdom and discrenment about what enters their mind and spirt too. I don't want them following the crowd just so they can fit in. I want them to be leaders but how can I expect it from them If there mother doesn't have the same standards for herself. The last time we were at the theater, Markus saw a poster of Twighlight. He looked at me and said Mom, this is not a good movie. You need to keep your eyes and heart pure. He was so right. Talk about conviction.

Yes, I could of seen Breaking Dawn.  I don't think its a horrible movie. I didn't go see it becasue of the vampires either! I decided to not see the movie becasue I don't want to give my daughters a mix messages. The message in these movies is not what I want to teach my daughters. ( this is another discussion at another time too!) I don't want to fill my eyes with sex or find myself lusting over some fictional characters. I want to die to myself and all my selfish desires. I want a heart pure for my husband and my God.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Phil 4:8

I have experienced first hand the goodness of God. I don't want to pollute my mind with anything that will keep me away from this life God has blessed me with! I just don't want to know what God says, I want to live the way God says. Keeping your mind pure will only help you experience the fullness of God!

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does. James 1:22-25

How can you get your husband to talk and spend more time with you? You might have to speak it in words he can understand! SEX

2011-11-20T23:24:00.001-05:00

Talking and spending time is one of my love languages. I believe talking about our day, sharing our feelings and being open and vulnerable with our husband is something wives long for from their husbands. I know when mark gives me his full attention and is really listening to me, I feel such a deeper connection with him.

We can probably guess what Mark and what most husbands first love language is, yes SEX! To be honest it's not something that is top on my list as much as I love him. Especially after teaching the kids, driving them everywhere, making dinner and standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes all day! ( our dishwasher has been broken. It should be fixed any day and I can't wait!) It's something I have to be intentional about. We are one and his needs are just important as my needs.

Ladies, if you need your husband to talk, listen and spend time with you. You might have to speak his language(If reading something about sex offends you, then you might not want to read this blog! Meeting each others needs successfully is what makes a marriage thrive. We need more Christians to get this so their marriage can do what it was intended to do. Glorify God!) If he is anything like my husband when you say the word sex you have his complete attention. I don't care, he could be in the middle of a deep sleep or to tired to put the dishes way, but say the magical three letter word and he will do whatever I ask!

One day we were feeling irritable with each other. We had a busy week. I didn't feel we were communicating like I needed, he wasn't getting sex like he needed and we were not praying together. We pray as a family every night but we really try to pray every night just the two of us. (It's amazing what happens when we open up and honestly talk with God what is on our heart. I feel so close to mark and it makes our day and marriage better.) Thankfully prior to this happening, God helped me explain what I needed to say in words to mark so he could relate to! He helped both of us understand their is an enemy out there that wants nothing more than to brake our marriage up. Marriages don't end in a day. It something that happens gradually and I'm so thankful we can recognize when we are getting off track!

One day I said to him, Sex is important to you and to be honest it's not on the top of my list. But I love you and so it's important to me. So, spending quality time together is extremely important to me but it doesn't mean sitting on the coach watching football with you. It doesn't mean you read a book and I read a book and go to bed. I need your undivided attention not part of it, not you watching football or Espn and I have a small window to talk during commericals. I wasn't sure if he still was getting it. I said, " what if during sex i fell asleep, started yawing or picked up a book and started reading!!!

He looked at me and smiled! He finally got it!!!

The other day as we began feeling irritable with each other, we both realized what was going on. (Years ago, it would of turned into a full blown fight). We prayed together , talked and then I rocked my husbands world!!! Ladies, if your husband is lacking in the communicating part you just might need to speak it in his language. Once he gets it he will give you the attention, time and affection your heat is longing to have.

The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and like wise to her husband. the wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husbands' body does not belong to him alone but also his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutal consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-contorl. -1 Corinthians 7:4-5.

Is it time to get out of the nest?

2011-11-20T21:16:00.000-05:00

God has placed this love for helping women on my heart for sometime now! I wasn't exactly what he wanted me to do. He spoke clearly to me a few years ago about getting my relationship with mark on the right track. My first responsibility is to my husband and kids. ( of course God is first!)

God has taught me and continues to teach me. He has helped me to depend on him and nothing else. He reminds me I don't need the approval of anyone else. I'm grateful I have a husband who See's me the way God sees me. He encourage me everyday to conquer those negative thoughts and not let the devil win.( I know we only need the approval from God but I will tell you it really helps when you have people in your life that really know and care for you. They see your gifts and talents and never let you give up! Life can be hard and we need people to speak life.)

I've began feeling God pushing me out of the nest! Telling me its time to start moving. To focus and believe Him. I tried to make excuses or even hide behind my kids but he knows where to find us!

As I began walking out again, speaking and writing. I haven't made all the right moves. What I thought what God was having me do has been changing. Yes, I love helping woman grow and look deeper into their lives but it has increased to standing up for family, marriage and helping parents train their kids not according to the world but to the WORD and to help home school families. As I'm learning and realizing as my kids are getting older it's so important to surround ourselves with families who want the same thing. To be honest, it's really hard to find people who want to grow deeper with God, put their families first and do life differently. We need to be intentional with everything we do. The world is giving out a completely different message. God has really showed me how I can be different, bring him Glory, stand up for marriage, family and homeschoolers! He is shifting my ideas, bringing out what has been in my heart, giving me courage to begin to speak on issues that nobody wants to talk about. This could only of happened as I began moving.

If you are feeling God pushing you out of the nest like me and giving you wings to fly but afraid we will fall, don't worry. You might but on the way down and on the way up God will give you his word, his strength and everything in between to get you back flying in the direction he wants you to go! Begin flying my friend the world is desperately waiting and needing you!

Get quite and Get moving!

2011-11-20T20:46:00.000-05:00

The beginning of June God was trying to speak to me, but I couldn't hear him with all the clutter I was bringing into my life. I wanted to desperately hear from him. However, I was engaging in extra activities in my life that I knew were not necessarily helping me grow spiritually. ( It wasn't anything horrible either. I just was busy with the kids and piling up my schedule with activities that I didn't have to do. I knew I didn't want to get back into the people pleasing business! I've been there and if you are trying to please people you will only be disappointed! I only want to please God! I knew It was time for me to make changes.)

Many of us know or have heard from God and know the call on our life. We might not know it exactly but we have somewhat of an idea and we want to fulfill it just can't get over the mountain. We are not willing to let go and do what is necessary to hear from God. We don't want to inconvenience ourselves or have to make the changes that we know God wants from us. I would never change living my life for God. It outweighs living a life for myself any day. But I will fully admit, It doesn't mean it will always be easy!

What do we do when we want to hear from God? What do we do if we want to know what to do next? How can we deepen our relationship with our Creator?

First, We need to get the distractions out of our life! This may look like watching less TV or no tv, turning off your radio or change the type of music you are listening to, disconnecting your FB page, maybe you might even have to spend less time volunteering right now in order to get your life straight? Ask God to help show you how to prioritize your life and remove the clutter.

Second, of course is pray. Spend time with God alone and through out the day talking to him but also listening to him. By removing the distractions in your life helps you focus on what God is saying.

Third, we wait! Be prepared we might not always get the answer we are looking for. Remember it's not about you and me it's about God. He might not say anything for awhile either. Sometimes that is really hard for me. But I've learned waiting on God and getting quiet doesn't mean do nothing! There has been seasons in my life that yes God said don't do anything yet but that didn't mean I sit in a room and twiddle my thumbs or moan and groan! It meant continue doing what he has me doing. Training my kids and growing my relationship with my husband and with my God. He had me learning more about him and myself by reading his word, listening to pastors I admire and being open to learning from the people God put in my life. (Sometimes he might place someone that is really hard for us to love or get along with for that matter to teach us a lesson about ourselves!) Waiting on God doesn't mean do nothing or sit around and complain either!
Jesus says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7. Nowhere does it say ask, knock and sit around do nothing but complain!

There is also a time he will tell you to MOVE! We might not be sure exactly what he wants us to do but just walking in faith will help us know what direction he wants us to go. It doesn't mean we might make mistakes and we will be surprised by what God will reveal to us. I don't believe God wants us to be idle with our tongues nor our time. Everything we do should be to his Glory. When we do this we will walk closer to him and to the call on our lives.

What are you waiting for? Maybe you need to disconnect for awhile so God can help renew your mind and break free from strong holds or maybe he just want you to believe him and just start moving. Remember, Ask, seek and knock!

I want my kids heart to break for what breaks God's. How do we do that in a world that idols materialsim?

2011-11-13T10:47:00.000-05:00

Teaching our kids about giving and serving are one of the many seeds we want to plant in our kids hearts. First, it starts at your home, the church and then the community.

What do you do when the world is teaching our kids a completely different message? It's a battle that we have to be willing to fight. The one way is showing by example. A few years ago, a friend of mine inspired me when I found out during the harsh winters Michigan experiences she was making lunches and taking them to the homeless all on her own. We don't have to wait for our church to organize an outreach or event to participate in. ( I love my church and outreach ministry is huge! We serve not only the surrounding communities but to the world as well) But I want my kids to know they are the church. They can do anything God places on their hearts and they can make a difference even in their own community!

Most churches do amazing outreach but there really isn't anything for the kids to do. Yes, they can bring in can foods, help shop for clothes and toys for the people in need. You can talk about it with them and explain why it's so important but there is nothing compared to hands on experience. For them to see the hurt and suffering in the world. I don't believe they are to young for those seeds to be placed in their hearts.

We begin during Thanksgiving and hope this year we will continue this all year long. We started our lunchbox ministries! There was nothing more that made my heart beam last night as when my kids were sitting at the table making peanut butter sandwiches for the homeless. They never complained. They were so excited and they were talking about how we could get more families to help and how we could reach out to more people, pray, give out bibles and show them Jesus! That is success to me!! ( Now, please know we are by no means leave it to Beaver family! Just a few hours before Mark and I were playing football with the kids and all they did was yell, cry and complain. One wanted to be quarterback, one wanted to tackle the other one fell and cried! You get the picture!!! )

We will go out to the streets of Detroit today to hand out the lunches. I know many people think I'm wrong for taking my kids down there. I don't want them to live in fear.nor do I want them to think they are better than anyone else. Look, anyone one of us could be on the streets. All it takes is making a few wrong choices. I want their hearts to break for what breaks God's. Yes, mark and I use discernment and never put our kids in danger. We want our kids to Love like Jesus and that means to be risky too!

This year think of something you and your family can do to help make a difference. Remember you are the Church!

Say to that stinken Mountain MOVE!

2011-11-11T22:23:00.001-05:00

I refuse to go around, by, near or for that matter look at that mountain again. It just wasn't a mountain I was stuck on it was the entire mountain range. Not only was on stuck and going around and around I think I found myself sleeping on the dang thing. So, how do you begin to not repeating or making the same mistakes over and over again?

I hear so many people saying, "I will never do that, I never want to be like my mom or dad or I'm different I will not make the same mistakes as them, and then they do exactly what they intended never to do. Why is that? There are a few reasons but one reason I believe is self awareness. We can teach our kids all day long, do our daily activities around the house and tip toe around our marriage afraid to rock the boat and discuss real issues hoping our kids will be different, our marriage will bloom and the cycle from the generations before doesn't repeat. Guess what it does. It ends up slipping in.

If we don't look at our past and understand why we made our choices we made, look at our relationship with God, our parents especially our relationship with our dad and even the friends we surrounded ourselves with it the cycle will repeat whether its consciously or unconscioulsy. In order to break it you need God to help begin to reveal areas in your life that need healing. I will testify it is not easy. For many people it's hard to admit anything about their childhood. It's not saying you don't love your parents or you haven't forgiven them by looking at certain areas in your life. This is not about them its about you and living the promises God has for you.
I don't mean you have to look under a microscope and examine every area in your life. God will show you what you need to let go of and you don't have to share with the world or blog your life screw ups like I do! I'm just a little different. The reason I do because I hope by me being transparent can set someone else free. It can be just between you and God. Once you do you set yourself free from the curse being handed down to the next generation.
Self awareness is not easy but I've said it a million times that is why you need God. It's so much better than being stuck on that mountain peak. God is saying to you, "Say to this mountain Move from here to there." math 17:20. Believe it and tell that mountain to move for the last stinken time!

When Feeling inadequate God always reminds me of his grace.

2011-11-11T21:39:00.001-05:00

Mark and I have been praying for God to place amazing Godly families in our life. To bring the right teachers and friends not only for us but for our kids as well. We want to surround our self with people who just want so much more for their life. I don't mean more as in bigger house, nicer cars or taking elaborate vacations. ( I'm not saying there is anything wrong with those things, if God wants to bless us with those! I'm all for it if he decides to do so! You won't hear me complaining! Those THINGS are not our focus.) God is sure bringing those people to us. Its so refreshing to have people who are like minded, people who can love you enough to push you to grow.

Not only is God putting great families in our life, but he is surrounding me personally with Women who really get me! ( they are Angels to Mark! I love Friday's because I get together with some of these womean and we talk, talk and more talk! They are Angels to Mark because I think there is so much his ears can only take.) There is just something incredible that happens when a group of women on fire for God get together. It scares the crap out of the enemy! Some days after I leave these women, the kids are in bed, mark is sleeping and I'm alone I find myself feeling inadequate. Doubt starts to creep in and I wonder if I'm just screwing my kids up more! Its exactly what the devil wants us to believe. I fall to my knees asking God to help me and all my friends. To bring favor to those ones who are truly walking with you not to glorify us but so we can Glorify you. God I know you are looking for a peculiar person to answer your call. God, I don't know how much more peculiar we can be especially me! It's not easy going against the world. So many people are just waiting for your people to fail so they can point their fingers and laugh. God help the ones who are stuck and questioning their faith. God do amazing things so they can see you.

Today, As I was pouring my heart out to God and praying for my family, friends and giving him all by doubt, inadequacies and insecurities, He said loud and clear, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV. Get up, clear your tears and do what I've called you to do! I said, thank you Jesus for always reminding me. You are all we need nothing more and nothing less.

You Can Laugh all you want to! It's ok with me!

2011-11-09T16:42:00.000-05:00

I can't help but laugh at myself and at God. You may not agree with me but God is funny. He is also wild too! I know this because I'm wild at heart! I use to use it for bad and my own selfish pleasure but now I have learned how to use all that I have to life a life for him! I don't know about you but I'm having a blast! Life isn't easy but it sure is not boring anymore! Even sex with my husband is wild and fun!!!

Anyway, everything I write about is so the opposite of who I use to be. Sure, I had a good additude most of time if you didn't tick me off! I thought positive expect about my husband and people who would get on my nerves! I didn't see anything wrong with not being pure even with your thoughts. ( Until God gave me children and boy did I realize I needed to change!) I never thought I would write about purity for my children, respecting your husband, living God's dream not yours! The list can go on and on! I believed in God but it took time for me to know him! I know God was looking at me and saying its going to take this one a long time! She is stubborn, hard headed and learns slowly!!! Thankfully, he didn't give up on me.
Its amazing how he took my heart and changed it so drastically! If there are sceptics or critiques that read my blog its ok! I use to be one too! I know I have friends that think I have lost my mind. It's ok. Years ago I use to think the same thing about people like me! I just didn't know any better. I you think I'm stupid for living my life the way I am or you want to call me names, I can handle it! Because thankfully, I know who I am in Christ and nothing else matter!

How can you begin to renew your realtionship with your children or spouse?

2011-11-09T16:29:00.001-05:00

Before I write anymore blogs, there is something that is on my heart that I need to express. I know I write all kinds of life lessons on here, but please know they are NEVER to CONDEMN anyone. I know many people who have come to know Christ later in their life and they regret so many choices they have made especially regarding their marriage, parenting and how they mislead their family. Also, I know Christians who were so caught up with RELIGION and RULES they forgot about the relationship part one with God and the other with their family. They only talked the talk but didn't walk it and they to hold on to past mistakes and now find their kids far from the heart of God.

If this is you remind yourself about God's grace. He has forgiven you and given you a new begining. He has given you a new life and with time I pray you can begin to forgive yourself.

Renewing your relationship with your kids or spouse may be one of your biggest priorities. However, they can't get out of their head the old you and all the memories. They have every wall up and refuse to let you get close. There is Hope. God can renew the relationship and make your family closer than it ever has before. It will NOT be EASY and there is a chance they will never let you in. You need to hold on to hope and God's promises. Remember they have free will too. They can either choose to forgive you or not, its really up to them. Here is some simple steps that may help heal the pain and begin to open the door

Pray, pray and pray! You need the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
Humble yourself before your spouse or children. Openly admit to them you screwed up and you are sorry. ( if you are in a physically or mental abusive relationship, please seek help asap)
Let them see the light of Christ working in your life. Let them know you are not perfect but are working on making things better. Don't just let your words be words but let them see by your actions.
Be patient! Don't expect the first time you talk with them that everything will be like Roses! It will might get worse before it gets better. There will be many discussion you will need to have. It takes time.
Let them express what ever they need to say. Don't be afraid of confrontation. It might hurt but that is why you need to be in prayer and need God and know this is part of the healing process.
focus on the good. Don't CONDEMN them. I know many Christians who mess this up. Now that they are a new creation in Christ they begin telling others what is wrong with them or how they are messing things up. This is called Christian Pride. Think about your journey and how long it took you. You made some stupid mistakes too but Jesus still accepts, love and works on you every day. Love like Jesus
They may not be able it from you! Your relationship with them might get better but they still can't grasp Church or having a realtionhsip with Christ. Pray that God will bring someone in their life they can here it from. Pray God can soften their heart and give them new eyes so they can see the new you!
Remember the word is relationship. It takes time, patience's, love and Hope.

Don't give up as hard as it may be. I don't have all the answers and don't pretend to have them but I do know it doesn't matter who you are and what age you are hearing your sorry and I love you from your parents never gets old.

Are you buying the Lies?

2011-11-08T20:44:00.000-05:00

Stop buying into the lies! The more I read God's word the more I realize all the stuff the world tries to seduce us with. Having you believe there is something wrong with you becasue you aren't living according to the world standards.

One of the lies being fed to us is living YOUR dream. You might be saying wait a minute Kim. You talk about finding your purpose all time and running after it with all your heart. Yes, I do but there is something wrong with the statement above. It involves the words YOUR dream instead of God's dream or purpose.

I've heard people say and agree with to some degree that the biggest tragedy in life is dying with your gifts and talents inside of you. You never tapped into your true potential. See, people often screw that all up. Yes, it is a tragedy becasue God has given us so much and not to use our talents is a slap in his face. But people often forget about God's desire and dreams for their life. Instead we push him aside and want it to be all about me. What's in it for me, is what most people ask themselves. It becomes all about me. My dream, My life and My desires. When we focus on MY dream what ends up happening is we end up sacrificing relationships, family and our own dignity just to please the world.

Yes, we need dreams. Yes, we should be living a life worth living. We should be living a life of purpose. In order to do that we need to die to ourselves. We need to stop asking God what can you do for me. Instead we need to submit to him and ask him What can I do for you. God's design for you life is way bigger than your puny dream could ever be. You won't have to sell yourself short, give into to sin or find yourself empty or alone after acheiving what the world is trying to offer you.

I believe one of the biggest life's tragedy is getting to the end of your life and realize the one you were running from was the who was trying to save you. Accepting Christ in your life is the ultimate goal even if it is when you take your last breath. However, one of the tragedies that even Christians make is dying not living God's perfect design and dream for your life. Don't chase the world's dream find Christ and his perfect will for you. Live God's dream not yours!

Teaching my kids to be pure. Can it be done?

2011-11-08T20:43:00.000-05:00

Well, Mark and I are getting ready to start a new season in our life. It's called the teenage years. We still have at least two more years until those hormones start kicking in but we are getting ready NOW!

We are doing something very different to what the world is teaching young kids today about dating and sex. We are actually teaching our kids about purity and saving yourself for marriage. Now, I'm sure there are people reading this and laughing at me thinking this will never happen. I have news for you, we are not buying into that lie either. I never bought into the terrible two's or horrible three's and I'm not about to buy into my daugher will be disrespectful, rebellious and boy crazy. Could she yeah there is a chance but not if Mark and I train/teach our kids with LOVE and LIVE by the same standards and show them by example.

I will admit teaching my kids about purity is not something I have any idea about becasue let's face it. I did not live that way. Both Mark and I don't want our kids to make the same mistakes as we did. We both hate the fact that we never saved ourselves for each other. I've been reaching out to other families who share the same values and learning from them. I'm reading and doing what ever we can so we can be prepared to lead our kids a completly different way the world is teaching. Is it going to be easy. HECK NO! But I believe the only way we will be successful at this is if we have self awareness ourselves. We can't teach something if we don't truly understand why we made the choices we made. ( let me tell you...God has revealed so much to me these past years and shed the guult, shame and broke me from many strong holds. There will be a book about it and I know God will have it on the best seller list!!! I know there are more woman feeling the way I did and marriages struggling. I know what God has taught me can help someone else have a major break through!!!) It goes deeper than just I don't want my kids to make the same mistakes. If there is no self awareness, goals for your family and are not prepared to tackle some of life's challengs then the world will eat your kids alive! The world takes no mercy. We love our kids and our marriage to much to let anyone come and take it away. We will fight this fight and people can laugh all they want. How great will it be when my kids save there heart for the one God brings them and they have no regret, heart aches or shame attached to them. There will never be the question did he or she really want me.

I'm calling on all my friends who want the same for their son's and daughters. We need to come together, support and learn from each other. It won't be easy but with God on our side it can be done!

Is there such thing as Guilt free parenting?

2011-11-05T20:08:00.001-04:00

If you are a Christian and homeschooling parent, there tends to be more pressure on us and how we are raising our children. The world is anxiously waiting for either the parent or child to screw up, so they can point there fingers and tell you," I told you so."

For my husband and I, we are always discussing and re-evaluating our life and how we are training our kids and being the model for them. Just when we think we know something, God takes us to a new season in our life. Training your kids into today's world, is not easy. With everything coming at you from TV, video games, music, clothing to the friends your children are exposed to is a full time job alone. I pray all the time and ask God to not let me grow weary. To keep me strong in this race to train and raise kids with Godly character. At times, I can feel like I'm going over board and all alone. I begin to doubt and question myself as mother? Then I let my guard down. But because God is so faithful, just when those ideas begin to pop in my head, he sends me simple reminders. It can be a encouraging word from my husband, my parents or dear friends. It can be a conference or a sermon a church. He even sends me reminders when I turn on the TV briefly and see all the crap that is out there. He whispers to me, "I'm not expecting perfection my dear child. Nobody is perfect, keep learning and growing and being the example you are to my children."

Do I know everything about parenting? Absolutely not! Here are a few things I've learned along the way. Hopefully, it can be a reminder to you, to give yourself grace and remember training your children isn't something that happens overnight.

We serve God first. He is the leader of our family and we go to his word and prayer for direction. My kids understand with their heart it's not just mom and dad laying down the rules. It's God. We as parents have the same rules and guidelines to live by as they do.

I surround myself and look for guidance from other families that I admire. However, I don't want to be them. I can learn from others but ultimately God has the finally say. Some people might not agree with me and how we train and raise our kids. I'm OK with that because I'm not living to please man only God!

I look at my kids heart. They make mistakes all the time they are not perfect, but I know their heart. When they ask for forgiveness and truly mean it, find forgiveness and truly understand the lesson learned, there is peace in my heart.
We can't be afraid to discipline with love. As much as you may think they don't, They want discipline in their life. They may test you on it but its our job to follow through, give them structure and not cave in as tough as it may be.
I try really hard to not be so hard on myself if they disobeyed in public when they know better. I would get upset not because of what they did but what others would think of me. I find women in general especially in the church can be very critical. I would get mad at the kids because of my own pride and ego and miss the teaching moment with my child.

Its a process and to celebrate the good qualities the kids do and not always the negative. Not saying we don't don't about the negative but to focus more on the positive and be honest with them.

God is not in a box. He is alive, wild and in love with them. He has such a bigger plan and purpose for each one of our lives. When we live in obedience to him, to trust him and really know him. It's not just about rules. It's about love and relationship.

Does this mean we don't have areas in our life we need to work on? Just the opposite. It's never ending and we as parents never stop learning. It's an adventure that I love being on. Doesn't mean it's easy and doesn't mean I don't cry or question myself at times. But there isn't anting more I want to see is my kids growing up to love and serve the Lord and not make the same mistakes and there dad and I have made.

Will the guilt go away? I wish I could tell you yes. But as we grow closer to God, I think you may find the answer is yes. But don't forget there is an enemy out there that wants to condemn you. Remember, God doesn't condemn he convicts but with Love. He is so good. I'm thankful for his grace and mercy. Remember, God has grace on us. We need to stop beating ourselves up. Yes, we can always improve and get better, but also celebrate where we have came and were we are going. To always give Grace to our kids as well...

Dealing with insecurity? You are not alone!

2011-10-26T20:37:00.001-04:00

Here I am in Love with God more than I ever have been in my life, studying his word and living for him. Yet, insecurity still haunts me. God has helped me overcome many obstacles in my life, set me free from strongholds, made me take a deeper look at myself, healed my marriage, basically changed my life from the inside out. So, why then do I still struggle with the thoughts of not good enough and afraid of failing God.

As God has been working on me, I felt the calling to women's ministry a few years ago. Though, God told me it wasn't time yet, to keep learning. Recently, I have been feeling him tugging at my heart telling me its time to start. I've been using different excuses but he keeps telling me its time to move forward! I'm so fired up on the calling on my life. I love learning about God, teaching and sharing Jesus with women. Even though I may know these things in the deepest part of my heart, the minuet I walk outside my house or in a church, I feel so unworthy. I've had the discussion with God many times and maybe you have had the same talk. Why me? Why did you make me the way I am? Why did you make me so different? At times, I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. Did you have to give me such a big mouth! (Thankful he has helped me learn how to use it for Good because for years all it did was get me in trouble!)

I think he has gotten tired of my baby fits and whining! The enemy wants us to feed our insecurities because it takes us away from the promises God wants for our life. God keeps telling me and he is telling you the same if you just listen, he loves us, he delights in us! He have gifted each one of us for a reason and for his purposes. I have to keep remembering that and to be thankful the way he made me even if others around me might not like it! He will keep working on me and changing me as he wants to. Until then God has told me its time to get a move on!

Here I am! Despite all doubts and struggles I have I am learning to accept his gifts, the calling on my life and to know its not arrogant or prideful to know who you are in Christ. God has opened a door to begin a women's group at a local library. I don't know what his plans are, if it is to teach me humility because nobody showed up this week! Is it to trust him and just start walking? Is it to help me focus each week on different topics so I can dive deeper in his word? Is it so I keep giving all my insecurities over to him? I believe yes to all the questions. I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing this to Glorify my God. Everyone has a beginning and God says if we stay faithful, walk by faith and not by sight and do good with what he has given us then more will come. My heart is to help other women just like me.

.

Taking a Break This Summer!

2011-08-23T13:32:00.000-04:00

This has been by far one of my best summer's ever! The craziest thing is I didn't really do anything! I took a break from just about everything! Well, except for taking care of my family! I didn't have the kids signed up in a million activities. Markus and Marcia did their usual Karate with mark and Makenna continues to do gymnastics of course! We did fun activities around the house. The kids had . their friends over and had many sleep overs and we even made a trip to cedar point. I was able to connect with a few friends, though not as many as I would of liked to have seen. There are still some people I tried to make plans with but becasue of everyone's schedule it just hasn't worked out yet!

In one sense I was busy this summer with every day living with four kids, but this type of "busy" is what I love! What I took a break from was all the other unnecessary things I didn't have to do or the time I was spending on FB! My mind was begining to fill up with clutter. I was getting irritable and not spending the time with God that I really wanted to be spending. It was time to disconnect and get quite, which is not an easy task for me. I really felt God wanting me to do this again. I needed a clear mind to hear from Him.

If you find yourself stressed, overwhelmed, trying to find out what decision to make, kids are driving you crazy or your marriage needs help, try taking sometime for yourself. There has to be a few things in your schedule that you don't have to do. I didn't have to ck FB every morning, evening and sometimes a few times during the day! You want to talk about cluttering your mind! Why do we really need to know what time someone is using the bathroom or going to the store? Don't get me wrong, I like FB and connecting with friends but at this point in my life I wanted to hear what God was saying more than the 200 friends were thinking and most of them I don't really even know!

God took these past few weeks and came through once again. Every time there is a lesson learned don't get to comfortable because he isn't done with you yet! There are more coming your way. I learned what Love truly means. I learned on what it means to wait on God and he taught me in the funniest ways too! He helped me to understand how much he loves me and how to give myself grace. It's ok to mess up! He is teaching me to let Him do the work and not me. All I have to do is follow and do what he is asking me to do. I can't wait to write about all the lessons he has taught me and hopefully through my mess, it will bless you! If you feel like your head is going to pop at any given moment or you just would like to have five minutes to yourself or to be even to use the bathroom alone, take those as signs. Its time to take a breather and break from all the unnecessary appointments in your life or even from FB and hear from God! I am so excited on what he is doing in me and through me and that could only happen when we take time and listen.

Is it really hard being baby number 4?

2011-06-24T10:42:00.001-04:00

Marie is turning 11 months on the 30th and her first birthday is just around the corner. However, I haven't a clue on what we are going to do for her. It's funny how things change from the first child to the fourth! I remember having Makenna's first birthday and had it planned a few months ahead of time or at least I had an idea of what I wanted to do. I think we invited everyone we knew!! Then as we had Markus and Marcia the parties became smaller and smaller!

Sometimes I feel like Marie and sometimes Marcia gets the short end of the stick. Especially Marie. I've only taken her once to get her pictures taken since she was born. Makenna and Markus had their pictures taken every 3 months and even marcia had her pictures taken a few times too! Marie has gotten more hand me downs than any of the other kids, barely any new toys (who needs toys when there is remote controls, pots and pans and cupboard doors!) The video camera doesn't get turned on as much but who as time because we are on the go Marie spent her first year in her car seat! ( not so much but it did seem like it at times) and the pictures we have taken are still sitting in the camera waiting to get printed. Makenna and Markus have tons of scrapbooks and baby books and Marie only has her name printed on the front of the book.

But with saying all that, I also look at all the love she recieves. She has two sisters and a brother that loves her more than life itself. Mark and I are in such a better place mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We are not so high strung like we were when Makenna was little and our marriage has been restored like I can't explain. God is the center of our life and our vision for our family is even larger than it was 10 years ago when Makenna was born. I've chilled out in so many ways and learned so many life lessons and because of that Marie benefits from it greatly ( so do the other kids) . We love Marie as much as we love all the other kids and couldn't imagine our life without here.

Actually, I don't really think she has missed out being number four. She receives so much love and at the end of the day "stuff" really doesn't matter. Yes, she doesn't have her own room and when she gets married one day and we want to put a collage of pictures together of her life, I might have to borrow pictures from my friends or find pictures of the kids and tell her it is her ( thank goodness they all look alike) and she can tease Mark and I and say how she never had as much as her big brother and sisters. But if mark and I do our job as parents she will know that things aren't important and she will know without a doubt how much God,Mark and I love her with ever bit of our heart....It all depends on how you look at life. Being number four isn't has bad as it looks even if she doesn't get the party of the year!!!

The experience with ear piercing!

2011-06-22T21:51:00.003-04:00

Today, was a big day in the Watt family! Makenna and Marcia decided to get their ear's pierced. Mark and I made the decision when they were born to wait until they were old enough to take care of their ear's by themselves. Also, we wanted them to remember the day and have it be a special memory. We wanted it to be their choice. The age we decided on was 7. Makenna wanted nothing to do it with it but Marcia has been waiting patiently. She would of had them pierced at 3 years old! Finally, Makenna said she wanted them pierced but only with Marcia. So, we decided to let them both do this together! It was hilarious.

First, Markus hates the sight of blood and the thought of needles makes him go nuts! You would of though it was him that was getting his ear's pierced! He thought there would be blood after they shoot his sisters ear's with the piercing gun. He was screaming in the back ground, "I can't look! It's going to hurt! I don't want to see blood! You would have to be there, because we were laughing so hard.

Makenna would not go first she started having second thoughts, so Marcia hopped up on the chair and said I'm ready lets do this! As the lady was getting ready to pierce her ear she did an in to out block! ( I think that is what you call it) Her karate instructors would of been so proud! She said, "WAIT" I have to talk to my mom. She whispers in my ear, "you did this when you were a kid, right?" I said, "Yes." She said, Ok, I'm ready!" After it was all over with and she saw how cute she looks with the earrings, she said, "I'm ready to this again!" (BTW, we were at the mall and marcia was wearing her bathing suit and her matching skirt and tennis shoes! so cute!)

Makenna was a different story. She said her stomach was hurting and was so nervous. She decided to do it and held my hand so tight! After, she said it wasn't that bad!!

It was a big day for the girls but a bigger day for Mark and I. As we looked at them and just admired how beautiful our daughters ( markus is a handsome boy too!) are and how grown up they look with their sparkle in their ears, we realized not only will they never forget this moment and neither will we. I think I saw a little tear in Mark's eye's. We both know and see our first baby girl getting ready to enter a new chapter of her life. Our kids are growing up and mark and are growing with them. It's a beautiful thing, but man it can just tug at your heart because it just goes by so fast....

2011-06-19T22:52:00.001-04:00

Taking some time and reflecting on the past 13 years of my marriage and father's day. It amazes me how time really does go by so fast. I look at my 4 kids and see them growing up right before my eyes. Yes, it is very exciting but at the sametime I want to scream and cry because it seems like it was yesterday that I was the little girl asking my dad on Saturday nights to go bike riding up to the coney island to see my mom at work! It seems like yesterday my mom tucking my brother and I in at night and giving me those mom talks that have continued into my adult life! It seems like yesterday, it was my dad teaching me how to bounce a basketball and now it's my husband teaching our kids. Life hasn't been easy but I'm so thankful for everything in my life. You would think after homeschooling the kids and being with them all day everyday that I would be so excited to have them grow up and get out of the house, but it's actually the oppostie. I know how fast life goes by and I never want to grow weary or loose focus on what life is truly about. I have an amazing dad and husband that loves me so much, but who I reall need to thank is my heavly father because it is him who has given me so much life especially when I didn't deserve it. He has loved me and continues to love me and helps me grow to be a better wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend. Even when I didn't realize he was next to me, he still loved me.Thank you for changing me .Thank you for every minute of my life, for the family and friends you have blessed me with, for the good and hard times becasue in those desparte times is where I have always found you. Thank you God for all amazing blessings you have given me. Sometimes, I may forget and get stressed out over something very trivial but you always remind me what life is all about.

Commencement Speech- Professional Speaker Kim Watt

2011-06-09T23:45:00.003-04:00

Its amazing how God works! I haven't spoken in front of a large audience over a year or two and last night I began to freak out! I prayed and asked God do I really have to do this? If so, he better be with me and give me the words to speak.

I know this is to much information but when I woke up this morning I had the signs of speaking!!! Every time I speak I have stomach aches and gas!!! As weird as this sounds I welcomed those feelings because I knew I was getting ready to do something that I love doing. There is something that happens to me as I walk on a stage and have an opportunity to speak and connect with an audience. It's as though my soul comes alive! Besides being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, niece and friend ( I think I have them all covered!) there is no where else I would rather be than on stage using my God given talents and glorifying God!

See, God whispered to me today and reminded me that I was created for more and yes the season I'm in right now is extremely important and I love being a stay at home mom. God reminded me if I stay focused in due time I will be able to get out there and speak again and I can't wait!

As you listen to this, there is a mistake when talking about the death of my best friend. I meant to say she died two months prior to graduation and instead I said she passed away three months ago.

Thank you Jesus for the simple reminder never to give up! Let me know what you think....

Can you really feed a family on $100.00 per week?

2011-04-06T17:22:00.002-04:00

Grocery shopping can be a pain and costly. However, if you are serious about wanting to make extra money and willing to CHANGE, then one of the answers can be as simply looking in you refrigerator or kitchen cabinets! If you want to save money or make money it is time to start trimming the fat from your life and it can start with grocery shopping!

One of my mentors put me to this challenge 1 1/2 ago. (she is a Christian, married, mother of 5 an a self-made millionaire! . If you want to debt free, have a better relationship or open a business, then get people in your life you can learn from. You don't want to be them but learn what they have done.) It has taken me this long to get it down! However, with a little attitude adjustment and willing to change, we have saved lots of money and are no longer in debt! ( I should say no longer in debt minus the house)

Cooking is not my favorite nor am I good at it and I love to eat out! However, I knew this wasn't healthy, good on the pocket book nor was it teaching my kids on how to be wise with their money or how to run a house hold. I pulled up my big girl pants and was willing to do what needed to be done!

I have saved money and this is without coupons but as soon as my sister in law teaches me how to save money with coupons I will be saving even more money!!!

Challenge yourself to 100.00 per week for groceries! I know it sounds nut but it can be done. How bad do you want to go on that vacation? How bad do you want to start a small business? How bad do you want to stay at home with your kids or pay off your credit card? If it is bad enough, well you can do it!

Here is what I do:
1. Obviously, make a list and plan for only a week! ( I say obviously, but a few years ago, I never made a list and just bought whatever I wanted and way too much and that is gluttony. We should only be buying what we really need. (for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothe them in rags. Proverbs 23:21)

2. A friend of mine told me a few years ago, how she only shops on the outside aisle and never in the middle. I buy a few things in the middle aisle but only a few.

3. stop buying all that crappy junk food! I buy snacks but try to stay focused on healthy snacks. If you have a sweet tooth bake! Think about it, if you have to bake your cookies you are not going to be eating them everyday because it takes time and work! It cuts down on cost and your waist line! ( we are lucky Mark works for a baking company, so when we want store bought doughnuts he can surprise us and bring them home! Also, I try to keep Mark away from grocery shopping too! He would buy more snacks and less healthy food!!!)

4. No more boxed food! once I learned what is in all of that, I stay away. If I have to buy something in a box,I try to buy organic.

5. By cutting down on buying snacks, junk and more than I need, I'm able to buy organic milk, fruit, eggs and cereal.

It's really not hard at all it just takes discipline and work! Stop eating out and start cooking at home. Maybe you are reading this and say DA Kim!! If so, you rock! Unfortunately, evn though I may have known these things, I was off course and thankful for the people God put in my life to help get me back on track!

Remember, "Luke 16:10 Anyone who can be trusted in little matters can also be trusted in important matters. But anyone who is dishonest in little matters will be dishonest in important matters." This applies to how and where we spend our money and yes even at the grocery store matters to God!

Is God trying to shut the door and why?

2011-04-06T10:00:00.002-04:00

I couldn't agree more with the devotional I read on FB this morning. The title, "When God Closes the Door." I don't know about you but that is sometimes really hard to understand at times, let go and follow God's lead especially when it is something we love doing, been doing for years or when you KNOW God has placed a dream on your heart but yet he just hasn't opened the door you want to be opened yet!

If you read my blogs, you may or may not know what I'm passionate about and what dreams God has placed on my heart. A few years ago, he gave me a glimpse of what he wants me to do, but he knew I only believed in him and he needed me to have a relationship with him. He didn't just shut the door he slammed it! I didn't want to give that dream up because I felt like I was failing or quitting. God spoke to me, ( not in a way were I heard his voice! I felt it in my spirit loud and clear and in his word) He told me it wasn't time yet, to wait on him and for me not to be tempted to push myself out there just to prove to other people what HE has called me to do. Wait on him and so I am. (waiting on him doesn't mean I'm just sitting here and doing nothing either! I'm studying, reading, and let God work on me everyday. So when he calls and says it times, I'm ready! Whatever you are facing, don't stop working on yourself and your relaionship with God.)

But let me tell you, if I didn't listen to him and kept on pushing and pursuing a dream on my time, I would of missed the biggest blessing I could ever ask for and that is homeschooling my kids. I could never of imagined myself doing this and yet God did. It's not a glamours job and the world may not know my name but my kids sure do know who their mom is and I definitely know my kids too!

If God is trying to shut a door, especially if it is with something you love. It doesn't mean it is over. It just means he has something better for you or he just has to do some work in you first! Trust God and just keep moving forward! I know that sounds easier than it really is. We have to let go of whatevery one else thinks and get rid of our big ego's! As soon as you do, you will be amazed by what God will bring in your life! God knows before I can go out and speak his word, He needs to work on me and for me to pay attention to what matters first and that is God,my husband and kids! At the end of the day that is all that really matters...

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Are you Nagging your marriage to death?

2011-03-07T11:32:00.001-05:00

Have you ever looked at your spouse and could point out a million things wrong with him or her? You try to point things out or nag him to deaf because you know if he could just let YOU fix HIM the way you want, life would be so much better! What about when it seems like everyone else around you is driving you nuts! You see everyone Else's faults and failures, but never take a second to look at yourself. You think it has to be the everyone else, it couldn't possibly be you!

I have news for you, its called PRIDE! There was a time in my life when everything and everyone drove me nuts! I could tell you what was wrong with everyone even our dog, but thought I was doing just fine! What a JOKE! I nagged my husband to death and could only focus and only saw the negative. I couldn't focus on everything awesome he was doing. There were time I would say to God, I think I made a mistake. I don't think I was suppose to marry Mark. I was suppose to marry a man that was more successful, had bigger dreams. Basically, I was blaming my husband because I was not happy with me.

Then one day, I was listening to one of my favorite speakers Dani Johnson and what she said smacked me right in my face. She asked, how would you treat the man of your dreams? Would you get yourself up in the morning and make yourself look good for him? Would you cook for him? Would you ask him how his day was after when he came home from work? Would you treat him like a King? All kinds of thoughts entered my head! She then said, No you wouldn't. You wouldn't treat him any better than you are treating your husband now. Sooner or later it would get old and you would find something wrong with him too. Its not about changing him, its about changing you. The husband you are married to is that man if you would only begin to see him the way God See's him. If you only knew what God plans for his life. You need to treat him like the King God has called him to be.

Once I stopped trying to fix everyone else especially my husband and began to focus on me, my life changed and so did my marriage. We can't fix anyone, we can only love and let God. do the fixing. We need to love people right where they are in life. Once you can stop taking everything so personal and realize that we are all hurt and all at different walks in our life, you will begin to be able to love people and accept them for who they are. (This doesn't mean you will always like everyone or even have to agree with someone. But I do believe the stronger we build our relationship with God, we begin to see people the way God see's them.)

FYI: The more I nagged Mark the farther apart we became. Once he started seeing me change and stopped nagging him, he began to open up and let God change him! God has brought us together now than we ever have been before. I'm not trying to be his mom or to fix him. Instead we are best friends walking together hand and hand.

Pride is a tricky. You really want to make sure you are asking God to search your heart to make sure pride doesn't sneak in. Because Pride does come before the fall. I don't know about you, but I'm tired of falling down!!! Please know, I don't write these things because I think I'm better than anyone else because I don't. I only share these things because it is what God placed on my heart. Trust me, without God I'm a mess and thankful everyday for my savior Jesus Christ because with out him, I'm nothing....

What does Pride look like and is it killing you?

2011-03-03T17:51:00.000-05:00

Pride was one of the major reason that kept me from living the dream God has placed on me on many different levels. I could never figure out why certain things kept showing up in my life. Why I couldn't get out of the hole that I was in. It just seemed like it was getting deeper and deeper. Saying you have a dream, takes more than just waking up and saying I have a dream! We all have dreams of living a better life but lets face it most of us are not willing to do the work on ourselves. We would rather complain, blame everyone else, hold grudges or surround ourselves with people who will tell us what we want to hear. (Those people are telling you what you want to hear because they don't want you to change. They want you to stay the same so they have someone to hang out with! They don't want you to become better because it will make them feel uncomfortable with themselves. This doesn't just go on in the world, it goes on in the church as well.)
Once you realize what Pride is, what it looks like and break free from it, you will see your life change. God has been working diligently on me these last few years. It seemed like once one life lesson was learned he had five more waiting in line! Seriously, I was feeling like I was schizoprhatic at times. I heard one of my mentors say, "God is trying to refine you, so you won't destroy you." It is so true! How awesome is that when you think about it! He has a huge plan for your life, if you let him do the work on you. He doesn't want to see you get hurt or burned anymore!

I know many people who have huge dreams and want to do make every second of their life count, but they keep making the same stupid mistakes. Most of what is holding you back from financial freedom, successful marriage, better relationship with your kids, going after a dream of yours, is PRIDE!

Trust me the reason I can write about this, is because I was very prideful. Just in my every day life there was pride. I cared more about what others thought of me than I did my husband, my kids and most importantly God. I wanted to be accepted and was looking for approval from man. (FYI: God already loves you and you are already accepted just the way you are.) I had to have the latest phone so people thought I was cool, I had to go and spend top dollar on my hair so I could look good,( I couldn't go somewhere and not have my makeup or hair done. What if someone would see me. If you want to see if there is any pride in your heart, ask yourself if you could go out in public with no makeup and hair a mess? I think it is important to look good and take care of yourself, but if is to try to impress others, then there is a problem.) I had to get my nails done, spend money on clothes for the kids and myself that we really didn't need, drive a new car, live in a certain neighbor hood and the list can go on and on. I wanted others to think I was successful! Yes, Mark made some great money, but it was never enough and we spent more than we had. Why, because we were caught up in what the world says success looks like! Maybe we looked like we had it all going on from the outside, but inside was a different story.

Pride even kept me from stepping out and doing what God has placed on my heart. What if nobody likes me? What if I offend someone by what I say? What if nobody ever buys my book ( BTW the book will be done sooner now than later), what if nobody comes to hear me speak? Take this blog, for an example. If you only knew the head game that went inside my head! I knew once I starting writing, there would be many people out there laughing and making fun of me! Guess what, I don't fear man instead I fear God! His opinion is much more important to me than any persons will ever be! So, if you have similar questions going on in your head then you need to ask yourself what and who are you really doing it for?

I can write on and on about pride, which I will share a few more blogs on in the next couple of weeks. But if pride is something God is trying to work on you with, just know it is only because he loves you. The last thing you want to do is get in more debt, or become debt free and get back in debt because you haven't learned the lessons, put in years in your marriage to have your marriage fail,(which BTW marriage takes two. If your spouse isn't willing to work with you and together or your marriage has ended in divorce, just make sure you learn the life lessons so you don't repeat it in your next relationship or pass it down to your children.) or never live with peace, love and joy in your life. It will take looking at yourself deeper and not caring about the 98% of the population is doing, unless you like being miserable and broke!

People really can change!!!

2011-02-25T23:39:00.001-05:00

For those of you who are praying for change, think someone can't change or praying someone you love comes to know Christ, there is hope!

If you would of told me three years ago, my dad would be in Cambodia talking about Jesus, I would of said you are smoking something! I could always see my mom doing something like that but not so sure about my dad! MAYBE going to Cambodia but not the preaching about Jesus!!! (my parents believed in God but didn't know him and we didn't grow up with God as the center of our lives.I'm not talking about religion either. It doesn't matter what religion you are, what matters is if you believe in Jesus and truly knowing him will change your life forever.)

See, God knows what he is doing and if you don't give up and keep praying and seeking God, he answers prayers. , he will begin to wake you up and begin to pull you closer to him and when he does don't shut your eyes because it will be the most incredible thing that will ever happen to you! As he begins to tug on your heart, you may even resist and begin to kick and scream because you are afraid of change. Trust me, don't turn your back. Listen and begin to walk with God! I know that freaks people out, but it is the truth! Just because you have God in your life now, doesn't mean you can't have fun anymore either!! It doesn't mean you will be all weird, like me!!! However, it doesn't mean it will be an easy ride, because when you begin to live for God, all kinds of crazy stuff will enter you head especially doubt, fear and people making fun of you! (Once you are tired of living to please everyone else and wanting more for your life, those thoughts begin to slowly go away and soon you can tell them to shut up when they try to creep back in your head again. It is just the enemy trying to stop you from growing closer to God and its your job not to feed them. ) My dad and I have even gotten in some heated arguments these past few years about faith and God but My mom never gave up on my dad. I've seen some awesome changes in my dad! I thank God everyday and the funny thing is God knows exactly what to do to get our attention and to listen to him. I guess he knew he had to take my dad across the ocean to a third world country for him to really hear him!!! What ever it takes! It has not been a dull ride since mark, myself and my parents rededicated our lives to Christ, but it has been worth every single moment.

My dad has been posting a few comments on his fb page and I can already tell by his post what God is doing in him. It just blows my mind how awesome God is and I'm just so thankful for all he is doing in my parents especially my dad! He was no easy nut to crack!

Don't give up on the people you love. Remember we are all at different walks and stages in our lives. Give it to God and he will do the work! If he can change my family he can change anyone!!!

Here is what he posted this afternoon:
Sunny and hot . What i seen today was hard for me to take . Shedding tears and feeling so sad for theses kids . Debbie and I hope we can reach out to other christian churches, Friends and our family to be able to share what we have learn and seen from this trip.

For my friends in Michigan the weather is cold but your kids are sa...fe

Lets pray for the Kids Here in Cambodia

When we need to slow things down a bit

2011-02-22T23:25:00.000-05:00

Finally, kids are in bed, mark is watching the MSU basketball game and I just finished reading a book called, "Heaven is for Real." It's a great and easy read. I just picked it up at Target on Sunday and finished it today.

After a really busy two weeks, it was time to pull the plug on all activities and get our life back to normal. I love doing things with the kids. I especially love helping my kids develop their God given talents and watch them use them, but it is important that they understand that all outside activities outside the house are privileges and I refuse to let gymnastics, karate, friends and even volunteering at church rule our life. There is nothing wrong with any of those things as long as we the parents keep our priorities balanced and be able to recognize when life is getting a little out of control.

In our family it is God, family and then whatever comes next. If my kids can't get along with each other, do their share in the house and we are to busy to sit down and eat together as a family, then a big red flag goes up. I understand sometimes we are busier than other days, but its so important to regroup as a family and that is exactly what we did today.

Normally, the kids have their share to do around the house everyday or they don't go anywhere. But since the last two weeks were special occasions, things around the house were a little chaotic then normal. It was a great day to catch up on school, clean the house, kids played with just each other. ( i believe is so important. Kids don't always have to have something going on or be entertained.) I didn't burn dinner and we were able to make homemade ice cream! Marie really enjoyed not having to go anywhere too! She had fun rolling around the floor and grabbing and wanting everything the kids had out!!!

Some days we mom's have to say NO and regroup our families and ourselves. If we are ragged and run down then the entire house feels it. Be careful that your kids outside activities, as much as you love being a part of them, are not running you and your family.

My Prayer Tonight

2011-02-19T23:14:00.000-05:00

Dear God,

Thank you so much for all that you have done in my life not only the good but the ugly to. Everything that has happened in my life has helped me get where I'm at today and that is with a relationship with you. God my prayer tonight is that you use mark,the kids and me in anyway you need to bring light to this dark world and that you will be able to use us to bring more people to know and love you. I pray that we will do whatever you ask us to do to bring glory to your name. I know God that there are people that will be reading this blog and might think this is weird or that I have lost my mind because of the love I have for you, but God I hope you can help open their heart and mind to turn to you and not to this world. I pray that they don't let people and even other Christians stand in their way to know you that they understand that we are human and we will always make mistakes but not to focus on people but you God. People will always fail but you are always faithful even in our darkest moments. I pray that during good and bad times not only do you help mark and I stay focus on you and to continue to grow deeper but you help others know that there is nothing better in this life than living for you. I pray that people know that living for you is anything but boring. Its freedom and its so exciting! It gives life so much more meaning and purpose. God, I know I have so many prayers and so many things I want to do with my life for you but the one thing that means more to me than whether I speak your word, write a book, go on mission trips, make money, go on vacation, etc., is that my kids will always know your son Jesus Christ and live for him and him alone, I pray Mark and I do our job as parents to help them grow their faith. The one thing Mark and I want is when we die and go to heaven we want our kids to be with us there one day too. I pray that my family, friends and people you put in our lives will know and love you too because not only do I want them to have heaven on earth today but I also want to spend eternity with them too. Yes, even the people who drive me nuts! God I pray that whoever is hurting tonight that they ask you into their heart and to know they are not alone. God I ask that you restore relationships between husbands and wives, parents and kids, families and friends. I ask all of this in your mighty name Jesus!

God, thank you for loving me enough to give me ears to hear you and for forgiving me and changing me in ways that I will always be grateful. Amen

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son for whoever should believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

Please God help reveal to me if pride is still in my heart....

2011-02-07T22:47:00.001-05:00

I've been praying and reflecting its amazing how much pride I use to have in my life.I never really understood what pride meant and to be honest still learning exaclty what it means and looks like. I know from past experiences its something I never want to enter my heart again. I'm human and make mistakes and its something that can sneak into your heart if you are not careful. Just because God has set me free from pride and many other things in my life doesn't mean it can't happen again . Its so important for me to keep my head and heart in the Bible and stay focused only on God.
I know opening up isn't easy and growing deeper can make you feel very vulnerable. I know as much as I love learning more about myself the initial part is scary for me still to this day. I'm afraid that people will see that I'm not good enough, laugh or think less of me. However, those thoughts are crazy and not true and the enemy wants you to believe them so you stay the same. When you stay the same you can't help grow God's kingdom and you are then not a threat to the enemy. I'm thankful for the people in the past and the people God has placed in my life today that they love me enough to challenge me to grow but with love, patience and gentleness.

The next few blogs, I will be sharing with you how I was filled with pride and what it looked like and how and what God has reveled to me now about pride. When you can humble yourself and ask God to show you his ways, its awesome what will happen in your life. The Bible says, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall." -Proverbs 16:18.

I would like to share with you what my friend/mentor has shared with me.

Below is a list of just a few rewards we will gain if we have true humility.

~God's rewards for Humility~

We get to have peace when we are humble

God give's us His grace when we are humble *James 4:6

He crowns us with salvation when we humble our self before Him *Psalms 149:4

Our prayers are heard when we are humble

Confidents that we have done our best for HIM when we do things with humility

God honors the humble *Proverbs 15:33, 18:12 Mt 18:4

He sustains the humble *Is 66:2b

Humility brings godly wisdom *Proverbs 11:2 James 3:13

We will depend on Him if we are humble

He shows favor to the humble *Is 66:2b, Ps 25:9

We defeat Satan when we are humble!

False humility is feeling guilt and shame when you have already been forgiven thru repentance. This false humility is pride. Pride says are ways are higher then Gods ways and the cross isn't enough.

She did not spit on me did she???

2011-02-06T15:42:00.001-05:00

In my small group, we are studying a book called "Deadly Emotions." We are talking about stress, anxiety, anger, patience, etc., Its a great group of ladies and I really enjoy going and learning something new about myself.

Now, I think of myself as a pretty patient person. Things like traffic, waiting in long lines, my dog chewing a hole in the wall or kids spilling juice on the new carpet, doesn't get me upset. I really don't let little things bother me. Now, where you can push my buttons is when it comes to my kids and my husband. Cross those lines and hurt my family you could possibly see another side of me!

Here is how God has such a funny sense of humor. He wants to see if I really have learned my lessons and listening to him. All this week he has been giving me things to see how I'm going to handle my patience and to see how I'm going to react and if I'm really stay focused on him.

I usually go and get that threading done to my eyebrows at the mall. I've been going there for a while and there is a lady there that does a really nice job. However, this wasn't the case this weekend. There was someone new working and everything in me said, Kim don't sit down in that chair come back later." However, I did not listen. My eyebrows were so hairy that even my daughters told me it was time to go and get them done! I said, what the heck and sat down.

First, if you never had this done, it hurts really bad! If someone that has been doing it for awhile can do it really fast and it doesn't hurt as bad. This girl was new and it felt like she had tweezers and was plucking each piece of hair one by one. Did I mentionI have to do my upper lip too! Can you imagine how bad that hurts. On top of it taking forever and hurting so bad, I swear she took the thread and wiped her spit all over it and then used that same thread on my face! I wanted to puke! All I could feel was wet thread on my eyebrows! To top it off I went to pay and she put the wrong price in. It cost 17.00 and she charged me 170.00! Thankfully, she was able to fix it! However, when I went home to check my account online it the refund was still not showing up on my account! So, I had to sit on hold for 20 minutes until I could speak to an associate!

All I could do was breath and remind msyefl that I've made many mistakes in the past and getting upset will not make it any better. However, I will not be going back there again especially if that woman is working! I may be patient but I'm not dumb! Really, when you look at the bigger picture, its really not that big of deal and getting upset wouldn't of solved the problem! Its important to learn how to roll with punches( I think that is the saying). If I would of gotten angry and lost my cool, how is that being Christ like. God is patient with us, we need to patient with everyone else. If you get upset at the small stuff what are you going to do when something HUGE happens in your life. Also, I believe if we know how to handle the small things first, God will bless you with much more!

For whatever things were written before were written for our learning, that we through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures might have hope. Now may the God of patience and comfort grant you to be like-minded toward one another, according to Christ Jesus. Romans 15:4-5

My Trip to Gemany. You will never know unless you try!

2011-02-05T14:36:00.003-05:00

I was given an incredible opportunity three years ago. One of my friends/mentors does leadership training. He was doing an intense leadership training for the Daimler Financial Top Executives and he asked me to be a part of it! How could I say no. Yes, I was excited about the opportunity to learn and work with him but I have to admit I was more excited about going to Germany, staying at a five star hotel and flying fist class!

As excited as I was that dang doubt started entering my head! Seriously, what the heck did I have to offer? I was never an executive for a company nor have I worked long at a corporate job for longer than maybe 6 months! Now, that I'm thinking about it I don't really know if I ever had a corporate job!!! There was a moment I was eating dinner with the CFO of Daimler and all the executive and the entire time I kept telling myself, "don't open your mouth to talk. If you do, they will know how air headed you are and how much you really don't know." I don't use any big elaborate words, still learning about politics and haven't worked at "real" job in I don't know how long! I knew they really didn't want to hear about diapers, teething, or cartoons! (If you know me, keeping my mouth shut is not an easy thing to do!) After all the crazy thoughts that entered my head, it ended being a great experience on many different levels and plus I was asked asked to come back! I was able to go to Germany not once but twice!

Here are a few lessons I would like to share with you.

*sometimes there will be people put in your life that will see something in you before you ever do. I thank my friend for believing in me even when I didn't. ( I'm thankful for the many people who believed in me when I didn't believe in myself!)

*. Its so important to know you are and whose you are. God doesn't want you to be anybody else but you! Stop beating yourself up because you are not like your friend, your boss, your co-worker, your neighbor, etc., He needs you to be you so he can work through you! Its not about you. It's all about Him.

* Stop trying to be everything to everyone! We can't do it all and we need to stay focused on the unique dreams and talents God has given each one of us. As much as I loved the experience, corporate training really isn't my thing! Yes, I can do it but my true love is helping women. Teaching on leadership in the home. Teaching about relationships, marriage, kids, families, people skills (which not everyone has!!!), communication, money and fear. When I'm in my zone I come alive and the same is true for you. There will be things we will have to do that we might not like so we can learn and get to where God wants us, but there are some places we don't belong and that is OK too!

* Don't let fear stop you. Let God help you figure out where your fear is coming from. Don't let the enemy get in your head either! I've come to realize the bigger the dream, the closer you get the more the enemy will try to stop you and it doesn't have to be some big ordeal to stop you either. It can be as little as a little pecking at you telling you how dumb you are, you have nothing to offer, who do you think you are. The enemy will know your weakness and try to stop you. Its so important you know God and pray through it! trust me, every time I start taking more steps and moving in the right direction it happens to me every time! Thankfully, I can recognize and keep moving forward! I know the only reason its happening is because God has something big planned for my life!

*Enjoy the ride and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself! If you really knew me and the air headed things that come out of my mouth sometimes or things I do, you would shake your head! Its me and its fun being me! If you make a mistake, just get back up and laugh! It will make you feel better and know you are not alone!

*who cares about status! -we are all people and we all have baggage and are more alike than we are different. It doesn't matter what job someone has, the house they live in, car they drive or money they make. It doesn't matter what you do but what you do with what you have and who are doing it for. Its not about who knows your name or how big you are in your company or church! Its about doing all that God has given you for him and only him! So, when you are talking with your pastor or CEO of a company, don't look at their name but their heart! Remember they are more like you than you really know...Just be YOU!

Don't be afraid to try something new-You will never know unless you try! What is the worst that can happen? If you are doing it for God and end up screwing it up, he will help you make your crooked path straight!

Is there really a such thing as a successful marriage?

2011-02-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

Mark and I were asked the question, "What does success look like to you?" I have many different answers to this question, but the one answer that is on my heart this morning is my marriage! Since Valentines is right around the corner, I felt this was a great time to write more about this! ( I know don't mean to get all sappy nor do I think Mark and I have a perfect marriage, because we don't. ) Mark and I have come a long way since we said, "I do." I can honestly say there was a time in our marriage we were only going through the motions. (You know what I'm talking about doing everything to make the world think your marriage has it going on but behind closed doors you know the truth and your marriage is a big fat lie.) There was no real conversation nor was there any desire in my heart to even want to meet any of Mark's needs and vice versa. We just were not connecting like we use to. However, that has all changed. I can now say God has given us a successful marriage! However, It didn't come easy and nothing in life worth living for will ever be easy. If you want a successful marriage it takes God, work, friends who can help you grow, and a will to do whatever it takes. My pastor said, "success is doing the right thing., over a long period of time even when you don't feel like it." Love is not a feeling it is a choice. To have a successful marriage both husband and wife need to be in it for the long hall no matter how hard things get. ( if you are in a toxic relationship, you need to seek help ASAP)

Successful marriage is connecting at a deeper level. When you can share your deepest fears and dreams with each other. When two people can look at each other and know the gifts and talents that God has given them and help encourage, love and support their spouse to reach their full potential. When you can humble yourself and say I'm sorry. When a husband can let his wife shine and not be threatened by it and when a wife can serve and treat her man with the greatest respect. Allowing him to be the head of the house and to look at him for advice and guidance. When a husband can lead his wife and kids spiritually. When a wife doesn't have to be in control and can give it to her husband. When two people know their role in a marriage and not abuse it. When two people can be so different but yet share the same end in mind and can come together and fit just like a puzzle. Its about being their for the good and bad and not to treat each other like the enemy. To know your spouse is more than your best friend.

When I look at Mark, the word love still can't describe what I feel and think about him. He is a real man and I'm proud to call him my hubby! People may think he is weak because of the changes he has made or because of his love for God. Anyone who thinks that I will show you a marriage that is truly not healthy. Men if you want your wife to love and respect you the way you deserve than you need to look at yourself and really ask if you are you really leading your family the way God is asking you to? I know there are many women out there that think I'm weird because I want put my husband first ( after God). Ladies, I know it may be hard because maybe your husband isn't the Godly man he can be but someone has to make the first move. Begin to see and love him the way God sees him and little by little changes will be made. Keep seeking God and pray, if he can heal my marriage he can do the same for yours. If you have a man who is seeking God and trying to change and you still can't begin to respect him and put him first ( again after God) in your life, it is time to take deeper look at yourself and ask why? It is so important to help encourage your husband and help him become the leader of your family! Families need more men to step up to the plate and be the man that God has called him to be.
Marriage takes work, putting God first and not afraid to look at ourselves deeper. When we do that we can love ourselves and each other the say God has told us to do!

Getting back on track!

2011-01-31T23:04:00.000-05:00

I finally made to it to Trader Joe's! I've been wanting to go there for years, but just never seemed to get there! Today, on my way to pick Makenna up for practice, Marie and I made a pit stop and did some shopping. (The stores were crazy today! You would of thought we were going to be snowed in for days! I wouldn't of gone shopping today, if it we were not down to nothing!)

I'm excited to get back eating healthy and buying more organic food. Years ago, I was on a major health kick and was buying as much organic as I could. I was even getting milk delivered to the house. ( i know when I do things I tend to get OCD about stuff!) However, I ended up getting off track for various reasons. Financially things changed and so did my schedule and slowly I let what I knew was important slowly slipping away from me. The reason I began eating healthy was because of my kids especially my son. ( it is amazing how much kids can change your life!) They had food allergies and Markus was having problems with speech, motor skills and struggling with learning. ( he still faces some challenges but is doing great!) I knew a what we were putting in our bodies was just as important as what was filling our minds. But life took its course and I got off track.

Thankfully, I have some amazing mom's in my life. They really care about their families and themselves. They helped remind me how important eating healthy is. I realized I was using excuses on why I wasn't eating as healthy as we could! I started educating myself again and reading some info they would suggest and did my research. It started motivating me to get back on track. Sometimes in life we know the answers we just need the reminders! Mark and I are not getting any younger and I want us to be in the best health and most importantly I want to teach my kids on good eating habits so they to can be healthy as they grow up! Actually, eating healthy makes grocery shopping fun again! ( I know its sounds weird! and I realized if we were going to be eating healthy as much as I love when mark helps out and would sometimes grocery shop that had to stop! healthy shopping is not on his list!!!)

Just like anything in life we get off track. Whether its with our eating, exercising, how we spend money, parenting, with our marriage, praying, reading the Bible, going to church, etc., but thankfully we have a loving and forgiving God who understands. We just need to ask him to forgive us and get back up and try again! Don't beat yourself up if fall down and mess up as long as you get back up is all that matters! Also, surround yourself with people you can learn from and can motivate you to live a better life! I'm thankful for the people I know who love me enough to help and challenge me to be all that God has called me to be!

What is the big deal about Porn in your marriage?

2011-01-29T16:33:00.001-05:00

Going to the strip club with your buddies isn't really a big deal, is it? Having strippers at your bachelor party is really no big deal, everybody does it. Its just a good time with the guys, right? What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas won't hurt my husband or wife, right?   Guys or girls, a little porn to spice up the marriage won't hurt, right? What about a threesome? No big deal??? Casual sex no big deal???

WRONG!!! There is no way I can blog about all that I've learned about myself and my marriage when it comes to this topic nor will I blog about all there is to discuss about this on here. One day when I'm speaking on Sex and marriage you can either come and listen or read my book, whenever the heck I finish it! I'm not just going to put it all out here. I will only share, teach and reach out to others who are truly serious about changing and healing their lives. I don't write what I write to try to convince anyone or talk anyone into Jesus. I've been set free and my marriage has been restored because of Jesus. I only want to help the people who have ears to hear.  If what you are doing in your life is working for you great! If not, I hope you take what I write about serious and begin searching your heart and soul and truly finding and  knowing the love of God.. This goes for Christians to. I know many Christians who believe Jesus and know every verse in the Bible. However, they don't allow him to come fully into their heart. They don't do the necessary work on themselves so they can have the life Jesus has promised. They wonder why they are in the situation they are in or nothing good every happens to them...Its time to start looking in the mirror.

I always knew Mark loved me and he has always been a great dad, when looking on the outside and looking on the outside I looked like a really good mom and wife the way the world looks at a marriage. But the way God saw us was completely different. Some of the choices and decisions we made when we were younger and even when the kids were small effected our marriage. Mark never saw Porn has anything bad. He didn't watch it everyday it was only when he was with the guys playing cards or at a bachelor party. (which by the way, it disgust me to think of how mark and i started our marriage off) Strip Clubs as just fun for the guys when one of his pals were getting married. He didn't really want to be there is what he would tell me. (yeah right) He couldn't tell the guys he didn't want to do. They would think he was a wimp. Who cares what I thought and how I felt about it. I hated it when Mark would go out with his friends. I hated how it made me feel. I thought there was something wrong with me. Instead of standing my ground on this issue, I gave in. I thought it must be because I'm insecure with myself and to show everyone how strong I am, I threw my husband a 30th bday party and got him a stripper.

It wasn't until this summer that God really got to the root of some major issues in our marriage. He placed two powerful books in our lives. It really hit Mark. It talked about marriage, your relationship with God, your relationship with your father and the relationship between a dad and daughter. Some people like to put a band aide on things and hope all goes away. See, I'm not that way.  I like to talk about things and work through things and understand why we made some of the choices we did.( Even though God turned our life around and we were not living this way, there were still areas in our life that needed to be healed).  I wanted to know what God really thinks about marriage. How Husband and wives are to treat each other. We were getting ready to have our third daugther. How would he feel if his daughter was in that type of industry and how would he feel if men were doing or thinking what he and his buddies were doing?

I don't care what you say and you can laugh at m all you want but Pornography will hurt your marriage and leave scars on your heart. It did on mine. Mark's choices made me feel that I wasn't good enough for him. I wasn't first in his life and that I was just someone he settled for. Of course, I know that isn't true today, but deep down inside I felt that way. I was made at him and was one of the reasons I couldn't respect him as my husband the way God wanted me to. Thankfully, Jesus worked in our lives and we both were able to talk about things and forgive each other and let it go!

I think this is so heavy on my heart right now was because of the event I went to last night. I thought about all the woman who are in this industry and how broken they are mentally, physically and spiritually. How much they need love and support. I'm thankful God has shed light on this for mark and I and for us to learn again more life lessons. I'm thankful Mark is the Godly man God has called him to be. I'm thankful he loves me and all of me and that I truly know he has eyes for only me! I'm thankful he is the leader of our family and now can respect him for the man he really is. Its about time that Men step up to the plate and love their wives the way God has called them to because the best gift you can give your kids is to love God and their mommies with all your heart! ( again I"m just babbling....there is so much there to teach and talk about and one day soon, I know I'll be able to share it with whoever God calls to hear.)

You can't hide any longer!

2011-01-27T23:25:00.000-05:00

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you knew God wanted you to move forward and you knew what he was calling you to do but but feelings of not good enough and why me enter your head? You have dreams and goals and plans that you know was placed on your heart by God and you can't wait to do them and you are working hard toward them but still something keeps picking at you telling you lies and is doing everything to distract you from moving forward!

If you have, know you are not alone! This may sound weird to some people but the one who is reading this and gets it knows exactly what I'm talking about. I've been struggling with the ideas of what in the heck do I have to offer? I don't know enough? Why me? At the same time I'm having these questions the other part of me just can't wait to get out there and start doing the work God has called me to do. Its a battle in my own head. I don't know why he picked me. I'm so thankful he has has taught me so much about life and myself. He has set me free from bondage and has made me look at myself in more than one way and has taken me to look at myself deeper than I ever thought I could go. He placed this incredible desire to help share my life lessons so hopefully it will help someone else and bring them closer to God. However, I have also begged God to take this desire away if this is not what he wants me to do because I never want anyone to think I know it all or I think I'm better than anyone because I don't. I still have so much to learn. Learning never stops.

He keeps telling me to keep moving forward. He is telling you the same if you listen. He is telling me to stay focused and don't get distracted by nonsense and with things that I have no business having my nose in! To stay focus on him and doing the job he has chosen for me to do. Same goes for you! Stay focus and don't look to the left or to the right because that is what the enemy wants you to do. He also has placed me in an awesome place with incredible people! He is pushing me out there and not letting me hide any longer. I would find excuses why I couldn't do it and now I can't hide any longer! God will do that to you too! He will make you go out there whether you like it or not. He will not let you hide much longer. Seriously, take this blog for an example. I really don't like to write, but he makes me do it to help me get over some crazy fear of mine! Yes, he will not let you hide but get ready he may make you do things you don't like doing because he needs to work on you to get you where he wants you to be.

Stop hiding and stand bold in your calling from God. Don't let anyone stop you and know that God loves you more than you will ever imagine. (that might be hard for someone to understand but when you truly get the love of God, it will blow you away) Give him all your fears and crazy thoughts and know you are worthy of the call not because you say so because God says so! Get out there my friend and do the work regardless and don't let anything get in your way! Don't sabotage what God has planned for your life.

When your day turns out like crap!

2011-01-19T21:28:00.001-05:00

It doesn't matter how much we have our day all planned out, God will show you who is really in control! Last night I had my entire day planned for today and trust me it was going to be a busy day! I was taking the kids on a field trip to a museum in Ann Arbor with some other home school families, speech for my son, dentist appointment, grocery shopping, dinner and then off to take the kids to awana! I thought I had it all figured out to a T!

However, around 2am the day was already not turning out the way I planned it! Marie didn't really sleep at all last night! Marcia was up all night coughing, which sounds like she has croup! Now, I could of woke up all crabby because everything I wanted to happen was not turning out the way I wanted it too and I was really tired! Now, I could of started complaining, but God reminded me that how we handle the little things will determine if he can give me anything bigger! If we can't handle our day to day living, how the heck will we handle the bigger things we want to do in life? Remember, even though we think our day is wrecked because its not going according to plan, God always has a better one, if we walk in faith and with the right attitude! Its up to us what we are going to choose crabby or make the best of what is given to us!

I decided to go with the right attitdude. My day ended up turning out great! Mark didn't go into work as early as he normally does, so I was able to get Makenna to her friends house, so she could still go on the field trip, without having to drag the kids out early in the morning! Markus speech was canceled (even though we showed up but didn't have to end up sitting there) and my mom was able to come over to watch the kids shortly while I went to the dentist! (She surprised me on the way home from the funeral luncheon she was at) I was so happy because I was just getting ready to take the kids with me to go and get my crown and filling! ( They go everywhere with me so they would of been fine sitting there, but didn't want to take marcia out because she needed to rest!) The kids didn't go to Awana since Marcia was sick and we figured everyone including me needed to rest! Mark went grocery shopping for me!!! ( I even finished all my laundry!!!)

See, we need to really watch the words we speak and be careful not to grumble and complain about everything! I know its not easy! If I would of focused on the bad my day wouldn't not of turned out on a positive note! It is all on how you look at things! It doesn't mean you won't have hard times and want to stay in bed and pull your covers over your head! We all have moments but we need to make sure those moments don't turn into a lifestyle. Take baby steps and really pay attention to the words you speak and the conversation you have with yourself. Yes, we need a friend to sometimes vent to but really all you need to do is give it to God and he will make your path straight, even in your daily living! God cares about all areas in our life not just the big ones but the small ones too!

Now, I am sitting here in pain and can't talk because of the work done on my mouth at the dentist! See, God even answered Mark's prayers today!!! He get a night without me talking his ear off!!! LOL!!!

Part TWO: What to do when your child looses control in Target?

2011-01-17T08:24:00.000-05:00

You might be asking what prompted the baby fit in Target, if you read my previous blogs or how did I handle it? First, I love Marcia. She is an amazing little girl with a fire for life! She is not afraid to tell you or show you how she feels! She is a very passionate little girl. So, dealing with Marica is very different then dealing with Makenna and Markus. ( not that they are not passionate, they show deal and show their emotions diferently!) I think sometimes we forget that every kid is different and we have to know and understand each personality so we can effectivelyly communicate and teach them.

We were checking out of Target and Marcia spotted her favorite package of Gum! As soon as she saw it she wanted it and she wanted it now! So she picked it up and asked me if she could buy it because she really wanted it. I said to her, I know its your favorite gum and you can have it as long as you buy it with your money. Do you have your money? Normally, if she has her money, she thinks twice and decides she doesn't want to spend her money on it and decides to save it! Today, was not the case! She didn't have any money and wanted me to buy it! I explained to her ONCE that sorry we were not buying Gum today and that was the start of the baby fit! ( I also know that she had so many emotions going on because Marie was just a few weeks old!) As the kids and I began walking to the doors to our car, she screamed louder and louder, dropped to her knees and held on to my legs!!! I did not give in! If I would of given in she would do this again some other time! I kept walking and dragged her all the way to the cement outside the doors and I know everyone was starring at all of us! Markus and Makenna were trying to get to the car so nobody would see them!!!
She finally got up and walked to the car with us but continued to scream. I still am remaining calm and KEEPING THE END in mind! I put the bags in the car, she climbs in her seat and begins to calm down. 2 minutes after sitting there, she looked at me and said she was sorry. I asked her what she was sorry for and she said, "for DISOBEYING you. I'm sorry for throwing a baby fit." She didn't say it because I made her, she said it and really meant it. I told her I still love her and I forgave her. I was able to use that moment as a great teaching moment for Marcia, Makenna and Markus. We talked about Self-control and obeying. If I would of gotten myself all upset and screamed back at her, I would of lost the teaching moment and would of taught her how to have a baby fit as an adult! When we got home, she went in her room for time out for what she did, but she knew how much I still love her and she was forgiven!

She is know different than some adults I know! We see things we want and want them now. Even though they can't afford it they have their baby fit buy getting a credit card and buying in anyway . They have no self control! ( I know I use to be like that! ) By teaching your kids now self-control you are setting them up for success as an adult. By teaching them how to be obedient to you is teaching them how to be obedient to God and to listen to him even when you don't want to. By teaching your kids to forgive and love even when we make mistakes is teaching them that God loves us so much and forgives us every time we come to him with a heart of repentance! Does it mean she won't do this again...I don't know, but I do know she knows I love her with all my heart and learned a major life lesson and 4 years old! Its all about planting the seeds and being the example!

Something for Everyone!

2011-01-16T22:35:00.001-05:00

Hello, Friends! We are inviting you to an AWESOME day of fun at Twin Oaks Church, 22333 King Road, Woodhaven, MI 48183 this Saturday, January 22nd. Google it! The church is easily accessible from Telegraph, I-275 and I-75. The event is a fundraiser to benefit a mission trip to Rapha House in Cambodia for friends in our church. Rapha House exists to love, rescue, and heal children who have been rescued out of slavery and sexual exploitation. Operating as a 501(c)3, Rapha House began in 2003 to permeate cultures with love that heals and leads to restoration. Rapha House does this by providing safehomes and aftercare programs for young girls who have been rescued out of slavery and exploitative situations. All Rapha House homes are currently located in Southeast Asia, with the goal of expanding globally. As a mother of 3 girls, this agency has been dear to our hearts. Our friends are planning a mission trip to assist in Rapha House's goals. We are planning this fundraiser to help them get out of here!!! Here are some of the fun things you can do:

Basketball Clinic (all ability levels): The time for 7-9 year old boys and girls is 9am-1pm. 10-12 year old boys and girls will play from 1:30-5:30. The coaches are awesome and kids have a BLAST (and get really tired)! Suggested donation: $20 (we can make a deal if you are bringing in multiple kids!) Bring a white shirt and a colored shirt for scrimages.

Scrapbooking Day!! Bring your supplies and hang out in the Scrapbooking room with friends you can bring or meet while you're there. You could bring your quilting project, too! Babysitting will be provided for those kids too young for the basketball clinic. Suggested donation: $5 per hour for babysitting

Music lessons: Is your child thinking about playing a new instrument? Does he/she need a lesson on the instrument they currently play? Bailey Buchbinder, award winning musician and composer will be available for lessons. Instruments available for "trying on": flute, clarinet, trumpet, french horn, snare drum, tuba, violin, and piano (keyboard). All ages!! Suggested donation: $5 for the "try on", $10 for a 30 minute lesson. While not busy, Bailey will also be playing in the lobby for your entertainment.

classes available: (freewill donation of your choice) Lacking support from family members on your decision to homeschool? Do you need some affirmation that you are doing the right thing for your children by homeschooling them? At 9:30 and again at 2pm, Bring the doubters and come listen to 21 year old Ayla Eichenhofer, homeschooled since birth and a recent college graduate (with high honors), talk about her experience with homeschooling, how she handled living in the dorm at a public university in Kentucky, and how she feels homeschooling prepared her for life and her future career! There will be a question and answer period following her talk. You can even ask her, "How did you feel about missing the prom?"

Tired of asking yourself, "What's for dinner?" At 11am and 3:30pm, come to our Menu Planning Workshop!! Bring your recipe box and/or favorite cookbooks and walk away with a month's worth of inexpensive and healthy planned meals.

At noon and 4:30pm, Kim Watt, homeschooling Christian mom, will discuss biblical parenting and be available for a question and answer time.

There really is something for everyone! Come for the whole day or only an hour. Support our missionaries, support the Rapha girls, and be a part of something BIG for a change! Questions? Contact Dawn Buchbinder, dawnbuchbinder@yahoo.com, 734-782-2761

Forward this to EVERYBODY

when your daughter throws a baby fit in the middle of Target!

2011-01-16T20:59:00.000-05:00

Sometimes mom's ask me how I don't ever seem like I get stressed out and how after being with my kids all day and night they don't drive me nuts! First, there are defitly times I feel overwhelmed but when that happens its becasue I'm not focusing on God and trying to do things on my own. However, even though my kids are always with me they don't drive me nuts! I seriously enjoy them! They are not perfect and just like other kids. They will fight with each other, disobey me and even throws a baby fit in the middle of target and hold on to my legs as I'm walking out of the store!!! ( that would be marcia!!!) They have their moments we all do! There are days I wish I could scream and through a baby fit in the middle of the store!!!

Today, my pastor said something today that is one my motto's I live by! Its "Keep the end in mind." Its what has kept me from not losing my mind! When your kids or anyone at that matter is driving you nuts, when bills are piled up high, work is not going the way you wanted it to, what ever it is, keep the end in mind.

I love being with my kids even when they are acting out because I keep the end in mind and also take one day at a time! I know my kids will not be kids for very long. I only have them for a short time and then they will be on their own, I want to make every second count! I know by keeping the end in mind that everything I do and show them by example is making a lasting impression on them.. I want to set my kids up for success in life not failure and by taking one day at a time keeps me from feeling overwhelmed and fouced on God not the circumstances....

What Scares You?

2011-01-16T20:26:00.000-05:00

Have you ever just been so overwhelmed with joy and excitement that you can hardly sit still? You just want to scream on top of your lungs how awesome God is? When you look at your life and just amazed on what God has done and continues to do that you find your self in aw and just sometimes can't believe it yourself? Your life has more meaning than it ever has before? You don't know what the heck you ever did to deserve it? There are so many feelings go through me right now and I know I'm just babbling but when you seriously come to know Jesus and let him work on you its increadible to see what he can do in your life. God placed a HUGE dream on my heart! I had know idea on how it was going to happen and still don't but I just listen to him. It hasn't always been easy and there has been huge RISK's Mark and I have had to take and will continue to take, there have been peope and places we have had to leave even though we loved the people so much! He has placed mark and I in a place that I know is for a reason. As excited as we are its also scary too! Becasue God don't take excuses and when he calls you he will do everything to get your attention and make you move forward! I can't hide anymore and as much as I don't think I'm qualified or good enough God says something else. He is forcing me to step out and face some more fears and is placing amaizng people in my life that has the same passion and vissions as I do. All I know is this God never fails, he is a forgiving and loving God and has huge plans for everyone as long as you answer the call. I'm so thankful that I heard him call my name...I would rather have "nothing" and have God then have "everything" and not God! No matter how scared you might be to step out and live your God given dreams, do it today! Yes, its scary and challenging and people will think you are nuts but its your life and there is nothing else more exciting then living a life for God!

Are you really willing to do whatever it takes???

2011-01-10T07:53:00.001-05:00

These past few weeks since I've taken a break from facebook, God has done some amazing things in my life. I know someone reading this might think that sounds crazy. How could something so simple and so small have such a big impact on my life?

For one thing I was spending too much time on FB. Even though I was only going on to post a comment, I found myself reposting and then commenting on other friend's post. What started off as only 5 minutes turned out to be much longer. Here I am knowing God is calling my family and I to much bigger things, however I was neglecting what he truly wanted me to do and kept myself busy with nonsense. I have four kids and my time is limited, just like many people reading this. If I really want to do what God is calling my family and I to do, I had to look at how I was spending my time. Was my choices taking me closer to what God is calling me to do or taking me farther away. My intentions were good but it wasn't getting me closer but slowly it was taking me farther away.

God will ask us to do some big and small things in our life. Its up to us if we are going to listen. We can talk all day long about our dreams and what God is calling us to do, but we better be willing to do the work and make choices that will take us there.

Since I've gotten off FB and quieted my mind and use my time wisely, I've been able to hear him more clearly. He has shown me areas that still need to be healed. Learning and growing is constant. Just becasue you have had a few break throughs and grown some doens't mean the job is over! He has shown me areas I still need to forgive myself and not to continue to carry the baggage around. If I don't allow God to heal and teach me, how the heck am I going to help others. I made some dumb choices, bad decision and many mistakes in my life. I've had a ton of jobs and tried many things. Some of them have worked and some have failed. ( I really don't believe there is a such thing as failure as long as you learn the lesson.) Someone reading this may be in the same boat. We are ashamed of some of our choices and who we use to be. Its okay. God wants to forgive you and has if you have asked him too but you need to ask him ( and if you call yourself a Christian you need ask others who you may have hurt to forgive you or forgive someone who has hurt you. ) and then forgive yourself. People may not forgive you but God will and if your heart is for God he will bring many wonderful people in your life so you can have a fresh start. He will give you a clean slate and it will be up to what colors you want to add. It doesn't mean you won't have some ugly colors at time because having Christ in our life doesn't mean we are perfect and we will continue to make mistakes. The beauty is we have a savior that forgives us and will help us grow the more we stop talking about it and truly walking it. It will not be easy but it will be so liberating.

You really need to ask yourself do you really want to live a better life? Do you really want to grow closer to God? Do you really want to be positive role models for your kids? If the answer is yes, then you better take a look at your life and ask yourself are you using your time wisely? Are you really taking the time to allow God to work in you? Are you willing to allow God to heal your life? If the answer is yes, then you better be willing to do whatever big or small God is asking you to do, whether you like it or not...

Looking at your Child's Heart...

2011-01-09T17:03:00.002-05:00

As I write it this, I want to make sure you know I do not think I'm a child expert! I have four kids and my oldest is 10 years old and I know I have a long way to go still and haven't even hit the teenage years yet. I'm not a perfect parent.

What I do know is God is helping me learn more and heal myself so I I don't continue handing down all my baggage on to my kids. Lets face it, if we don't recognize or know why we do what we are doing or why we did what we did in past, we will pass down our insecurities, mistakes and all our "stuff" generation to generation. If you don't want your kids to make the same mistakes as you its time to wake up!

God is helping me raise me kids. I depend on him to show and teach me what I need to teach them. I learn through prayer, his word and other people God has placed in my life. (its so important to be open to learning and be coachable.)

I believe its important to check our kids hearts. Kids are going to disobey, make wrong choices and fight with their siblings. Its our job to help teach our kids and be able to recognize the fruit in their life before it goes sour.

Just recently Mark and I really felt God calling us to a new Church. (It wasn't because we were unhappy with the Church we were at.) My kids at first were not happy with this decision. They told us God didn't tell them! My oldest daughter was having the toughest time. She didn't want to leave because she had friends she loved, she really liked her teachers and was comfortable. The more we talked about it she would flat out tell us she wasn't going to go and she would get very upset.

This was a great teaching moment. We as parents have to recognize these moments and take full advantage of them. We have to learn to walk with our kids and not always be so demanding and not explain why we are doing what we are doing and to also listen to your children's fears and concerns. To share with them your fears too.

Mark and I asked Makenna what was bothering her. After listening it her reasons and sharing our fears with her, we asked her does she really have a heart for God? She told us yes. We asked her, "do you really want to live for Christ." She said yes. We asked her, "do you trust God and trust that he is leading your mom and dad. She said, Yes. If we truly have a heart for God we have to do what he asks us to do even when its uncomfortable, even when its hard and to trust God even when we don't have all the answers. This is part of the journey. When you say no to your parents that shows us you are not trusting and obeying God. It showing us that you only want to give God a small part of your heart and not all of it. You only want to do what you want.

This was a great seed to plant in her heart, because as she grows we know there will be many more choices in her life that God is going to ask her to do and the world. It will be up to her who she is going to listen to. But if we can get to the root of the heart and really recognize what is going on, hopefully she will learn to listen the voice of God and not the enemy. We explained to her by going against her parents is the enemy's way of holding her back from God's promises. When your kids are acting out, try to get to the root of the problem and not let your ego get in the way because they butting heads with you.

We kicked the fears in the butt and faced them head on. Makenna went to the new church and it was a great experience but was the best is the lessons she learned. To trust God, her parents and even when she faces fear you need to keep on walking because the promises God has if far better than sitting in fear and defeat....

SPEAKER Kim Watt - Les Brown Student

2011-01-03T20:48:00.000-05:00

As Les Brown says,"you don't have to be great to get started, but in order to be great you have to get started." Someone may be watching this and think this video stinks and it just might! My friend just called me and told me it was on you tube! I don't know about you, but I really hate watching or listening to myself. I'm very critical and hard on myself and sometimes I guess that can be good because it keeps us humble but it also can paralyze you and we never take a chance to go after a dream that God placed on your heart. We think sometimes we have to know it or be perfect before you can do something and that is a big fat lie! I know I'm nothing special in this video and I was even worse a year before that! But I also celebrate the fact that I stepped out on faith and had the courage to begin a life long dream. The crazy thing is what I thought I was going to do God has a completely different plan! Trust me is plan is better than anything we can ever dream of, but we have to be willing to step out.

I was so nervous doing this PBS special. Les Brown took 4 of his students and gave us 5 minutes each to speak! You might think 5 minutes is easy but its way harder to do 5 minutes than it is to do 30 minutes! When I watch this, I know I've grown so much since then, thankfully! As I was speaking in this video, there was so much going on spiritually. God was working on me but I still didn't know him. I believed in Jesus but had know idea who he really was. If I didn't know who he was how could I know who I was?

Since then I've dedicated my life to him. I know I'm nothing with out him and everything with him. My views on life have changed and I've grown so much since this experience.

All of us have something God wants us to do. We all have talents and skills but its so important to continue to work on them. I know many talented people who haven't did anything because they either thought they knew it all or didn't have to sharpen their skills. What ever you dream is get out there. You don't have to be great! Look at me, I'm not great but God is and he keeps on teaching me and the more I trust him and listen to him the better I get and its only so I can glorify him!

Remember don't let fear and doubt stop you from doing what God has placed on your heart to do. "And Jesus answered them, Truly I say to you, if you have faith (a firm relying trust) and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, Be taken up and cast into the sea, it will be done. Matthew 21:21

Why I decided to get off Facebook!

2011-01-01T16:51:00.003-05:00

The last week I decided it was time again to take a break or sabbatical from face book! Of course, I love connecting with friends and meeting new ones, but I knew it was clogging my brain! Sometimes there just too much noise and it gets to be difficult to hear God's voice. I don't want to be focused on everyone Else's opinions and concerned if people like me or not. I don't want to be focused on how many people like my posts on FB or how many people leave their comments. My only concern is if I'm doing the will of God and what his thoughts are. I know that might sound weird to some people and that is OK because I use to think the same thing about people who loved and lived for God, but like the saying goes once you know better you live better!

I started this year with no junk cluttered in my head! I started this year with prayer and hoping I end this year doing all God is calling me to do. I'm so looking forward to the new people he will bring in our life and all the new lessons he will teach me and to keep looking at myself and growing. I looking forward to serving him and doing what ever he calls me to do. I pray I don't get ahead of God and wait patiently on him. I know one of my biggest struggle is not to let the enemy get in my head. Every time I take another leap of faith and do what God says to do, doubt and negative thoughts enter my head. The ones that start with nobody will like you, you can't do that,who do you think you are, you're no good. Thankfully, I know that is not the voice of God and he loves me and he loves you and wants us to do amazing things for him. Years ago, I let those thoughts stop me in my tracks because I believed them, but not anymore. I pray through them and know to keep moving forward as hard as it may be sometimes.

We ended the year celebrating with our kids. We went to the movies, bowled and then celebrated the new year at church. We wanted to make sure we started the year off right with God first! It was the best New Year's Eve Mark and I ever had. Yes, 8 years ago drinking until we puked and passed out seemed like fun and at the time I won't lie I had a blast, but that stuff can only last so long and it starts to creep up to you. The past few years, I haven't gone to bed with any regrets or smelling like puke! (i'm over exacteraging about the puke but you get my point.) What was so amazing this year was my family celebrated with God, sang together, prayed together and laughed together! I couldn't ask for more! We went to bed with the blessing from God.

I know I will be back on FB in a few weeks! I need to take time to make sure I start and this year off right. To keep moving in the direction God wants me to go and I just know this year is going to be an awesome year!

Are people really comparing Christmas to Halloween????

2010-12-21T10:56:00.005-05:00

Someone made the comment to me that Christmas is for the kids. Which, had me thinking (scary I know!). Do people really think Christmas is just for the kids? Are they lumping it together with Halloween and other kid events? What if you don't have kids or you kids are all grown up? Has our society really gotten that far away from the true meaning of Christmas that its become more of a commercialized holiday?

Christmas is so much more than Santa and gifts. I know this part is fun but it shouldn't be the center of celebrating Christmas. Its about love, giving and FORGIVING. It s about being thankful and celebrating with family and friends. It's about the birth of Jesus and remembering how great God truly is.

Both Mark and I didn't go to church as kids. Thankfully,we do now and so do my parents and they love it. Growing up we missed what Christmas was all about. Sure we had great times with family, but its like throwing a big party for your son and daughter and then forgetting to bring the guest of honor or simply not showing up to celebrate their big day. Yes, have all the fun with family and friends this year but don't forget Jesus is the reason for the season not Target, Walmart or the mall down the street!

This Christmas I encourage you to not forget Jesus and giving church a try! Having Jesus at your party will help you remember why we celebrate Christmas and its just not for the kids! Plus if you want to give your kids the bes gift and your foucs is on just the kids then give the gift that they will never forget and will have way after you are gone, and that gift is Jesus!

I Swear I'm going to Kill Her!

2010-12-20T22:58:00.002-05:00

I'm finally ending the curse that my mom, grandma's and probably great grandma had and continued to pass down to all the women in the family! You know what I'm talking about stressing out over ever little thing that needs to get done before Christmas Easter, Birthdays or just a simple family dinner!!!

I remember growing up having Christmas dinner at our house and my mom and almost every other mom I knew getting all worked up about the house! I couldn't understand why until now! All the things we women have to do and our husbands have no clue what truly goes on before a big holiday! Making sure the Christmas tree is up and decorated, lights on outside, grocery shopping, buying and wrapping presents, cleaning the house and not just cleaning the house but washing windows, washing floors and rugs, laundry, sheets cleaned, which i don't know why we clean before a party because it just gets all messed up and we have to start all over after everyone leaves! Making cookies, getting Christmas outfits, family pictures, stamps and send out Christmas cards! Its know wonder why women are exhausted before the big day gets here! When the day finally gets here, we are busy getting the kids dressed, going to Church, getting the food ready, feeding the kids, cleaning up that we barely enjoyed the family that was over visiting. We take a quick glimpse over to our husbands and see them laughing and having a good old time that a part of you would like to strangle him because he knows how to relax and have a good time while you feel like a slave in your own house! Finally, the night comes to an end and everyone leaves and you wonder why you do what you do and how did the day slip by you. You swear you will not do it again next year, however next year comes and the same old thing happens again! Its like Ground Hog day! Same thing just different year!

Of course I'm over exaggerating or maybe not, but you get the picture! The majority of women I know work so hard getting everything ready for Christmas or many other family gatherings that we miss all the fun. My mom did it for years! I call it the Martha syndrome! We laugh about it now and anytime we begin to feel stressed out we will call each other Martha! If you are not familiar with the story. In the Bible there is a story about two sisters Martha and Mary. They are completely different. Jesus is coming to dinner and Martha is excited but focusing on all the stuff that needs to get done that she is getting mad at Mary because she isn't doing anything in Martha's eyes but sitting and enjoying Jesus. Martha starts to upset and begins to moan and groan to Jesus . He stops her and reminds her that Mary is doing what is right. Mary knew Jesus would not be with them for long and to enjoy him everything else can wait.

I know I do it and so does so many other people, we focus on all the wrong stuff and miss the true joy of Christmas. Seriously, who cares if your house is not spot less, the kids are not matching, the lights are not on and you have to buy store bought cookies because you just don't have the time to make them. Its okay. What is important is to take time to remember what Christmas is all about the birth of our Savior Jesus and to enjoy the family even if they drive you crazy! Its only one day!!! Have fun with your kids. This year as you are crossing off the thing you have finished but then adding a few more things to the never ending list, take a breather and remember to be more like Mary. Its time to finally end the crazy Martha curse that has been handed down generation to generation. This year is the year I'm finally killing Martha and be more like Mary and really enjoy Christmas and everythig that comes with it! It's what I love about Christmas! Make sure we keep our priorities straight! We can have and do all the stuff that comes with Christmas but if we miss celebrating Jesus then we missed the point and everything else really doesn't matter!

Does the idea of gettig together with family put you in a panic attack???

2010-12-18T14:12:00.000-05:00

The count down begins only 7 more days until Christmas! Yes, this can be a wonderful time of the year. Time to get together with friends and family you might not see much during the year or running into friends while you are shopping! Its so fun seeing people that you normally wouldn't see. Even if you are friends with them on FB and know exactly what they are doing, its not the same as seeing them face to face!

However, with all the expectations of Christmas and visiting family and friends, I think many of us can have feelings of disappointments. We have all these thoughts of what Christmas will be like and get so excited about getting together with everyone, that when someone doesn't show up or isn't as thrilled about Christmas as you are, we start to feel discouraged. We have hopes of families and friends putting the past behind us but to find out some of the people we love dearly may not feel the same about us. For many people Christmas can be a time of great pain.

I'm here to remind everyone that if you a "normal family" all of us have some sort of dysfunction in our families! If you focus on the dysfunction, you will miss the true joy of Christmas. I know this may not be easy for many people because their is so much hurt in their families or painful memories at this time of the year. But it all depends on what you want to focus on. If you put your focus on people, even your family, you will have feelings of disappointments. If you focus on the dysfunction, you will miss the joy of Christmas. I believe when we have those feelings, its God reminding us not to focus on the world only him! He is the reason for the season. Whether you have a very close family, are all alone or a family like mine the "Griswalds" know that the only way to truly enjoy this year is to keep your eye on Jesus and you will never be alone or disappointed!

Can You Keep up with all the Expecations of Christmas???

2010-12-16T12:32:00.000-05:00

Until 2 years ago, Mark and I were doing what 98% of the population does on Christmas, spend so much money and focused on the all the wrong reasons to celebrate Christmas. We would find ourselves kinda depressed or a feeling like this is it? All the planning, shopping and excitement of getting together with family and then seconds after the gifts are opened and dinner is eaten we had the feeling like this is it! All of that and its all over in one day.

All the gifts we bought the kids and our family members just never seemed enough. So, we would go out to the stores just one more time and buy just a few more gifts to put under the tree. Half the time we just bought the gifts for our kids because heaven forbid our kids go to school and don't have all the cool and latest toys and gadgets as their friends. Every year we were trying to out do ourselves from the next year and it was getting exhausting and we didn't like what this was teaching our kids.

God spoke to our hearts. We were having those feelings like who is this for? We knew it wasn't for God because he doesn't need this stuff. It wasn't really for our kids, because they didn't need it. Was it for us? Where we sucked in to the materialism and commercialism of this world telling us that more is better? Of course the answer was Yes.

We have changed our traditions on how we celebrate Christmas. Yes, we still do Santa but its know where like it use to be. We give our kids a FEW gifts and we don't over spend, which is not easy! (Makenna and Markus know longer believe in Santa. When they asked us if he was real Mark and I didn't want to lie to them. We wanted them to understand Santa was for fun and using our imagination but we wanted them to know that God is real and to know and believe in the true spirit of Christmas) We have taught them the true meaning of Christmas which isn't just looking at the manager you put on your fireplace. Its not about just picking up a tag on the Christmas tree at church and buying a gift a target. (this is nice but its so much more) Its about Jesus and his birth. Its about giving to him. I don't share this story to pat myself on the back to say Mark and I are the greatest parents, because we are not. This is all God and his doing. We really want our kids to experience what it means to give, to see the pain in the world and to truly recognize how blessed we are. To put others before ourselves.

Two years ago a friend of mine shared a story on what she was doing for the homeless. Mark and I were able to do it with the kids. You don't need a Church or a huge group of people to do the work Jesus has called you to do! We made lunches for the homeless. Makenna wrote Scripture on an index card and put it in the bag and we went down to the heart of Detroit to a shelter. It was great learning experience for them and then after we took them for a treat to Lafayette Cony Island! (they have been wanting to go there because they watched in on TV diners!!!) This year we are doing something completely different. They still talk about it to this day!

This year don't kill yourself because you can't keep up with the Joneses or yourself from the previous years. Instead put the focus on the one who matters and do something for someone else this year. It will give you more joy then giving another present to someone who really doesn't need anything but your love!

What has God Done For You???

2010-12-16T11:16:00.000-05:00

Christmas time can be a great time of Joy. Its a great time to get together with family and friends. Its a time more people are focused on giving and reaching out to help someone in need. Its a great time to reminisce, laugh and be thankful for the life God has given us. Gathering with people we love and celebrating the birth of Christ is the best time of the year.

However, many people are going through so much at this time of year. Many people are without a job, lost a love one, dealing with sickness either with themselves or with someone they love so much, divorce, or are all alone. Some people know why we celebrate Christmas, however because of all the hurt they are dealing with in their life or trying to maintain the expectations of what the world says about Christmas, they feel empty and are slowly loosing hope.

Today, instead of me writing about my experiences or thoughts on faith, hope and even suffering, I would love for you to post your comments on how God has healed you. Your words might help someone else and bless them this Christmas season...

God has promised that all things work together for good to those who love and serve Him faithfully (Romans 8:28).

Can You Please Forgive Me for Stealing???

2010-12-06T12:17:00.001-05:00

Have you ever did anything that you know you shouldn't do, but you think what the heck, its really know big deal? You try to find reasons to validate what you are doing. It happened to me this past month.

I knew better but sometimes we make mistakes and give in because everyone else is doing it. Thankfully, I surround myself with people who encourage me but also hold me accountable for my actions. It hit me a few weeks ago, when talking to a friend a church. If the saying is true,"how you do anything, is how you do everything," then the littlest things matter.

Anyway, mark and I are doing p90x. My cousin has the dvd's and to save a few bucks, we asked him if we could borrow his cd's. I decided lets burn the DVD's so we have our own copies. There are people I'm sure that don't think there is anything wrong with this, but there is its stealing. There are people who make a living selling CD's and DVD's and if we burn them we are taking money from them. I'm sure there are people who think, some of these people make a ton of money and they don't need it or will miss it and that is still wrong. They have worked very hard putting there info out there for us and if we can't pay for it then we don't need it. If you want to make a ton of money like them, then create your program. One day I hope to have CD's and books out there and would I want someone stealing from me?

The little things matter and they all add up. Think about it all it took was a bite of an apple from Adam and Eve in the garden. They knew better but they I'm sure they thought just this one time won't hurt and it did and we are all paying for it because of one dumb little but huge mistake. "Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor,doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may Have something to share with anyone in need." Ephesians 4:28. "you shall not steal" Exodus 20:15. "And Jesus said, You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you sall not steal and you shall not bear false witness. "Matthew 19:18.

So, the DVD's we burned are going in the garbage. I'm so thankful God is a forgiving God and can forgive me for making such stupid mistakes! Thankful for my dear friend for remindng me!

What to do When Your Neighbor Loses Your Dog!

2010-12-05T07:52:00.000-05:00

What do yo do when you ask your neighbor( who is a grown man) to let your dogs out while you are gone and you come home and the your dog which is 16 yeras old, deaf and blind is missing?

Last night around midnight we walked into the door from a long ride home from Grand Rapids expecting to find our dogs sleeping. Instead, we found the back door to our sun room opened, the screed door opened and the door going to our backyard open and one of our dogs missing.

We house sit our neighbors dog for them, so this was one of the first times we asked him to let our dogs out. When we found kodi missing, we were very upset especially becasue she is so old. Mark was up driving around looking for her and I called all the police stations asking if anyone turned her in and the aswers have been NO.
What do I do? What do I teach my kids because I know there are lessons to learn from this. After I made the phone calls and had no luck, I sat the kids in bed and had a talk with them.

First, Everyone makes me mistakes. Yes, we are sad and I'm upset, but we have to find forgiveness.

Second. How you do anything is how you do everything. God cannot bless you nor will he if you don't learn how to take care of the little the things. If you can't take care of the little things how in the world can you handle anything big. Its important not to be careless and to treat other peoples belongings just like how you would treat your own. When someone asks you to do something and you say yes, to give it 100%.

Truth is Mark and I have been talking about putting Kodi to sleep for 2 years and haven't had the guts to follow through with it. Yes, the kids are sad and so are Mark and I because we didn't get to say goodbye but at least something didn't happen to one of us or to a PERSON we care and love. Also, it just reminds us that you never know when something will be taken from you or when someone you love could pass away, so to make everyday count and always tell the person and yes even your dog how much you love them...

We pray that someone has her and will turn her in so we get a second chance at saying goodbye...

Are Competivite Sports Healthy For Kids??? Part 2

2010-12-04T10:26:00.002-05:00

Gymnastics season officially starts for us tomorrow!!!

As Makenna is preparing herself for her first meet, she understand that she isn't in competition with anyone. She doesn't go to her meets to beat another girl or another team. She doesn't compare herself to other girls and mark and I don't compare her with other gymnast either. There are girls that are better than her and girls Makenna is better than and that is called life! We will meet people who are prettier, smarter and have more athletic ability than us and vice verse. So, we have to learn how to stay focus on our gifts and be grateful for what we have and to be happy for everyone else too. If we are always comparing ourselves with someone else or wanting what they have, we will miss the beauty God has given each of us.

We are teaching Makenna (and Markus and Marcia) its not about going to the meets to beat another team. Its not about winning the trophy or metals and its not about the score. (However, it is nice to win!!!) Its about taking all the gifts and talent God has given you and shinning for him. She has learned to ask God for help and to let him work in her at the age of 10 years old! She use to feel like she was bragging if she went on the gymnastics floor and gave it her all, which is absolutely wrong. God wants you to succeed and he wants you to give your best because when we do good, it makes God look good and he gets all the glory. Makenna knows when someone looks at her they see the light of Jesus. Think about it, when your kids do well doesn't it make you so happy and proud. It makes you look good! This is how God feels about all of us. Also, our kids are learning its not all about them that they have a responsibility to take their gifts and talents and bless other people...

Today, whether its taking care of your kids, cleaning the house, going to work or moving toward your God given purpose, do it with the right attitude and shine not for yourself but for your father in heaven and give him the glory he deserves.

Are Competitive Sports Healthy for Kids???? Part One

2010-12-03T21:53:00.000-05:00

Makenna first gymnastics meet for the season starts this Saturday! We are all excited and can't wait to watch her use her gifts that God has given her. I know there are people who don't agree with competitive sports and probably for good reasons. However, I've seen and witnessed the benefits of sports in my life, my husband and my kids lives. There is a such thing as healthy competition. Mark and I have been able to use gymnastics for Makenna and Karate for Markus and Marcia as another fertile ground to teach them important life lessons. (which I will share in future blogs) I don't think sports are the problem. Its the coaches and parents who don't have their morals and values in check and act like morons that are the problems. When the parents act crazy then so do their kids! So, its important to make sure the coaches that are teaching and spending time with your kid has the same values as you do. If they don't and its not a healthy environment you are setting your child up for disaster.

Its so important as parents to do our job to teach our kids about balance. I know Makenna loves gymnastics and probably would spend every day in the gym if we allowed her too, but what is that teaching her? Its teaching her to be a workaholic and idols success as an adult and that is not healthy. In our house it is God, family, school and then whatever comes after. If anything begins to feel or look chaotic we know are priorities are all out of whack.

Makenna has big goals and she knows with God and hard work, anything is possible. (I love when kids and adults and bigger visions for their life. However, the majority of kids and adults have big ideas but sit on their behinds and play video games all day or won't take the time to sharpen their skills in order to reach their dreams. If you are going to dream big and use the gifts and talent God has given you, then you need to work on them everyday. If someone thinks they can accomplish something by wishing or doing nothing I have bad news for you that is a poverty mindset. The bible says, "He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment. Proverbs 12:11. We teach the kids to dream big but in order to do that you have to learn how to work and it starts at home first!

Do You Dread Putting Your Kids to Bed?

2010-12-03T21:46:00.000-05:00

Putting my kids to bed last night was one of those nights! You know what kind of bedtime nightmare I'm talking about. The one when your daughter knows how to work you and get you to get her water, then milk, turn on the bathroom light, run out of her room 10 times to say good night and kiss you one more time! As much as you are trying to keep your cool, you just want your kids to go to bed so you can have a least 10 minutes of quite time before you pass out of exhaustion! The more they came out of their room the crankier I was feeling. I looked my daughter Marcia and said in a loud voice, "GET IN BED." She looks at me with her sweet face and says, "Mom all you have to do is say it in your nice voice! Can you please talk nice to me." What do am I suppose to say about that?

So, I look at her and in my nice voice I ask her to go to bed. She looks at me and say OK and off to bed she went and she never snuck out of her room again! know being a mom is not easy and sometimes our kids just know how to push our buttons! We have to remember that is their job! I know that sounds crazy but they are kids for a reason and we are the parents. Its our job to teach our kids self-control, patience, kindness, respect and love. If they through a baby fit and we through one back, what is that teaching them? We have to make sure we are preaching what we practice. Ask yourself, the way you talk to your kids, would you want your spouse or boss to talk to you the way you speak to them? I can guarantee the answer is no. Ask anyone, I'm a fanatic about words and how we speak to each other and to ourselves. I'm not perfect but its something I take very serious. But why do adults who know better talk to children the way they do. We have to show them the way because when they know better then they can do better.

My Experience on Black Friday!

2010-11-28T15:29:00.000-05:00

This weekend Mark and I took the kids shopping. Since they truly needed some new clothes, we decided to venture out on the craziest shopping day of the year! Black Friday!!! We decided to go to Old Navy and then treat the kids to dinner. Having four kids means when there is a sale on shirts for $5.00 , we have to take advantage of the situation, even if it means on Black Friday!

Before we headed out to the craziness, I knew I needed to set a plan, if I didn't I would walk into the store and be tempted with all the great deals and all the new clothes. As we all walked into the store the smell of new clothes and new trends grabbed my attention! ( I don't care to shop but I will admit I love clothes!) I looked at all the ladies working and how cute they looked in their new sweaters, boots and jeans. All the people shopping looking so much cooler than me! I haven't been shopping for regular clothes since Marie was born. The clothes I am wearing are becoming to big and my pre baby clothes I can't quite fit into. ( I can but I can't breath when I wear them!) The more I looked around at everyone else, the more uglier I began to feel. I began to look at what I didn't have instead of being grateful for what I had. I walked past the mirror and wanted to bust out in tears!

( Its not that we don't have the money to buy clothes. The question is how much do I really need? Thankfully, I learned to discipline myself and learn not to over indulge as hard as it is.. Years ago, I would of opened up a credit card and charged myself silly and then I would of come home and been sick to my stomach on how much I spent. Anyone else have that feeling? If so I have some bad news for you. Credit Cards on not a blessing from God. If you don't have the cash to buy it then you don't need it. I don't think there is anything wrong with shopping and having things. If God wants you to have them he will give them to you but there won't be an interest rate and monthly payments attached! More on this later!!!)

I was getting sucked in to the world of materialism! I was looking on the outside instead of the inside. I know we all like to look nice and feel good about our self. But if we don't love what is in the inside first, nothing on the outside matters! Mark always says, its not what we wear but how we wear it! Its the attitude. The most beautiful women in the world are not the skinniest or the best dressed but the ones that know who they are and whose they are. We have to be very careful not to let those negative thoughts enter our head and most importantly we cannot feed them!

God whispered in my ear and reminded me of all the kids around the world this Christmas who will be not live another day because they simply don't have enough to eat and here I'm upset because I can't buy a ton of clothes. He also reminded me that he will always give us what we NEED. As I headed up to the cashier, my attitude changed and I was thankful for the few outfits we were able to buy. The best thing, the kid were so appreciated of what we bought them and there was no buyers remorse or feelings of regret!

That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing. Matthew 6:25.

Thankful for my Parents and the Risk They Take!

2010-11-23T18:03:00.001-05:00

When people hear the word CHRISTIAN  they think boring, safe and afraid to live life. At least, I know I did. I thought calling yourself Christian meant having no life at all. The reason I thought this was because the people who called themselves Christian that I knew lived in fear and were afraid to dream and take a chance in life. So, the last thing I wanted to do was call myself a Christan! It really didn't make sense to me because If God was who they claimed he he was, then wasn't he much bigger than living in their small suburban life style? Why were these Christians so afraid of taking risks in their life. Isn't life more than joust getting married, have kids, work and retire?   I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that and I'm thankful for my marriage, kids and family. However, I know I was put on this Earth for more than that and I want to live a life full of adventure and not afraid to take risk in my life!

Today, I'm thankful for my parents and showing me what risk really means! They have been married today for 36 years and it was not an easy road for them. ( I know I lived it with them!) In my eyes they are the most amazing parents! Please know when I say this doesn't mean my childhood was perfect because it wasn't and they made their share of mistakes. ( By me saying they made mistakes, doesn't mean I don't love them! I believe if we don't recognize the mistakes we will continue to pass them on in our families. Its important to know why we do what we do? Remember once we know better we can do better) I wouldn't change anything, because its made me who I am today!

Despite their mistakes, they never gave up on life or each other. They never gave up on their dreams and were not afraid to dream big. I know their were days they wanted to kill each other and walk away,but because of the love they had for each other and my brother and I, they took the risk to keep loving each other.  Recently, they took the biggest risk in their life and that was making the decion to turn their life around and live for Christ. (That is a story all on its own!)

Taking Risk doesn't mean life is going to be easy. Taking Risk doesn't mean we will always know the answers or the outcome. Taking risk doesn't mean that people will always like you or agree with you. Taking Risk doesn't mean you won't fail or make mistakes. Taking the Risk to love God and follow Christ doesn't mean people won't laugh at you and talk about you! Taking Risk for God means all these things but it also means living a life that will be the most exciting ride you will ever be on. It means living a life beyond yourself. It means know living a life that is no longer self-centered but Christ centered. I'm so thankful I learned that living for Christ is everything but boring! Its so much more than going to just going to Church! Its living your life and your purpose that God placed on your heart! Its about taking a chance, when everything else around you is telling you its impossible!  I don't serve the small God that most Christians serve. I serve a much bigger God. A wild, loving, fun God who is all about taking Risk!

I can't thank my mom and dad enough for taking the Risk to love each other and to yes to God! Thank you for showing me that its never to late to try anything and its never to late to change. At the age of 55 years old, going on a mission trip to Cambodia is so awesome! I know this will only be the start of so many more adventures in their life! It gives me hope that after my kids are grown there is still so much more we can do with our life!
   Most importantly thank you for showing me that as my kids grow into adults that my job as a parent never ends. That they will continue to need me to be the leader and to show them the way. Even when I think they don't need anymore,there will be a place in their heart that will always need guidance and love. So, its my job to continue to love God and show them the way even when its Risky!

One Season at a Time!

2010-11-20T10:03:00.007-05:00

Last but not least is Marie! I'm so thankful that Mark and I were able to have one more baby! As crazy as it may sound, I'm enjoying Marie probably more than I have with the other three. Don't get me wrong, I love all my kids and being a mom, However this time there is just something different, Me!

You would think it would be the complete opposite. I'm busier now than I ever have been before. I'm homeschooling the kids, driving the other three all over the place from gymnastics to karate and carting them with me everywhere I go, from doctors appointments to the grocery store! I think Marie might just spend her first year mostly in her car seat! I'm sleeping less because Marie still wakes up during the night along with my two dogs!!! And yet, I'm enjoying Marie more as a baby than I did with my other three. On top of it, I love to buy myself clothes! Now, I'm on a budget and shopping for me is always last on the list! I never liked budgets and never wanted to be on one!!! So, how can I have more joy in my life than I ever have before. Why, because its all on how I have chosen to look at my life!

From Marcia to Marie, I've worked very hard on myself and my mindset (of course with the help of God), which is so important. He has taught me, what ever you think about is the life you will create. However, As I was working on my mindset, I found myself trying to do things on my time. I was trying to control everything and make things happen on my own. I wasn't giving it to God, totally trusting him and putting it in his hands. I was still at times feeling stressed out, tired, worry, angry at times, anxiety, etc., You get the picture! I knew this couldn't be God and it wasn't! The reason I was feeling this way was because I wasn't in his will and doing things the way he wanted . God had to knock some sense into me and tell me to stop trying to do things on my own. I've learned when you are in his will everything works out. It might not be the way we planned it, but his plans are much better than ours will ever be. We will only know how big his plans are ,if we keep walking in faith and never give up no matter how hard life may be. God will shut the door if he doesn't want us to enter, however we want things our way and we want them now that we will try to blast the door open, when it needs to stay shut. We think our kids don't have patience, adults are worse! Just because God shut the door doesn't mean it will remain closed forever. If he placed something on your heart to do, it will happen. He just wants you to learn a lesson before he can move you forward and to have patience! There is no rush even though we think there is! When we are relying on our self we will feel all those negative emotions. However, when you put everything in God's hands trust and let him guide you there is nothing but peace in your life. I'm not saying everything will be easy and total chaos can be going on around you, like there is at times in my life, but I know God has my back!

God has also taught me that there are seasons in my life and to enjoy the most important one I will ever have and that is being a mom! Our kids are only with us for a very short time. I realize how quick time goes by because my oldest is already 10 years old! Before we know it, they will be out on their own living their life.
Laying the foundation for your kids is vital! Of course, we won't be perfect and yes we will make mistakes, but that is why its important that our kids have God in their life and not only in their life but first. ( I tell my kids all the time don't be your faith in people or daddy and me because sometime in your life we will disappoint you. We are not God and only God is perfect and he will never let you down. I will write more on this later)

There are so many dreams God has laid on my heart and so much more I want to do for him in my life. Sometimes, I get a Little ahead of God and he has to remind me, One day at a time. He wants us to enjoy the gifts he has given us and sometimes we miss what is right in front of our face until it is gone.

When ever you feel worry, stress, anxiety, fear and all the other negative feelings. Please know that is everything but God. Put your trust in him and let him take care and lead you to the life he has promised! I can't end my blog without saying, if you haven't picked up your Bible and or never read one before, pick it up and give it a try. You will be amazed to what you will fine! I know I sure was!

If you would like me to speak for your church or organization, please send me an email at kmcw1975@yahoo.com or contact me on facebook! If you would like to leave a comment, I would love to hear from you!

Thankful for Marcia and the Birth of a New Me!

2010-11-16T20:06:00.032-05:00

Today, I'm thankful for Marcia and all the joy she has brought to our family! She has a love for life and never wants the party to end! There is never a dull moment with her and when she isn't around we realize how boring our life would be without her! She isn't afraid to say what is on her mind or to try anything! She loves people and they love her! She already has the type of personality that can walk in a room and light it up by just being in it.

Marica's pregnancy, not only brought this amazing girl into our life, it also gave birth to a new me! Before and during my pregnancy, God was defiantly trying to get my attention, but I wasn't ready to listen. I was changing very slowly but I wasn't ready to totally give up the life I was living. I don’t really know why because the life I was living was making me miserable! It was what I knew and I was afraid of change or I should say changing myself. Also, I was afraid of what other people may think of me. Silly, that I would sacrifice peace and joy for the opinions of others. (Funny thing is those people I was afraid would talk about me where talking and laughing at me anyway. I might was well live the life I was intended to live and quite worrying about others.) I believed in God and knew Jesus but I wasn’t ready to live for him.

On one summer day when I was about 5 months pregnant, I was outside playing with the kids. A neighbor who lives around the block from me, stopped in front of my house and said something very rude. This person was someone, at this point in my life, I couldn’t stand. She made my skin crawl and now she was living down the street from me! I felt like I was living Desperate Housewives! After she said what she said to me, I through a fit! Lets just say the words that came out of my mouth were anything but nice! I even told her to get out of the car! Now, thinking about this makes me laugh because what in the heck was I going to do. Here I am a grown adult and pregnant and wanting to kick some butt!!! How ridiculous!!! She drove away and I through my water bottle at her car!! My blood pressure must of been sky high and as I was getting ready to walk in the house and call everyone one I knew and replay what just happened over and over again in my head and keep the fire going, I looked over my shoulder and saw my five year old daughter and three year old son looking at me. I never felt so dumb and embarrassed before in my life. Everything I was teaching them about respect, love and forgiveness I might as well thrown out the window. It doesn't matter what I say. its how I live my life that will make the most impact on their life. At that moment I knew something needed to change in me.

Looking in the mirror and taking a deep look at ourselves is not easy. Its so much easier to point our finger and blame everyone else and that was exactly what I was doing. It couldn’t possibly be me. It had to be everyone else! Wrong, it was me! I began to realize the only person I could change was me. As I began to look in the mirror I saw my imperfections. The wrinkles, pimples ( don't ask me how I still get pimples in my 30's!!!), and the beginning of gray hair. Most of all, I saw the person I never wanted to become. What happened to the girl who had so many dreams? Why was I holding on so many hurts, disappointments, grudges and insecurities? Why didn't I truly love the person God created? Why was I so angry at my husband? What happened to the marriage I dreamed of having but instead was slowly loosing? Why couldn't I ever be happy with what I had? The list goes on and on.

I'm thankful God began to open my eyes and helped change me. I've learned that we are co-creators with God. He has so much more planned for our life, but we have to be ready to do our work too. I was so use to comparing myself to others that I really didn't think there was anything wrong with me. Seriously, you don't have to look hard to see the world has so many crazy people, even in the church too! I thought I wasn't doing anything horrible, so it was all good! But I began to see what God was seeing. Yes, he loves us and wants more for us ,but until he can wash away all the crap that holds us back, we can truly never be the person God has called us to be.

As I began to look at myself, I forgave and make peace with the person who I couldn’t stand and many other people and experiences I’ve had. But, most importantly, I forgave myself! ( I will write about forgiveness at a later time! Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person. It has everything to do with you. Its not an easy thing to do.)

I hope you continue to read my blogs as I share my journey on how I found forgiveness, joy, peace and love in my life. How I learned why I was a control freak and how my marriage has been restored! How everything I needed or wanted was right in front of me. I will share the amazing experiences God gave me with speaking and traveling all over the U.S, London and Germany. How he gave me the opportunity to do a radio show, appear on PBS and be where I am today being a wife to my husband and homeschooling my kids! At this point in my life, there is nowhere else I would rather be! He placed so many incredible people in my path which has lead me to the place I am today. Looking at my life everything has changed and yet really nothing has except for me!

Living for Jesus will give you the meaning to your life that you have been searching for!

Why I'm so Thankful for My Son

2010-11-08T23:22:00.007-05:00

My pregnancy with Markus and delivery was perfect. I had no complications and even delivered him naturally with absolutely no drugs!!! So you can imagine how shocking it was when Markus MRI report came back that he had a degenerating brain disorder.

Mom's just know when something isn't right. It's an intuition we are born with, especially when it comes to our kids. Sometimes the hardest thing to admit is, when something is wrong. As Markus was growing, he was such a happy and easy going baby. Being the second baby, I wasn’t as high strung as I was with Makenna. I wasn't so concerned and on top of all the baby milestones, but I just knew something was going. He wasn't hitting or doing some of the little things his sister did.

I knew not to compare the two because they were different and everyone matures and learns at different stages in their life. It goes for adults as well! But when he was 18 months old he still wasn't walking or talking. It was like he stopped progressing. He wasn't digressing but he really wasn't moving forward either.

After many talks with the doctor, he went to get a MRI. Any sort of test or procedure done to your kids is nerve wrecking. I remember as they laid Markus down on the table and began to sedate him, he just looked at me and mark with his big brown eyes. It was like he was saying, "why are they doing this to me. Please don't leave me." As mark and I tried are hardest not to cry, tears were pouring out of our eyes.

As I said earlier, test came back reporting he had a degenerating brain disorder. I'm not going to get into all the specifics in this bog. We made an appointment with the Neurologist and for the next two weeks we did nothing put pray and cry! Everyone was praying for him.

The day we went back to talk about the results, was the day Markus started to walk!!! The doctor's couldn’t explain why the test said one thing and clinically it said something different. The doctors did say he would have a harder time learning, it might take him a little longer to do things and motor skills could be a struggle for him. However, he will grow up to be a normal little boy! Thank God!

Today, Markus is 7 years old! In my eyes he is the most amazing little boy I know. He has taught me so much about life! He has taught me not to look at other people's faults but to concentrate on their strengths. He has helped me realize it doesn't matter what the world says. The world may look at Markus and see one thing but I see something completely different and all I see is greatness. (Honestly, it wouldn’t of mattered what the doctors would of said, because I know with God anything is possible.) We refuse to let the world label him. He just learns differently and is growing up on his time!

He may not be the all-star baseball player like his dad or the quarterback of the football team, but that is okay because he is not his dad! He's Markus and God has a different plan for him. (Who want to be like everyone else. Its more fun to be different! We all know I am!!) He has a love for reading, math, swimming and Karate! (He told me is goal is to be a master black belt and I know he can do it!)

Parents need to be careful that we don't let our Ego get in the way and want our kids to do what WE want or try to be something they aren't, just so we or they can fit in. Also, we need to watch our words because we can either speak life or death and whichever we choose they will believe. Let them know and see it in your eyes how much you love them just for who they are. Let them know that God loves them and has a much bigger plan for their life. Maybe its really hard to see a bigger vision for yourself, but I pray you see one for your child.

I'm so thankful for my son! He has taught me where we are weak God is strong and in those weaknesses is where God will shine! I'm thankful for the most amazing little boy. He has a spirit that loves God and reminds us everyday what love truly is! I don't know what the future hold for my son, but I do know whatever it is, it will be amazing!

The lessons he( as well as my other kids) has taught me cannot be written on just one blog! There will be more to come at a later time...Thanks for reading! If you would like, please leave a comment and add yourself to my blog! If you would like me to speak for your organization, school or church, please contact via facebook or email at

Depression

2010-11-06T23:18:00.005-04:00

Since, Thanksgiving is right around the corner, I figured this would be a perfect time to write about what I'm thankful for. Of course, I'm thankful for my four children. Each child has taught me a special lesson about life.. This blog will be about my oldest daughter Makenna. .

The day I found out I was pregnant with Makenna, saved my life and changed the direction of it forever. Let me rewind a few months prior to finding out I was pregnant. During this time in my life, I was going through a major depression. I don't mean depression like I'm having a bad day, because I gained two pounds kind of of depression. I'm talking about can't get out of bed for days, crying and feeling so low about myself I actually thought and tried to end my life. Looking back now, I don't think I was trying to end my life. It was a cry for help. As desperate as it sounds, I was trying to get Mark’s attention and wanted him to realize how bad I was feeling. ( if you are going through a depression right now, please know this is not the answer and to get help. Don't be ashamed to get help)

I was really good at hiding how I was feeling from everyone. Everything looked great on the outside but inside I was seriously dying. My parents didn't have any idea because I wasn't living at home. My mom knew something was going on, but couldn't put her finger on it. Mark and I were just married and he really didn’t know what to.

I wasn't depressed because I had some awful childhood. I have great parents (not perfect) who I knew without a doubt they loved and to this day love me. The world got to me. I was comparing myself to other people, wanting what I didn't have, trying to please everyone, caring what everyone thought about me, feeling like a complete failure. ( I can get into this more, if you ever hear me speak!) I was trying to control everything in my life. The more I tried to control my life, the more my life spinned the opposite way. (this is another topic at another time too.) I lost my best friend a few years before that and the topper to all this was I was drinking way to much. Some people can handle drinking. Drinking and me just doesn't mix. At the time it did, because I was having a blast or at least thought I was. However, the more I drank, the more I would get out of control. Everyone knows I can have a big mouth, so you can imagine what it was like when I drank. I hurt many people who were close to me. After having this so called good time, I would find myself in bed for a least a day or two extremely depressed.

One day thankfully, my mom came over to visit. I couldn’t fool her anymore and she found me laying in bed crying non stop. I was able to get some help, but it wasn't the help I truly needed. The doctor put me on medication, which was just like putting a band aid on an open wound.

This was not easy for my husband or my parents to watch. They didn’t understand what was going on with me. How could they, I didn’t even understand myself at that time either. As much as they loved me there was nothing they could do except pray and that was exactly what my mom was doing.

A few months before I found out I was pregnant, was the icing on the cake. I was at a wedding and drank so much and was so out of control. I'll never forget looking across the room to my parents and husband and seeing the look in their eyes. I treated Mark horribly and was so embarrassed and mad at myself the next morning decided to take an entire bottle of pills. I just couldn’t get my act together. The more I messed up the worse I felt.

At this point you may be thinking why in the world would I be sharing such a personal story on my blog. Honestly, because God has placed it on my heart to share, teach and help others through my experiences and lessons he has taught and still is teaching me. Believe me there has been plenty and still are lessons I’m learning today!!

Also, I do it to give someone hope. If there is someone that is feeling depressed or going through something please know everything will be okay. You are not alone. Many people looking at me today or even then are probably shocked to know this about me. Don't let outer appearance fool you. You don't have to pretend that everything is perfect. Don’t feel, if you are going through something, that you are a failure. Everyone, if they truly live their life fully, will go through hurt, disappointments, failure, loss, etc., you name it you'll experience it. In those dark and lonely moments is when you need to reach to the only one that can raise up and that is God! God will help bring the right people in your life that can help get you through the situation you are in and not to keep you there.

As my life seemed to be spinning of control, God sent me an angel from heaven for a daughter. She has truly been an amazing gift in so many ways. (her name means gift in Hawaiian) The day I found out I was pregnant I stopped all medication. ( I do not recommend that to anyone. Make sure you see a doctor) My whole body felt like it was going through major withdraws for the first few days. But thankfully, Makenna came into this world perfect with a wise and loving spirit. There truly isn't anyone like her.

The day I gave birth my life changed. No longer was I living a life for me. I wanted to give this baby girl the world. I knew the only way to do that was to change me. She changed me and I thank God every day for her and the meaning she has given my life. I pray that she grows up ( with the rest of my kids) to love me as much as I love my mom.

I'm so thankful God was able to get my attention and bless me with a beautiful daughter. I'm thankful that he began to open my eyes to what truly matters. I'm thankful that I no longer live for myself but for God. God is trying to get your attention, its up to you if you hear the message.

I haven’t been depressed since the day I found out I was pregnant! I truly believe it was the healing from God!

Next Blog will be about my son!

Marriage Can Really Suck!!!

2010-11-03T10:49:00.007-04:00

Yes, I said it, ,marriage can really suck and be hard at times! If you have been married longer than 2 weeks you know this to be a fact! Actually, all realtionships can be hard and require work, if you truly care about the person.

Mark and I have been married for 12 years! We have 4 kids and I love him with all my heart. We've known each other since we've been in the 4th grade! So, we know just about everything about each other, which can be a good or bad thing depending on how you look at it!

It hasn't been an easy road. Just a few years ago, we were like just about every other couple out there. We were focued on ourselves and what was in it for us. We got caught up in the world and the desires of the world and lost touch on what it means to have a healthy realionship. What kept us going is the passion we have for each other and the the birth of our kids. Even when we wanted to kill each other or when he would do something that made me want to puke all over him, there was still this passion that kept us together! After we had kids, we knew something needed to change becasue of the love we have for our kids. We learned that we couldn't do this alone, we needed God.

Love is not a feeling! Its a choice. I know that kinda stinks becasue if its a feeling, its easy to just give up on your relatioship. But when you realize its a choice, it takes sacrifice, and its not always about you, then everything changes! You now know you have a major role in the marriage too and you can't always blame your spouse! ( The sacrifice and all about you was hard for me to learn! I can be very high maintance at times. When I read the five love languages, I realized not just one was my love language but all five!!!)

Our marriage is not perfect and we still can get on each other's last nerve! Thankfully, God has taught us and helped Mark and I take a deeper look at ourselves and stop always pointing the finger at each other.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself and to help you with your marriage. When ever mark and I start to get a little cranky with each other, we recognize its becasue we are stuck on ourselves. When this happens, we try to ask ourselves, what would we do to save our marriage? If I knew Mark wanted to leave the marriage, would I be willing to do everything it takes to save it? Why wait to your realtionship gets to that part. Every day we should be thinking about what we can do for each other. Remember its not a feeling its a choice. Your husband can drive you up the wall, but if you have the additude of waiting for him to make the first move, then nobody will win and your marriage will fail. I know what Mark's love language is and trust me its the last one on my list! After taking care of 4 kids all day that is the last thing I want to do. However, I love him and that means doing things even when I don't feel like it! Guess what, when I give to him with out expecting anything back, he does the same for me and vice versa. Change the way you look at each other ad foucs on the positive and every day little by little thigs will get better...

Second, ask yourself what typ of wife do you want for your son? What type of husband do you want for your daughters? Then look at yourself and ask yourself are being those role models for them? Your kids are watching you and if you want a healthy marriage for them, you better get your act straight!

Most importantly, you can't do this without God. Remember your spouse will never fullfill you only God can. People will always disapoint you, but God is always faithfull! The more you deepen your realionship with him, the deeper your love will grow for each other!

A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' come together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.

My Random Thoughts on Voting and Politics!

2010-11-02T13:46:00.017-04:00

My views today are much different that they were 4 years ago. I never really cared about Politics because all it seemed to me was a bunch of people arguing, pointing their fingers at each other and never agreeing on anything!

I didn't want to get involved because I love people. It might sound silly or even a little naive, but it 's the truth. I figured I would live my life one way and let everyone do whatever they want. I thought politics were just bunch of people who hated each other.

But the more my kids grew and the more I learned about God, my views have changed. I learned that I couldn't keep my head in the sand. The reason I needed to learn about politics was because of my love of people. Staying uneducated and in the dark wasn't helping anyone. I needed to learn and know where I stood on issues and why and who I was going to follow, because like the saying goes , "if you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything." I was finding myself doing exactly that. Because I didn't know myself nor what I believed whatever anyone said sounded good to me. As I grew I realized everyone is screwed up and I couldn't stand on man's word nor the views of the world because like I said we are all messed up! None of us truly know what is best. The more I learn the more I do realize I really don't know anything and the only one I can trust is God and his word.

I never truly new God's word. I believed in God but didn't know him. I've learned it can know longer be what I think, it has to be about what God thinks. This was not easy for me, since I'm a the kind of person who rebelled against authority as a kid and even as an adult! Whatever my parents wanted me to do,(as much as I loved them) it seemed I wanted to do the opposite. You can imagine how hard it was for me to listen to God! I had to give up what I thought was right and trust in a much higher power!

See, it was God who convicted me. He knew how hard headed I was (and still can be at times) and put some great people in my life. They didn't nag me, they didn't argue with me, they didn't call me names because of my beliefs or views I had. Instead they stood strong on what they believed, supported organizations that had the same views as they did and voted for what they believed in.They lived their life according to scripture and loved people even if they didn't agree with them. As I learned and had questions, those were the people I turned to. They planted the seeds by living the life and being friends with me, even though we didn't see eye to eye. ( Remember its agreeing to disagree and doing it with love!)

I don't call myself a Democrat, republican, conservative or liberal. These names just cause division between people and that is exactly what the enemy wants. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. Mark 3:5. I'm a Christ follower.( I know when I say this, it freaks people out! Yes, I will proudly admit I'm a Jesus Freak!!!)

I will vote according to what God has convicted in my heart! We are all at different walks in our life spiritually. At the end of our life, its God we all have to give account to our actions and choices we make. I just pray that God continues to work on me. At the end of the day, I'm the only person I can change. Hopefully, the way I live my life and choices I make, will shine light on someone else. If I can change, anyone can!!!

But blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear-Matthew 13:16

Having Fun With Your Kids and Teaching about Giving at the Same Time!

2010-11-01T13:59:00.011-04:00

Do you remember Halloween lasting only one day! We dressed up for school during the day and then came home and went trick-or-treating at night! Today, it seems to last all month. Mark and I took the kids trunk-n-treating, candypaloza and then trick-or-treating in the neighborhood. Oh, I can't forget about toliet papering my brother's house!!!

As fun as it was, I'm glad its all over! I'm exhausted but we enjoyed every minute. Its not about all the candy but spending time with our kids, dressing up and just having some fun! I know there are people who don't go out on Halloween. I understand why and respect them for their choices. Mark and I just look at this day as other time to enjoy and have fun with our kids, family and friends.

As I'm looking at the bags of candy the kids have, it gives me another chance to use this experience as a great teaching moment. The topic Greed! (we don't have to have some big emergency to teach our kids)

Do your kids dump out their candy on the ground and then protect it so their siblings or even you can't touch their candy? Do they count almost every piece to make sure nobody has taken any? Do they scream if a brother or sister tries to take one of their pieces? Are they trying to eat candy for breakfeast, lunch and dinner!! I'm sure ,if you have normal kids, the answer is yes!!!

Use this time to teach your kids about giving, sharing and how much do you really need. If you look at adults you know, they can act just like kids on Halloween in their every day life. They don't want to share, the more they have the more they want and its just never seems to be enough. Do you want your kids to grow up to be like that? Trust me, if you have a greedy child now, if you don't get a hold on it, that child will grow up to be a greedy adult.

Its okay to enjoy things and have things. God wants you to enjoy the blessing's he has given you and your children. Its important we appreciate the gifts God gives us becasue every good and perfect gift is from above and not feel guilty. Let them enjoy the candy they have but help them see they don't need all of it! Its important for us as parents and our children to learn how much is enough.

Have your kids pick our 20 or so of their favorite pieces of candy for themselves and then put some of the candy in a bowl for the entire family to share and then give the rest away, whether its to a homeless shelter, church or people you know. Make sure you have a dissusion around giving and the reasons you are asking them to do this. Don't force it on them or they will just be angry. God doesn want an angry giver he wants a cheerful one.

There is really is know reason why they need to have bags and bags of candy hiding in their room! Not only will you help your kids not to be greedy but you will also teach them about balance and eating healthy. Most important as you teach your kids and have them give away their candy, make sure they see you tithing and giving in your every day life. Its not so much what you say but what you do that matters.

"The he said to them, watch out! Be on your guard aainst all kinds of greed, a man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." luke 12:15

2010-10-30T19:35:00.001-04:00

I'm finally getting back to blogging! Thank you so all my friends who didn't let me give up and encouraged me to keep writing and working towards my speaking career!!Even though I started this Blog a few years ago, I'm still learning about blogging and how to make this blog spot better. If you have any suggestions, please let me know. Let me know what you think

Homeschool Vs. Traditional

2010-10-30T19:28:00.000-04:00

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Homeschool Vs. Public School
by Kim Watt on Friday, September 24, 2010 at 10:20pm

Today, I was sitting at a table with a few home school mom's. We were all enjoying each others company because as any mom knows its so exciting when we can have adult conversation!

I heard a few ladies talking about "public" school kids and "homeschool" kids and as the conversation continued I couldn't help but think don't homeschool parents dislike it when they are stereotyped. When people think all homeschool kids are weird or have no social skills. But here they are doing the same thing talking about how ALL public school kids are basically bad or screwed up.

I'm a big advocate for homeschooling. I know the benefits and have experienced them first hand..( I will write about on a later date) I would encourage anyone who is even slightly thinking about homeschool to do it. I have met some amazing people and kids that have been homeschool. However, I do know that not everyone can or should homeschool for whatever reason whether financially, emotionally, mentally or spiritually.

As little as 6 years ago, I was not ready to homeschool and God new this. Thankfully he worked on me and prepared me for this time because I truly believe this is one of my callings on my life. Will I homeschool forever? I don't know. I hope so because the kids and I love it! But,only God knows that answer.

Today this article is not about traditional vs.homeschool. If homeschool is a calling on your life great, but be careful not to lump every kid into one category. I know amazing kids that attend public schools. Also, I know amazing teachers in the public school system and my kids have had a few of them.

The focus needs to be am I being the best parent and role model for my children. Are we parents working on ourselves and growing so we can teach our children by our example. Are we teaching our kids about Jesus? Because in this day and age whether you send your kids to school or home school the most important thing you can do for your kids is to show them God's love in EVERYTHING we do, tell them about God, set a good example and let them know without a doubt that God has a huge plan for their life. If we did this and focused on making ourselves better and stop pointing the figure at everyone else, I do believe our kids futures will be brighter. Today, we need to take a deeper look at ourselves and look at our kids. Yes, we are doing the best we can, but can it better??? Shouldn't our goal be to be open to change, to grow and to become more like Jesus???

Written by: Kim Watt

If your organization is looking for a speake,r please send me a message or contact me at kmcw1975@yahoo.com
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Letting Go of My Baby Girl

2010-10-30T19:27:00.001-04:00

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Letting my baby girl go.....
by Kim Watt on Thursday, September 30, 2010 at 9:37am
When I post comnts on Fb they are not just words to me. I truly mean what I write. God has waken me up and given me increadbile experiences and has helped me brake free from bondage! I tood a huge risk 4 years ago and went after a dream of mine since I was 18 years old. I was scared and didn't know what the outcome would be but I did it anyway. Today, looking back I'm so thankful I did becasue my mark, my two older kids, my parents and myself have rededicated our life to Christ. He has restored my marriage, relationships, and has helped me break free from many things that have held me back from doing what he placed in my heart to do. When I talk about things, I come from a place of experience and passion for wanting to help other people becasue I know what Christ as done for me. If I wouldn't of taken that leap of faith, I wouldn't be here today speaking and writing about the Word of God. Trust me they"re have been many obstacles trying to stop me from getting to this place.

However, having those experiences for myself and sharing them are one thing. Experiening them as a mother is a completly differnt story. One of my missions in life is to help by example to help my kids love God with all their heart and soul and to let them know that God loves them so much and has such a bigger plan for their life. I don't want my kids to grow up to bm e selfish and to think all about themselves. I want them to understand the gifts God has given them are to Glorif him and to use them to help bring people closer to Christ. I don't want medicocracy and this crazy world to get into their head. I've seen many Christians who love Jesus however they can't brake free from bondage as much as they would want to, fear and worry have left the paralyzed.

I found myself that Christian this week. I found worry, fear, and aneity creep into my head. Thank God I know the Word of God becasue I knew these feelings were not coming from God. Makenna at the age of 10 years old has been given an opportunity from God. He has blessed her with amazing talent and has open the door for her to go to Texas. She has qualified for national Top Testing and is in the top 100 for her age group. She is so excited!

Looking at this outside, I am so excited for her too, but as a mom I can't help but cry. I have been on my knees all week praying and weeping to God to please keep my little girl safe. Mark and I can't go with her and this is her first time to leave us and to get on a plane with out any family. She has her coach and two of her best friends with her and I know everything will be ok..But, Its still hard. I see by baby girl growing up and as I hold marie and rock her at night and then look at Makenna I ask God why does time have to go by so fast. She is growing up and I'm not ready to let her go. As much as I know this is an opportunity of a life time, that dang enemy will enter my brain and have me think of such horrbile things that could happen. I've been over irrable esepcailly to Mark. Thank goodness he is a good man and knew it has nothing to do with him, it was becasue I am very emotional about Makenna leaving.

People have said to me why are you letting her go she is only 10 years old. My answer is when God calls you have to listen and trust him. Makenna is learning so much during this whole experience. She is learning things that most adults haven't learned. I don't know what Goo has planned for her life and it may have nothing to do with gymnatics, but I know its something spectacular.

My prayer for you and for myslef is to not the enemy paralyze your vison for yourself and your family. Take the risk, live by faith and trust God. Pick up your Bible so you know the word of God and can cast out those eveil thoughts when they enter your brain.

Makenna is teaching people that you don't have to wait unitl you are old to go after a dream. That God is calling all of us to let go of fear and worry and to better ourselves so we can Glorify him. We don't have to be like the isralites. They wandered in the wilderness for 40 years and it should of only taken them 11 days. Makenna is proof that you don't have to wait you can start right now. You are never to young or old to live your God given purpose....

********** I did not proof read or spell check!!! Please excuse any errors!!! I'm on my way to take Makenna to the airport pleaase pray for her,her coach,her friends and for me....I don't want God to let me get in the way of the dream God has placed on her heart....I will be happy when Saturday is here and she is in my arms again

My Pitty Party

2010-10-30T19:24:00.000-04:00

This morning when I woke up I was already exhausted and ready to go back to bed. I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but before I could even put my feet on the ground, I already had my entire day planned and thought about everything I had to do. Before my day started it was alreaady over with. I could of pulled the covers over my head and just went back to bed!

As Mark and I are trying to get ready for church, I find myself getting stressed out! I start thinking about all that needs to be done today around the house. The laundry, clean the house, school to plan, grocery shopping becasue we are down th the slim picking, etc., and by the time I walk back into my bedroom in my mind sunday is over with and now I'm thinking about Monday. As i'm getting myself worked up and giving myself a pitty party, I walk into the bedroom and Mark is sitting on the bed with the T.V on.

My head is about to spin and for a min. it did. How can he just sit here and watch football highlights? Doesn't he know how much work needs to be done? Am I the only one that can hear Marie crying? I'm tired. I was up with Marie during the night and I sure wish I could just sit down and watch something I enjoy on TV.

As I try to remain calm. I ask him," Why are sitting down?" He looks at me and says, "kim I just sat down for a second to cut my finger nails." I then realized I needed to take a breather!!!

Sometimes we can be very hard on our husbands. At least I know I can. Sometimes, I get upset becasue it seems like he is gets to have all the fun especially with the kids. He doesn't think about the the things that need to get done. around the house llike I do. While they are playing, I'm in the house cleaning. Does this sound famiiar to anyone?

God reminded me today about the story of Martha an Mary. Here are two sisters who opened their home to Jesus. I'm sure Martha was very excited about having Jesus in her home but she let herself get distracted and wasn't enjoying what was most important. She started getting upset with mary becasue in Martha's eyes she wasn't doing anything but sitting at the Lord's feet listening to what he was saying. Martha thought I'm doing all the work why can't I get to enjoy Jesus too! Jesus says to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosed what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42.

Whether you are a mom, single, married, divorced or widowoed. Being a woman isn't easy. We have many things on our plate at once. We find ourselves taking care of everyone else. Our kids, husbands, parents, grandparents, friends, church, etc., Sometimes and we are worn out feel like we missing out on something and lost the joy of doing what we once loved. When we feel like that we are focusing on ourself and not on Jesus. Jesus said there is only one thing that is needed and that is him. When we live for him nothing else matter. We are all human and find ourselves like Martha from time to time, but when we do we have to ask ourselves who are we really doing this for? Mary knew that Jesus would only be in her presence for a short time and not to take anything for granted.

Today, if you don't know Jesus ask him to come into your heart. Pick up the Bible and get to know him. If you do know him, stay focus on him and remember our lives are here today and could be gone tomorrow so enjoy what he has given you. Everything else can wait...

Wrtten by :Kim Watt

If you would like me to speak for your organization, please send me a message or email at kmcw1975@yahoo.como
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2010-01-09T13:11:00.002-05:00

Do you remember when you were little and wanted to do something or wanted to buy something and your parents told you no. Didn't it make you so mad. I remember wanting to spend the night at a friends house and for whatever reason my parents didn't want me to hang out with her and did everything they could to prevent it. I didn't understand at the time but they had their reasons. I didn't agree with them nor did I understand them. Sometimes I would break the rules and when I got caught I sure did have to pay the consequences.

Now as a mom of three kids and the fourth on the way. I see things so differently. I understand now why my parents had rules and why they protected me. I was too little to understand, I was mature enough nor did I have life experience like they did. Yes, I tried to obey most of the rules they had for me but it didn't mean I understood them, argued with them and sometimes just thought they were so unfair. However, I'm doing the samethings with my kids. I'm just not going to let them hang out with just anyone or do whatever they want becasue they want to. They might not like our deicsions but as they grow and mature and become parents someday they will understand and they will appreciate they had parents that loved them so much.

I think the samething about God. He has a plan for our life. He has things he expects from all of us. There are consequences with our choices. He gives us the free will but just like your parents God doesn't want you to hurt yourself or others. He doesn't want you to just do whatever you want becasue that is how you feel. So many people misunderstand Chrisitanity. I know I did. Untili I learned to stop focusing on the people and begin to focus on God and his word. Christianity isn't borining and a list of things you can't do. God wants you to have fun, to live life to the fullest but there are a few things that he asks of you.

Today, stop having a babyfit and running away from God. There may be somethings you don't understand. I know there are for me and there are things in my life that I might not agree with but that is between me and God. God knows me and he is teaching me as I grow and bringing in some great people in my life to help me. The more I grow the more I undertand. I had to make the choice do I want to listen to God or listen to me. I know I don't have a clue on life so I better listen to him. Becasue the one thing I never want to do is to live my life and at the end of it realize I did it all wrong. Remember you are the leaders for your family. Admit you don't know and just maybe you could use a little help and direction. What could be the worse that could happen by accepting Jesus Christ in your life. You may just find out what Joy and Peace really are...Don't let Christians who you think are hypocrtical stop you from finding the truth. People will always fail but God will never let you down...

Are you building or tearing down walls?

2009-12-16T20:38:00.001-05:00

Most kids under the age of 10 years old are full of life. They love their parents, siblings, extenended family, friends and even themselves. There not afraid to dream big and anything is possible in their minds. They are not afraid to ask for anything and it doesn't matter how many times they hear the word No they keep on asking. They are determined and persistant. But then life starts to happen and how things don't always go as plan. They might experience a death in the family maybe a grandparent of even their own parent. They begin to feel abandoned, angry or confused. Maybe a friend, teacher, coach or someone they look up to tells him that he or she is to old to dream or use his or her imagination that those ideas are just fairy tales. Dreams don' t come true. So they take down their posters, ribbions, trophy's or awards they received and pack them away. Instead of foucsing on their gifts and what excites them most they begin to give up. They don't want to take the chance of someone laughing or talking about them. The seed of mediocracy has been planted and and years later they find themselves doing the samething the rest of their friends or family members stuck a a job that is safe and unfulfilling. A girl in middle school gets made fun of becasue she doens't have all the cool clothes and just doesn't fit in, but nobody takes the time to realize that this girl's mom passed away a few years ago. She only has a dad and he is trying his hardest to just make enouch money to put food on the table. The girl is lonely and begins to feel embarrassed about her life, who she is and where she comes from. Little by little these kids begin to feel the pain on how hard life can be. They don't know God, they feel alone and they begin to build a wall and each year that wall gets taller and taller. They are afraid to truly love or to be loved. One day that child wakes us but he or she is know longer a child but 80 years old and getting ready to die. She reflects back on her life thinking about all the time she wasted trying to be strong afraid to let the world see how broken she really was. Afraid that people might really see what she already knew.

She spent years hiding behind her wall and protecting herself with weapons. Her strongest weapon was her tongure. She gossiped, blamed and sometimes killed people with just her words alone. She pointed her finger at everyone accept herself. She hid not only behind her emotional wall but her house, kids, cars, money, clothes, food, shopping and even her weight. She tired to be perfect knowing though smallest thing could set her off. She was a ticking time bomb. Only once did she decides to let her wall come down. She thought if she married she would find happiness and that person whould fullfill her not knowing that she has to love herself first. She soon realized know matter what her husband did it was never good enough. She found herself feeling empty and alone. It didn't matter how many times her husband told her he loved her, there was something missing.

They have children thinking that will help bring her happiness and give her life meaning. One day her child that she dedicated her life to leaves the house and moves away. The child she gave everything to can barely pick up the phone to say I love you. She's bitter, angry and hurt and instead of letting go of the baggage she has been carrying around, finding forgiveness and asking for help, she decides to build the wall even bigger and stronger. She surrounds herself with people who tell her what she wants to hear becasue she knows the truth is something she can't handle. Do you know somoene like this? If we really look can we see ourselves in someway or form? I know I can. We tend to put walls up trying to hide the pain or hurt we have experienced in our life. We think we can fool the world but the only one we are fooling is ourselves. We think if someone sees who we really are they won't love or accept us.

I know this is when people will begin to shut me out, but there is an answer and there is hope out there. If you are hurting and wanting to let go of all the pain, guilt and resement from you life there is an answer. There is someone who can help you tear that wall down piece by piece. There is someone who can show you the way and help you live your life purpose starting today. Its time to let go of all those people who told you a lie that you are worthless. It time to start living your life that you were born to live. Its time to bring back that 10 year old little boy or girl filled with dreams and hope. Its time to know that nobody can hurt you unless you let them hurt you. Its time. The only person who can pull you up is God but only if you let him. We tend to forget about God, but him in a small box and think we have to do this thing called life alone. We think he doens't care about us or becasue you have been let down so many times that you even question if there is a God. I want you to know God is allive. He loves you and there is nothing to big for God to handle. Does he answer prayers? Yes! Does he make miracles happen? Yes! Does it mean he will always? NO. When we are in the middle of our storm and we can't seem to see the sun, know that the only sun you need is the Son of God and his name is Jesus Christ. He is with you as soon as you accept him back into your life. It doesn't mean he will take all your heartache away. God does have a purpose for your life and we may not see it now but one day his purpose will prevail. But what God will give you right now as you are fighting the wind, rain and hail, he will give you the strength to stand and he will hold you so you will not fall again. For those that are working on bringing down our walls, remember its something we have to work on everyday. We must not forget who we were and where we came from becasue when your path crosses someone with a wall,you will be able to recognize yourself and to remember you may be the only light this person has in their life. Don't take it personally when they lash out at you, just remember this is a hurt soul with many wounds. Show them love, compassion and forgivenss so in hopes they will let their wall fall.

-written by Kim Watt I'm jus a mom hoping to help one person at at time If you would like me to speak at your next event, please contact me on FB or send me an email. If you do not want me to tag you, please let me know...
Updated about 3 weeks ago · Comment ·LikeUnlike

Judmental Hypocrite?

2009-12-16T20:37:00.003-05:00

Anytime someone would quote sciputre, it made me want to puke. If someone told me they were Christian, I would take one look at their life and think you judmental hypocrite. The thought of reading the Bible sent chills down my spine. I thought if I read the Bible it meant I had to be holy. If I read it everyone would think I'm strange or different. I knew I wasnt holy, strange maybe, but not holy. What would my friends and family say? What if people start talking about me? Does any of this hit home or sound familiar? I thought if I read the Bible I would have to say goodbye to fashion, wear long skirts, put my hair in a bun, no makeup and no fun. Those are two "F" words I love...Fashion and Fun! I was going to church on Sunday's but then lived a totaly different life style the other 6 days of the week. I wanted God to work for me instead of me working for God. I coudn't understand why my life was in the situation it was in. The only time I went to God was when I was broken, hurt and lonely. The rest of the time I tried to do it on my own, which by the way my way SUCKED! If you think the way I use to, here is a news flash. Those people you are so concerend about and afraid they might talk about you are talking about you right now! Don't let them hold you back from findng a deeper meaning and purpose for you life. By reading the Bible you will find a blueprint on how to live. You will find all the answers to money, success, marriage, parenting, betrayl, forgiveness, death and even SEX! I had know idea the Bible was so interesting. Its the best book I have ever read and you don't have to be some scholar to pick it up and undestand it. There are Bibles out there that are easy to read. Trust me, I need something that is very easy and have cliff notes to help explain to me what I just read! Having a relaitionship with God and reading his word is not about religion and rules. ( Religion is man made and where ever you find people you will always find mistakes) Once you begin to read the Bible it will shed light on so many questions you have. You know longer will have to go to your friends for approval or advice on marriage. You can take it right to God.( Its is important to have people you can trust to help you on your journey and hold you accoutalbe. Make sure its not someone who wants you to stay the same becasue missery loves company.) Reading the Bible, having God in the center of your life and being a Christian doens't mean you know longer can have fun either or expected to be pefect. . I'm having more fun in my life today than I ever have before and I'm by no means pefect. Today begin to read the Bible. You might be like I use to be, You believe in God but don't really know him. Get to know him he will be the best friend you will ever meet. If you can't do it for yourself at least do it for your kids. Also, Remember, becareful on who you call judmental hyporcrites. It wasn't them it was me. I was judging them not understanding where they were and how far they came. Those same people I have come to love because I'm no different from them.... Written By Kim Watt I'm not a pastor or a minister. I'm just a mom sharing my story hoping to help someone else. If you would like to comment or send me a message, please feel free to do so. Please, if you do not want me to tag you,please let me know or if I can tag you let me know...

What are you willing to sacrifice to go after your dreams???

2009-12-16T20:37:00.001-05:00

When we deicide to go after a dream, I believe everyone starts off with the right intentions. To give their families a better life and to give their life meaning. Going after a dream requires major sacrifice. Whether its time in the gym, studying, giving up bad habits or even hanging out with friends. In the end its almost always worth it, unless you don't have your priorities in order and know what you are not willing to sacrifice. Three years ago, I went after a dream of mine as a motivational speaker. It was a dream I held close to my heart forthe past 14 years. I wanted to help people find their purpose, enjoy everyday life, become better parents and to really focus on what is most important God and family. Last year I had an opportunity to do a PBS special with my mentor World Renown Motivational Speaker Les Brown. There were over 1000 people in the audience and it felt like finally all my hard work was paying off. My dream was finally coming true. However, as I was helping other people and doors were opening for me the one door that I never wanted to close was the realtionship I had with my children. For the past 9 years, I've been a stay at home mom and love every minute. However, as I pursued my dream, I wasn't home like I use to be. When I was home I was focued on building my business. I was with them physically not mentally. I was constantly thinking about the future, what I needed to do next and stressing out! ( I was trying to be in control instead letting God.) I began not living the life I was talking about. I started noticing little by little Makenna pulling away, Markus getting quieter and Marcia rebelling like there was No tomorrow! ( She was out of control but all she was looking for was attention from her mom) I needed to ask myself, who was I doing this for? Was it for God? Was it really for my kids , my husband or was it for my own selfishness? As hard as it was to admit, the aswer was for me. Our kids could care less about having more toys, a bigger house, more cars, etc., They don't care about job promotions, titles, or how much money we make. What they do care about is if we are home to tuck them in at bed and to read them a story. They just want us and nothing else. God gives us an option to trust him or to do it on our own. When we trust him completely we never loose. We always win. We have to learn how to obedient and do what he ask . When he does ask to say yes, not I can't. We have to learn to be patient and realize its not going to happen this minute like we want it to. It will happen on his time. He wants us to continue to dream big, work on ourselves and do what we can with what we have everyday. But he also wants us to learn how to prosper where we are planted. To lead our children, families and communites. To take care of everything he has given us including our house, car and job. To learn how to build healthy relationships and when we take care of the blessings he has given us much more will be given. Just becasue you feel like a door might be closing, God is still working behind the scenes. He has a bigger plan for you life, if you are willing to let him take control, never lose focus on what is most important, and never stop dreaming. I haven't given up on my dream, but my ultimate dream will only be here for a few more years and then they will be living their own life. We have to remember what is most important and that there are seasons and reasons for everything...Taking TIME to raise our kids will not be something in vain. Its what God is calling us to do. The sacrifices we are willing to make today, will come back a hundredfold. Kim Watt

My apologies

2009-12-16T20:36:00.001-05:00

Today, I want to send this note out to apoligioze to anyone if I have ever come across as someone who thinks she has all the answers to life. I know I put quotes on FB, opinons, write on some lessons that I've learned and choices I've made that have changed my life. I want you to know I do not pretend to think I know it all or have it all together. I'm still learning, growing and am in the middle of major life lesson as I write this. The reason I share some of the things on here is not glorify me but to help someone else becasue I truly know what its like to be broke in all areas on my life. I didn't grow up with money. I watched my two parents work very hard to give my brother a better life. There were days my parents had to donate blood in order to get money to put dinner on the table. When Mark and I firt got married we had no money, credit card debt, lived in a trailer, I suffered from major depression, moved in with my parents when I was pregenant, and were on the verge of wanting a divorce. We also have made money and still were broke. On the service we looked like we had it all but I seriously was dying on the inside. I felt worthless, I felt like a failure, I knew I wanted to do more with my life but couldn't get past all the negative self talk. I have lost loves ones, faced rejection and was so afraid of feeling that pain that I was hiding from life. However, I realized that no matter what you do life is going to happen. Life is not going to be easy know matter what. I knew I had choices to make. I knew I couldn't blame anyone else and I had to take resonsiblity for myself and most of all I wanted to be a role model for my children. I didn't just want to talk about facing your fears, going after dreams, getting past hard times I wanted them to see me walk through the fire and come out on top. My life has made a complete turn around but I didn't do it alone. God placed some amazing people in my life to help me see a bigger vision for myself, teach me life lessons and what would ultimately bring me cloer to him. I was extreamly hard headed and God knew this but he also knew what to do in order to get my attention. Wherever you are in your life right now, I want you to know this. God is trying to get your attentin. Also know, whatever mistakes you have made, how many people told you that you were dumb, fat, ugly or no good, how many times you have failed, how much money you have or don't have that you are perfect the way you are and God still loves you. I hurt many people in my life, made some bad decisions and was ashamed of myelf but once I started to work on me, forgive myself and let God do the rest, it has set me free. I hope that if someone is reading this today and is down in the dumps that this gives you hope and can help you on your way of finding the joy and peace in your life that you deserve. You need to say Yes to your life, take a real good look in the mirror, know the journey will not be easy but worth it. Once you know its starts with you first put on your seal belt but know it will be the best ride of your life . Its time for you to start to live the live that God wants you to live...

2009-11-06T11:03:00.002-05:00

I'm homeschooling my three kids this year. Its been such a blessing for our entire family. I've never felt more of a connection with my children and they are building a better realationsip with each other. So many people ask me why I'm homeschooling or what made me do it. There are so many reasons why we decided but for the main reason is God told us. For those who have had those feelings or been lead by the Lord you know what I'm talking about. Many people ask me about high school, testing, college, etc., or I hear people say I could never do that. Its not about me its about God and If God really is the center of our life and I say I trust him with everything than I have to trust he has a plan for our family. I know he does. We think we have to have all the anwers but we don't. Yes, its impotant to be educated, have goals and dreams but we don't have to have everthing figured out. Fear, control, worry, doubt is not God. We can either choose to walk by faith and not by sight or we can let the enemy control you and block the blessings God has for your life. What ever God has placed on your heart don't reject it. Pray, read the Bible and then get out there and do what he has called you to do. People might think you are crazy but itsn't that the fun part! Its no fun being like everyone! Take the leap, trust God and enjoy the journey. It will be the best ride of you life!!!

2009-10-23T19:33:00.004-04:00

I had the opportunity to speak for Head Start the other day. I pray that God guides me and gives me the words to help someone and no matter how much I plan and prepare God takes me in a whole different direction. Isn't that true with everything in life? We may have a plan and have it all together and before you know it God will show you who really is in control! Even after I speak, I can be so hard on myself never thinking its good enough or focusing on what I didn't do or say. Again, its human nature I guess to be so hard on our selves but its not healthy. We can hold ourselves back from so many opportunities becasue we think we have to be better or we think we aren't good enough but the truth is we are good enough and if God thinks you are ready he will open the doors for you. He knows your heart and he knows what you need to learn and work on. When I release all my fears and doubt to him and know I did the best with what I knew and with what I had God will do the rest. Its not about me and its not about pleasing anyone but God. Today. learn to be grateful where ever you are and stop beating yourself up becasue you are perfect just the way you are and God will continue to mold you in the way he wants you to be. The only thing you have to do is to stay in his word and do your part and keep getting out there and never stop doing what he has called you to do. Remember with God all things are possible...

Making a commitment to write at least 2 times a week

2009-10-19T19:51:00.007-04:00

Today, I am finally making a commitment to write at least two times a week! There are days by the end of the night I'm so exhausted that the last thing I want to think about is writing or when I get up in the morning or wake up in the middle of the night God has given me an idea or topic I should write on but I just can't seem to get my butt to the computer! I make all the excuses in the world why I can't but really I can. Everything is a choice and its not what we feel its what we know. I know what God wants me to do with my life. There is nothig more I would want to do (besides being a wife, mother, dauther, sister and friend of course) than to to share what I've learned in my life and the mistakes I've made to help someone else. Its not going to happen no matter how much I pray if I don't get off my butt and do what God has called me to do! God has a purpose for every single one of us. Its about finding our pupose, learning, stepping out in faith and most importantly developing our relationship with Jesus. There will be many topics I will write about. I don't claim to be an expert but what I've learned has changed my life dramatically. I'm not a writer so you will find grammer errors and probably misspelled words!!! I will be transparent letting you into my life. Please don't judge me and I won't judge you...All I ask is that you keep an open heart and mind and maybe give a few of my suggestions a try and see if it works in your life. I'm confident it this messed up girl from Taylor, Michigan can change her life so can you!

I'm So Thankful For My Hubby!

2009-02-28T18:11:00.002-05:00

Three years ago my husband could not sit down and talk any sense into me! Whatever he would say I would disagree even if I knew he was right! I never wanted to listen to him nor did I honor or respect him. All I could ever see was what he didn't do. He didn't clean the house like I wanted, he wasn't romantic the way I wanted him to be, he wasn't outspoken like me basically he wasn't me and Thank God! I could never live with someone like me! Anyway, if he was like me we would probably be homeless somewhere! Mark is the complete opposite of me but we complement each other. Today, I was so bothered by something and I think out loud. So, he let me get what was bothering me off my chest and then he sat he down and told me to look at the other side. He was exactly right. I had a valid point but when something bothers you or you get upset, it really important to look at the root of the problem. What can you learn from the situation? Its so easy to go on with life and get along with people when everything goes your way but when there is friction or someone isn't treating you the way you think you should be treated you really have to look at yourself and ask what is it about you? Its real growth when you can find love in every situation even when things don't go your way. What are you doing to bring this into your life? What can you learn from the situation? I've learned to trust my husband, to honor him and to listen. To be more flexible and to not let my ego get the best of me and to love even when its not easy.

Important Lesson Learned From My 8 Year Old Daughter

2009-02-26T13:06:00.002-05:00

Last night I needed time to write my book so my husband decided to go to Makenna's gymnastics practice early and take Marcia to watch. Not long after he walked into the gym he saw Makenna fall from the high bar. He saw her coaches run to her and by the way she fell he had a feeling her arm was broken. Her coaches came up to Mark and told him exactly what he was thinking," you need to take her to the nearest ER because we think she broke her arm. " Mark immediately called me while the entire time Makenna remained calm, did not loose control and never cried. Mark and I talked and I told him I would pick up Markus from Bible Class and I will meet him at the hospital. Mark and I both remainded calm. Of course we wanted her to get the best care as soon as possible we kept our emotions in check as well. He then handed the phone to Makenna and as soon as she heard my voice I heard her voice begin to quiver. I told her I loved her and to stay focus not to focus on the pain but to focus on something that she loves and makes her happy and I would be there soon. She said OK mommy and did exactly what we have taught her. She is an amazing little girl and is an example for all of us. How many times do things happen in our life and we freak out! By letting our emotions get the best of us never helps the situation. In life there are things that will hurt and experiences that can truly knock the wind out of ourselves but its important to stay focus and know this to shall pass. Makenna was more upset when the nurse said she might have to cut her leotard! The x-rays confirmed her arm was broken. The Doctor reset her arm put her cast on and she was already talking about getting back in the gym to condition, stretch and do what ever she can. People have asked me, "well what about gymnastics is she going to have to quit." The answer is absolutely NO! If you want something bad enough you will do anything in your power to make it happen. This is a great life Lesson for Makenna. I told her in life you will face road blocks and things sometimes do not go according to plan. You can either give up like the 98% of the population or you can be like the 2% and focus on the positive and work on making yourself stronger mentally, physically and spiritually. To focus on the healing and not the problems and to learn the lesson and move forward. Most people face some sort of disappointment, setback, loss or rejection and they just give up but if you are a winner you will learn form the lesson and find your strength and the true Strength comes from God. Makenna will tell you, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13
The best advice I can give anyone is to find your strength in God, work on your mindset which then will be passed down to your children. If you overreact, complain and focus and put your attention on the problem then your child will do the same thing. If you want to teach your child to be a winner and to succeed in life than you must do the work yourself first and show your children the way.

My eight year old daughter

2009-01-12T08:44:00.004-05:00

So, my oldest daughter is getting older and with that she wants to make more decisions on her own. I have to realize that she is getting older as much as I don't want to! In one way its great because we can do more and talk about more but then you realize how fast time goes and one day she will be all grown up and on her own. I can remember being her age. She has always been very independent and knows what she wants. I've always said she's a old lady in this little girls body! She takes gymnastics six days a week and two of those days are in the morning before school and she still maintains all A's. When I ask her if its too much or if she wants to do something else, she looks at me and says No this is what she loves to do. She's determined, driven, compassionate, independent and is a leader even at her age. Yes, she is still my baby and its my job as a mom to guide her and but I have to let her learn some lessons on her own too. As an adult or even as a teenager I want her to be able to make her own choices and not have someone else telling her what to do. Lets face it, if children don't learn at a young age on how to make choices and negative and positive consequences, then when we are not around they will just look for someone else to tell them what to do. Its better for them to learn life lessons on things that might be a big deal to her at eight but its not really and her life will not be in jeopardy because of her choice. For example, my daughter didn't want to wear her hat to school today. Its freezing outside. I could of argued with her or demanded her to wear it or I can let her not wear her hate and if she is cold she will learn her lesson on her own. If she forgets her school work or forgets to do homework I do not take it up to school for her nor do I nag her to do her homework. Its not my responsibility. I will help her if she ask me but she has to learn responsibility. Its a big deal to a third grader not to have her homework done and have to explain it to her teacher. I would rather her learn these lessons at eight than when she is 17 years old There is coming a day when I will not be there and she will be alone to make some decisions that could affect the rest of her life. She is going to be faced with sex, drugs, alcholol or someone is drunk and wants to drive her home. Those are the times I want her to know how to make the right decisions because her life and others will depend on it.. Life is all about lessons. I think nowadays so many parents try to protect their children and bails their kids out of every situation. It ends up hurting the child in the long run. The child doesn't learn for themselves and thinks they can say or do anything they want no matter who it hurts and then the consequences they learn as a adult are much greater if they would of learn them as a child. As for Makenna, I have to be more patient and let her continue to let her grow into the beautiful girl that she is and not think I have to be in complete control of her because that is not want parenting is all about.